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Cpalmson · 08-06-2013, 02:25 PM

Debated on which forum to post this in, but I decided the National Forum was best because it serves the broader good.

I know some have discussed using Plenty of Fish (POF) as a site to search for adult fun. I think I've heard of a few providers using it as well. I heard about POF nearly a year ago. There was a lot of positive feedback. The site is free. It was laid back and pretty much catered to a wide range of dating desires-- from one night stands to marriage.

I tried it out, and it seemed promising. I sorta had other things pop up, so I stopped messing with the site until about a month ago when I re-activated. At the time, I noticed some changes. For one, I could no longer select a wide range of ages. I wanted to search for women 18- mid 40s. Every time I'd put in 18 as my low end, it defaulted to 33. I contacted their support to ask why. I then got a very not-so friendly reply (see below). Apparently, POF sees no reason why a 47 year old male would want to contact an 18 year old. They put an age range of +/- 14 years. For example if you are 45, your search range would be 31-59. Additionally, they felt their site was being used more for casual hook ups than for dating. In other words, all the good things about POF are now gone. It is nothing more than another traditional dating site like Match.com. As a matter of fact, they are stopping the use of "intimate encounters" as one of the dating preferences you can choose. Here's their reply to my question.

I'm trying to use the search feature based on age. I'm trying to select 18 to 47 years old. Everytime I select this option, the 18 goes to 33. Then I only get results for ladies 33-47. I'm interested in finding ladies at 18 years of age and older. What gives?

Hello,

Thank you for taking the time to email POF.com.

When Markus created POF, it was all about finding a relationship with the right person. For the first 7 years this worked really well, the site grew to 10 million users without any employees, and POF was generating a ton of relationships. Around 3 years ago, everyone started using the website via mobile phones. Today about 70% of POF use is via a mobile phone and unfortunately about 2% of men started to use POF as more of a hookup site mostly due the the casual nature of cell phone use.

In sticking with our vision that POF is all about Relationships, POF is going to make a bunch of changes to ensure it stays a relationship-focused site.

1. Any first contact between users that contains sexual references will not be sent. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will be deleted without warning. This rule has actually been in effect since last month and it's made the site so much better.

2. You can only contact people +/- 14 (or +/- 9 years for those under age 22) years of your age. There is no reason for a 50 year old man to contact a 18 year old women. The majority of messages sent outside those age ranges are all about hookups. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will get deleted.

3. Intimate Encounters will go away in the next few months. There are 3.3 Million people who use the site every day, of those there are only 6,041 single women looking for Intimate Encounters. Of those 6,041 women, the ones with hot pictures are mostly men pretending to be women. Intimate Encounters on POF can be summed up as a bunch of horny men talking to a bunch of horny men pretending to be women.

4. We no longer offer the option to attach images to messages. This includes public and private images. Many users were using this feature to bypass our terms and conditions and send inappropriate images.

In short the vast majority of people will not be impacted. This is because the vast majority of people are not going around spamming women saying "let's have sex tonight". Markus can't change POF alone, we need your help to get the word out there that POF is all about relationships!

Regards,

Jenny
POF Team
POF.com

Pink Floyd · 08-06-2013, 04:47 PM

Interesting post. I have never tried Plenty of Fish, and probably won't now.

tia travels · 08-06-2013, 05:31 PM

A 50yo shouldn't be contacting an 18yo
because they don't want you saying you were....

Goddess Emma Love · 08-06-2013, 05:43 PM

POF wants to be big brother, huh? What difference does it make who you want to see just as long as they are legal and willing?! Marcus must have had a recent head injury to want to make such changes.

Cpalmson · 08-06-2013, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tia travels

A 50yo shouldn't be contacting an 18yo
because they don't want you saying you were....

Last time I checked, 18 is the legal age. Actually in a lot of states, it is lower than 18.

Karyn Lovely · 08-07-2013, 12:35 AM

I kind of just want to troll them now. Sign up as a 21 year old and message them like "Wtf, is wrong with your search I like men in their 40's what gives?! My max age that I can search for is 30? I BEGIN with 30 year olds. You tryna sexually oppress me? No, these men are not as old as my dad and I don't have daddy issues, I have siblings that age stop being a dick. What's up with this bogus ass cutoff anyways? 9 years up to 21 and then at 22 I'm magically just a full grown adult now and it jumps to 14? WTF is up with 14years anyways? My parents are 18 years apart. Are you saying that they don't deserve to be together? You saying I can't genuinely find love with an older man?! What is this Nazi Germany? Big brother screening my searches now? Stop bein a DICK and lemme see some DICK!!!" - or something along those lines lol.

joesmo888 · 08-07-2013, 06:25 AM

I know what i write won't be popular with the mid age crowd but i will say it anyway... i used to be a lot into online dating a few years back (its how i met my current gf) and the girls i would meet who were in their 20's would complain about guys in their 40s or older messaging them and it would creep them out... one girl i went out with a few times even put in her profile "READ MY AGE RANGE, STOP MESSAGING ME IF YOU ARE OVER 40!". and she would STILL get older guys messaging her anyway and it drove her nuts.

so i think this policy was put into place for that reason. and yes they want to go back to being a tradional dating site rather than hook up site. really it boils down to what i talked about in the other thread.. way higher ratio of guys vs. girls. if its gonna be a hookup site thats what will happen and they need to do something to attract more females into the site. unless you live in an eastern city there is gonna be a solid 10 to 1 ratio of male to females on there.

just my 2 cents..

Brooke Wilde · 08-09-2013, 02:20 PM

My ex best friend met her meth head husband on there. Awful for her, great for him, her family is filthy rich.

Old-T · 08-09-2013, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joesmo888

i used to be a lot into online dating a few years back (its how i met my current gf) and the girls i would meet who were in their 20's would complain about guys in their 40s or older messaging them and it would creep them out... one girl i went out with a few times even put in her profile "READ MY AGE RANGE, STOP MESSAGING ME IF YOU ARE OVER 40!". and she would STILL get older guys messaging her anyway and it drove her nuts.

If a lady has a clear age range (or height, city, ethnicity, etc.,) identified and guys ignore it--toss those guys off the site.

But an artificial age bracket of 14 years is stupid. It is stupid at 20/35, and it is even more nonsensical at 40/55.

According to that "logic" my parents should not have met, my aunt & uncle should not have met, my boss and his wife, my boss's boss and her husband, and lots of others.

Glad I was never inclined to be a member there. I didn't even know it existed until recently when a friend started ranting about exactly this kind of issue with them--she is 25 and in her personal life likes guys in their 40s.

so i think this policy was put into place for that reason. and yes they want to go back to being a tradional dating site rather than hook up site. .

If you don't want to be a hook-up site they really think that will magically change because 30 y/o horny guys can write a hot looking 23 y/o but a 38 y/o guy can't? I suspect it's easy to code it so if a girls says "20-35 only" the software can cut off any messages from an 80 y/o. And if another girl likes 80 y/o guys it can allow them through to her. That is not pushing the envelope on technology.

JONBALLS · 08-09-2013, 04:21 PM

i was banned for my comments

aparently.....some women were put off by my woooing

Sidewinder · 08-09-2013, 06:29 PM

I had a (free) account on POF. I got rather tired of them telling me they didn't have enough females in my area, so they'd show me the whole state, so I basically ignored them.

After I saw this, I went to the site and deleted my account completely.

POF: Fare thee well and get ye lost.

Cpalmson · 08-09-2013, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joesmo888

I know what i write won't be popular with the mid age crowd but i will say it anyway... i used to be a lot into online dating a few years back (its how i met my current gf) and the girls i would meet who were in their 20's would complain about guys in their 40s or older messaging them and it would creep them out... one girl i went out with a few times even put in her profile "READ MY AGE RANGE, STOP MESSAGING ME IF YOU ARE OVER 40!". and she would STILL get older guys messaging her anyway and it drove her nuts.

so i think this policy was put into place for that reason. and yes they want to go back to being a tradional dating site rather than hook up site. really it boils down to what i talked about in the other thread.. way higher ratio of guys vs. girls. if its gonna be a hookup site thats what will happen and they need to do something to attract more females into the site. unless you live in an eastern city there is gonna be a solid 10 to 1 ratio of male to females on there.

just my 2 cents..

If girls in their 20s don't want to be messaged by guys in their 40s, then stay off dating sites. Go to a bar or someplace else where guys their own age hang out.

I never complained to the site about the ugliness of the women I had to select from, so why should girls complain about age?

It is not the sites job to be the "morality" police. The site's reputation for facilitating hook ups is what made it attractive. The owners should have realized that. If they go the traditional dating site route, they will be dead in 2 years.

KatieKatie · 08-10-2013, 01:22 AM

Why do people complain about services that are free? Get off and shut up if you don't like it. Even better PAY for things you do like.

Lana_kane · 08-10-2013, 02:10 AM

CPALMSON ... They sent that out in a massive text I received it awhile back ...and I agree they deserve to have their rights respected .. If they don't want a 40 year old messaging them ... But I think it should be an actual right and not imposed. They should give an option during the creation of your profile ... If a female/male is interested in older men/women her/his messages won't be prescreened, but if she/he isn't then a filter could be placed on her/his mailbox for the age parameters they wish to be set.

Old-T · 08-10-2013, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lana_kane

.. If they don't want a 40 year old messaging them ... But I think it should be an actual right and not imposed. They should give an option during the creation of your profile ... If a female/male is interested in older men/women her/his messages won't be prescreened, but if she/he isn't then a filter could be placed on her/his mailbox for the age parameters they wish to be set.

Yes, it really is that simple. Which is why--coupled with the wording they apparently used--that it isn't the ladies complaining, it is the owners' desire to impose their morals on everyone on the site.