For the LADIES
The Why's of Men
> 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
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> (because they are plugged into a genius)
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> 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
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> (they don't have enough time)
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> 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
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> (they don't stop to ask directions)
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> 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
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> (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
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> (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
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> 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
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> (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
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> 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
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> (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
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> 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
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> (don't know.....it never happened)
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> ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
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> And the personal favorite:
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> 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
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> (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
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> Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
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> And for the ladies.....
>
> One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
> "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
> He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
> And they say blondes are dumb...
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>
> A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
> "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
> The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
>
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> "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
> "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
>
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>
> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
> A: A rumor
>
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>
> Dear Lord,
> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
> AMEN
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q: Why do little boys whine?
> A: They are practicing to be men.
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>
> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>
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>
> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
> A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."
>
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>
> Send this to at least five bright, funny women you know and make their day!
> And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!
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