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The Sandbox - National The Sandbox is a collection of off-topic discussions. Humorous threads, Sports talk, and a wide variety of other topics can be found here.

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Old 03-30-2011, 08:09 AM   #1
tracerxxx
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Default Why I'm Divorced...

Why I'm divorced . .

Last month my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.'

I thought.... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids....
They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..

So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way Happy Birthday ! '

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'

I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
Let's go!'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We?'

I responded,
'I guess not. What do you have in mind?'

She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
'Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment. I'll be right back.'

'Ok.' I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends
and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....

On the couch....

Naked.

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Old 03-30-2011, 10:13 AM   #2
Candence
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Now that is FUNNY!!!! Thanks... that was perfect for HUMP Day!
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Old 03-30-2011, 10:44 AM   #3
SouthCaliGent
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Old 03-30-2011, 11:28 AM   #4
Sweet N Little
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TFF!!!! Good one!!!
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Old 03-30-2011, 12:16 PM   #5
Guest030617
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You owe me a new keyboard.....i spit Root Beer all over it!!
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Old 03-30-2011, 12:35 PM   #6
82Vinny
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That was Great!!!!! Sounds like something that would happen to me!
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Old 03-30-2011, 02:30 PM   #7
tracerxxx
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by babydollsnow View Post
You owe me a new keyboard.....i spit Root Beer all over it!!

hey babydoll just come on over to South Mississippi and get your new keyboard it's here waiting on ya'
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Old 03-30-2011, 09:14 PM   #8
DallasRain
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lol--good one!!!!
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Old 04-02-2011, 09:54 AM   #9
Jumbo_mumbo
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Awesomely Funny!!!!!
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