Nice-Guy-Itis?

[ANONONE]

I subscribe to this e-newsletter put out by Jason Julius and found this most recent post to be thought provoking. Feel free to chime in. Is this guy a genius, or is this more pop-psychology babble?

I'm talking about Nice-Guy-Itis

Have you always been referred to as "a nice guy?"

Especially by women ...

Do you fear that you will "offend" women by being sexually
dominant or trying new things in the bedroom?

If you answered YES to any of those questions then
you have it.

Don't worry you're not alone...

Most modern men were brought up to be nice guys by our
parents. I know I was and so were my friends. After all,
what parent wants their kid to be a mean jerk, right?

The problem becomes being nice "ALL THE TIME" especially in
the bedroom.

Most guys don't realize it, but women spend hours fantasizing
about a man who 'takes' her and just flat out 'ravishes' her.
Women are naturally submissive in the bedroom, they want to
have the "it-just-happened experience."

If you don't believe me, go read the back covers of a few
romance novels. There is a reason women read these 400 page
romance novels... they WANT to be the woman in the story who
gets ravished.

This is why they get so turned on by bad boys. Almost every
woman has had at least one bad boy fling in her life. And
some get addicted to what he can do in the bedroom.

The problem is, bad boys are jerks. They treat women like a
kleenex, use it and throw it away.

So what women so desperately crave (and they get in the
romance novels) is a man who can be that exciting bad boy in
the bedroom and a good guy outside the bedroom.

This is very hard for a woman to find, so if you can be THAT
guy, it's like female catnip.

So you might be thinking... how do I do this?

This is where my friend David Shade comes in. You see, he
once lost his wife of 8 years to a bad boy. She cheated on
him then divorced him. It train-wrecked his life.

However, rather than pity himself, David set out to figure
out what he had done wrong and how to make sure it never
happened again.

Long story short, David solved the riddle of how to be a Bad
Boy in the Bedroom and a Good Guy in the Living room. If you
know about David, you know he's now a world famous expert on
Sexuality & Relationships, all because he taught other men
what he learned from his own experiences.

So, if you're tired of being Mr. Nice Guy all the time, I
highly recommend you check out his new program called Cure
Nice Guy. Check it out at the link below.

http://www.orgasmarts.com/niceguy.htm

[Tiffany Cums]

Take this as the Gospel!

[DFW5Traveler]

The problem I've seen is that when they see the nice guy on the outside, they won't give him a chance to see the bad boy BCD. Catch 22?

[nebtex1]

Good read ... and I agree with the notion.

But I also agree with post #3 , the previous post.

[Leah Ireland]

I don't get the dichotomy. What's so difficult about being great in bed and a great guy out of it?

[nebtex1]

Originally Posted by Leah Ireland

I don't get the dichotomy. What's so difficult about being great in bed and a great guy out of it?

The dichotomy is being "bad" in bed and then being a nice guy elsewhere ... it is a matter of opposing attitudes. The authors premise is that women like bad guys in bed (not just great in bed) and this bad behavior/attitude make him a bigger turn on in the bedroom; however, then they want him to be a nice guy and treat her like a princess in other aspects of life.

[nebtex1]

"... http://www.orgasmarts.com/niceguy.htm ..."

Boy ... what an advertisement for his course ... after reading it, I wanted to go out and have a session with my ATF.

I have to assume this guy makes shitloads of money from this.

[pornodave69]

I found out the hard way that what women SAY they want and what they REALLY want are two different things. I went to an all guys high school and the only girls I dealt with regularly were co-workers. They all said they wanted a nice guy and hated jerks. So, I decided I'd be the nice guy. BIG MISTAKE. Any time a needed a date for a dance or the prom and asked one out it was always "we can go as friends." Others would just turn me down saying "lets just be friends." So I watched them go out with assholes and had to listen to all their problems and let them cry on my shoulder, all while I wished they were going out with me.

On the rare occasion that I had a real date, it never went past one or two dates as I was told "you're too nice." WTF?! Do I have to bitch slap a woman to get her to like me or what? I was a virgin until I was 29 because I was nice. I even got ripped off by a street walker in DC. Couldn't even get laid by a hooker. Turns out the only women who are interested in me are sloppy drunks and they asked me out. Guess the booze was talking. After a few more rejections, insults and even laughed at I stopped asking them out altogether. Thanks God for the hobby.

Now I find it quite humorous that many of the girls who wouldn't give me the time of day before are now divorced with kids looking for a nice guy to spend time with, marry and play daddy to their kids. Guess who's not willing to play nice now.

[looiecypher]

I am a genuinely "nice guy" and because of this I have had very few real relationships.
As others have stated women love to use the bullshit line about wanting to be your friend.Then they will go have sex with the sleazy,greasy scumbag down the street.I don't know how many times I have heard women say that all they are looking for is a really nice guy to be with and then they immediately hook up with a "bad boy".Little did they know if they had gotten to the bedroom with me that I could be just as "bad" as the oily little stain they moved in with.
My problem is I am a nice guy and it is who I am.I'm not going to change just to fit into someone else's mold of what I should be.I found my solution to the problem and it's this hobby.I meet beautiful women have sex with them and enjoy myself.
I never feel rejected or that something must be wrong with me because I treat women with respect.Most providers ,especially those who offer GFE know what guys like me need.In fact I find most genuinely enjoy our time together and actually respect me for it.

[TexTushHog]

i don't know what the problem is. I'm a nice guy and I've been told by many women that I'm bad in the sack.

[Carrie Hillcrest]

Actually, THIS is why most women don't like self-proclaimed "Nice Guys":

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/ran...niceguys.shtml

Quick version: Be confident. Go for what you want. Don't say you want to be friends when you want a sexual relationship. Stop being a shmuck and then defensively blaming women for not digging you; it's not hot and just makes you look like more of a shmuck.

And if she decides she likes to date creeps ("bad boys") and then complains about it to you when they treat her poorly, tell her she's being a shmuck!

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Carrie Hillcrest

Actually, THIS is why most women don't like self-proclaimed "Nice Guys":

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/ran...niceguys.shtml

Quick version: Be confident. Go for what you want. Don't say you want to be friends when you want a sexual relationship. Stop being a shmuck and then defensively blaming women for not digging you; it's not hot and just makes you look like more of a shmuck.

And if she decides she likes to date creeps ("bad boys") and then complains about it to you when they treat her poorly, tell her she's being a shmuck!

Hell, be honest. You don't like NICE guys or BAD guys. You just plain don't like guys.

[looiecypher]

you kind of just proved my point carrie

[Carrie Hillcrest]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Hell, be honest. You don't like NICE guys or BAD guys. You just plain don't like guys.

Why are you so hostile lately? I remember when you first started posting in D&T, you were straightforward but quite civil in expressing your opinions; I kinda liked you. Why the sudden change in posting demeanor?

Also, I can provide several references to attest to just how much I enjoy spending time with men.

Originally Posted by looiecypher

you kind of just proved my point carrie

I wish I knew which point you meant so I could agree OR disagree with you. Care to clarify?

[DFW5Traveler]

Originally Posted by Carrie Hillcrest

Actually, THIS is why most women don't like self-proclaimed "Nice Guys":

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/ran...niceguys.shtml

Quick version: Be confident. Go for what you want. Don't say you want to be friends when you want a sexual relationship. Stop being a shmuck and then defensively blaming women for not digging you; it's not hot and just makes you look like more of a shmuck.

And if she decides she likes to date creeps ("bad boys") and then complains about it to you when they treat her poorly, tell her she's being a shmuck!

I read the article and then I read the comments. The Nice Guy article pretty much says all nice guys are insecure, whereas I have to disagree. The authors' responses to the people that commented suggests she is not just a bitch, but an angry bitch.

In this hobby, I'd wager that the insecure nice-guy would also have trouble with a provider. If a nice-guy truly is insecure, he'd have issue with the provider who might "compare" his insecurities with the other clients she beds. Some nice-guys might even go so far as to think that going to a provider would be taking advantage of her.

I have to ask all the providers now, is it hard to deal with clients who may have insecurity issues and do you just act your way through the session? Do you let them schedule future appointments?

For the second question, if your answered no, why so heartless?