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Guest071613-2 · 05-12-2010, 10:49 AM

A few months ago I lost a very dear friend. He was in his early 80's, but he was only as old as he felt, and lived a fabulously over-the-top, eccentric life...even to the very end. For fifteen years, he and I had martinis every Wednesday, and he would tell me all about his conquests that week. Last year he was diagnosed with cancer, but do you think that stopped him from gettin' his groove on? Absolutely not! Even to the end, he had his dipstick in the hobby. I loved that about him! Of course, towards the last month or two he couldn't care less about sex, but we still had our martinis while I listened to him complain that his nurse was not his type and she gave a terrible sponge bath...which to him, meant she was doing her job as a nurse, instead of as the provider he wished she was.

This got me thinking....what if several RN/LVN/CNA providers got together and started some sort of a sexy, at-home hospice? Baw-chick-a-WAH-WAH!! What a way to go! Even if the patient is so sick that he isn't thinking about sex, I am sure he would still enjoy a sponge bath from a beautiful, scantily clad lady. Just because you're sick doesn't mean you're dead yet! Hell, my friend would have been happy just to cop the occasional feel.

This could also potentially branch out into sports medicine, rehabilitation facilities (not DRUG rehab, physical rehab), or just anywhere that you have a bunch of bed-ridden guys with hard-ons. I would think the positive attention would speed up the recovery process, as well. Sounds like a winner to me!

*Humor is what makes the world go 'round, so if we can't joke about death (a very real and natural part of life) then what the Hell CAN we joke about?!

Discuss!

Guest092210 · 05-12-2010, 11:12 AM

Dannie, I think this idea is brilliant.

Lust4xxxLife · 05-12-2010, 11:17 AM

Sure, I think it could work. All involved would need to have the right qualifications so they could charge for the legitimate hospice services being provided and have them be covered by Obamacare. In some cases, family and friends of the patient might be an obstacle, but I find that people in these situations suddenly discover a much clearer sense of what's worth worrying about and what isn't.

Gonzo DFW · 05-12-2010, 11:29 AM

I know I'd enjoy that when the time comes. Besides, I've heard some of these assisted living places are as rocking as you wanna be.

Guest071613-2 · 05-12-2010, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo DFW

I know I'd enjoy that when the time comes. Besides, I've heard some of these assisted living places are as rocking as you wanna be.

Doh! This is one of those hoax news things. Funny anyway. The idea of them all slathered in baby oil is too much

PoppyToyota · 05-12-2010, 06:37 PM

I'm not really sure what is going to happen with my tumor. I know that if or when they place me in something like that I would love this service. This would be AWESOME! One question though...You think we could get the insurance companies to pick up the tab? Medicare? Just Saying....I might need a bath 5,6, or even 7 times a day if I only have to pay the co pay.

Clouddancer · 05-12-2010, 06:51 PM

I think its a great idea. Just the way I would want to go out.

otrdriver · 05-12-2010, 06:55 PM

Dannie think franchise!! this could be big

jfred · 05-12-2010, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dannie

...I would think the positive attention would speed up the recovery process...

I think the eventual negative attention would get you all arrested.

The live ones, that is.

Guest071613-2 · 05-12-2010, 07:10 PM

You know, I am only half-ass kidding about it. I've 'taken care' of two gentlemen in this kind of scenario, and it makes sense to me. It might sound strange but it had the added benefit of making me feel good, too. I felt very honored to be someone they wanted to share their last fun with, and I felt good about being able to make them happy. It wasn't all about the BCD, either. We laughed and cut up, I snuck booze in for one of them (what the Hell, he was dying!), we listened to Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday, it really was a lot of fun and I found it rewarding.

I might have to add a business entrepreneurship course to my classes next semester... I need some of you ladies to get your RN and LVN certification so you can help me out! Get to work!

Jfred I'll have to work out the kinks but there's got to be a way to do it without blatantly advertising it...

Tara Evans · 05-12-2010, 07:30 PM

I think it is a great idea. You go girl. I have volunteered at several nursery homes over the years and I tell you what those folks still know how to have a good time, I think it's just great. And the looks that I got from some of those men, I think they may have been a little naughty thoughts?

PoppyToyota · 05-12-2010, 07:56 PM

Naughty Thoughts....Of Course they were thinking naughty thoughts. Those men weren't blind and most of them have Viagra! lol

Tara Evans · 05-12-2010, 08:04 PM

You know Poppy how much I care for you! And I hope all is well for you. You know if it ever get bad enough and I pray you dont, you can come to a place in Rockwall and have naughty thoughts about me and I would make them come true.

jfred · 05-13-2010, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dannie

...I've 'taken care' of two gentlemen in this kind of scenario, and it makes sense to me. It might sound strange but it had the added benefit of making me feel good, too....

Jfred I'll have to work out the kinks but there's got to be a way to do it without blatantly advertising it...

Dannie, if you have helped men remain sexual until the end I do believe that you have earned yourself stars in heaven. Seriously.

As far as working out the kinks...come over and sit in the pool with me. We'll think visionary thoughts.

Guest030911 · 05-13-2010, 03:26 PM

Dannie, I have a double indemnity clause in my insurance policy that pays double to the person that is having sex with me if I have "the big one" during coitus. Wanna try and kill me with kindness?