Spoiler Alert: some ain't gonna like this!
The hobbyist in question: Frankly his tactics are known and well documented for any and every provider to discover if they just research. He is a known problem who shorts ladies more times than he pays the correct amount, creates frankly undesirable and potentially unsafe situations/scenerios for any lady that agrees to see him. This fact is hidden nor hard to find out yet ladies still see him and try to justify it. He calls, YES even me..he calls and harasses you, blows your phone and voicemail up, email, PM's any available avenue you make known he hits it constantly. Personally I wouldn't send my worse enemy over to see him, I didn't respond to him for the longest and then finally told him to shut the fuck up and quit contacting me..DeAnna don't play that shit. Does he have some circumstances beyond his control..YOU BETCHA..does he use those to gain sympathy and potentially manipulate ladies..FO SHO...however..i say again, its not a secret, some even try to see him repeatedly expecting different results..Ladies have to simply for fucking once say NO and quit seeing him..I don't give a shit what bill is due, what he says or promises..It don't make 2 shits if he says he will prepay the full amount (more on that in a minute)..I would NOT see him period. He is a problem who when he doesn't get his way will make threats, will bug you more, will elude to the fact he may "ruin" you on the board..
That said..providers need to quit playing the victim #1. #2, providers need to quit listening to other providers that encourage them to go against their natural tendancy to start drama.
Here is the deal..99% of the time hobbyist can only do to providers what we allow... If we get shorted, we allowed it..wtf you say? yep..whether its because we normally check the money and we didn't or because we "trusted" someone..whatever.. we allow ourselves to be fucked with. Money..or the need for it often times trumps all logic and reasoning and makes ladies do funny things. I.e ladies will agree to travel long distances or abnormal distances and wave fees or lower rates and then when the shit don't go right want to play the victim.. fuck..instead of giving in, stick to your guns, turn the damn job down and be steadfast in your rules and regulations that are required to see you. Thats for all women...If a guy is willing to attempt to "talk you down" on your rates he has a tendency already showing..so once you agree to "this deal" or that deal or wave this fee or that fee because as any provider will say they are just trying to treat the guys good.. no..you are trying to make a buck and seal the deal..so we compromise ourselves by giving in...then the bullshit starts when we show up, the not following rules, not respecting time, trying bareback..whatever it may be.. but the hobbyist tries it because he figures you gave in once..you might again..so we set ourselves up to unneeded hassle and stress just because we either fail to see the signs or choose to ignore them due to needing money.
does it make what the hobbyist is doing right? FUCK NO..PERSONALLY any hobbyist that ask for a deal I laugh at in private and encourage them to see one of the other fine ladies in arkansas who will see them(hey guys how many of you heard that line in the last year from me..yeah lmao)..But any asshole who feels the need to waste my time seeking a deal, waste my time asking bullshit..you gotta nip that shit in the bud and either they are booking or they ain'...Thats where all this flirting and bullshit gets ladies in trouble..guys expect that shit constantly they don't realize its just a ploy women are using to get the business..they don't wanna deal with the bullshit leading up to the date, they just wanna talk all sexy, share pics and stories etc to get your biz
As far as all the other rhetoric and responses..look if someone gets burned for 150 bucks a year ago..you gotta let that shit go..and damn sure not even think about booking with him a second time..don't make a shit if he promises double your rate(see my point about wanting money trumps all logic)..and if i even thought about giving a guy a second chance he would have to prepay in full..and damn sure add on the amount he owed too. Fact is shit happens, its not right, its not fun, its not fair, but as women, as the ladies needing the money..we can't let ourselves loose sight of reason and logic in order to make that money..and hopefully instead of being heated and pissed off, some can step back and see what im saying.. We as providers can only be victims if we allow ourselves to be..I don't count money (i think its unprofessional and tacky)..nor do i ask for it or require it up front..i don't ask for envelopes or cards, nothing..from the business side, when services are rendered he is free to pay..quite frankly at that time if he chooses to short me, run out the door without paying etc..then so be it, he needed that money worse than i did..i can't sweat or stress about assholes..in 15yrs I have never been shorted..knock on wood.. but I also don't engage in bullshit and flirting, and deals etc it is what it is..
As far as going above and beyond and this CNA stuff....she stepped up where many would not, but you didn't post about it when it happened, you didn't alert anyone at the time(a year ago)..and you even tried to see him again after all that, so to use that against him as your argument seems a bit off.. sorta the fool me once shame on you..fool me twice shame on me.. you shouldn't have seen him the first time as info as to his actions has been published forever, and you certainly shouldn't have a 2nd time if he shorted you and it was so awful what you had to do for him..
so there you have it..bitch and flame away, the hobbyist is a jackass and trouble for any girl that agrees to see him, the provider in question based on what I know did what any reasonable human being would have done given the extreme circumstances..and she probably is and has handled it better than most all things considered.. you can't put someone into the situation she was and expect different..cash and dash it certainly was not and anything that happened was brought on by the hobbyist.
im not backing guys that are douchebags an short ladies and shit..but im also not supporting ladies who allow themselves to be taken advantage of then want the white knights to think they are a victim..no..we let money cloud our judgement then want sympathy..there is a difference