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Jase41 · 07-18-2010, 08:41 AM

I have a question for the ladies....

If after a session, one would offer to take you to dinner, would you accept and would you charge an additional fee for that?

I think I found my ATF, and would love to be able to take her to dinner afterwards, but would not want to have an addition fee for that. Just a nice dinner with someone I find special, a little nice conversation over dinner.

Your thoughts and opinions?

Maestro · 07-18-2010, 09:06 AM

Most providers have an extended session that could easily accommodate a meal into the session. If you want the time, pay for it. You may get a gratuity, but never assume one.

Toreador_one · 07-18-2010, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jase41

I have a question for the ladies....

If after a session, one would offer to take you to dinner, would you accept and would you charge an additional fee for that?

Your thoughts and opinions?

It varies from provider to provider.

The rule of the game as far as I am concerned, is to ask. If she accepts and does not make any mention of expected compensation, then you should not expect to compensate her for her time. She needs to make it clear if there is compensation expected and that must happen before the date. Been there done that numerous times.

Per instance, a year or so ago I invited a provider to a concert, she accepted. We spent several hours together and had a good time at the concert (it was outdoors) and took her to dinner afterwards. That was all, no bcd activities. I did not offer compensation, she did not ask for any, it was obvious to me after the evening she was cool with it, saw her several more times afterwards. Have done the same with other providers.

By the way, I know you want to hear it from the ladies, you will get different answers which may or may not help you.

punisher · 07-18-2010, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jase41

I have a question for the ladies....

If after a session, one would offer to take you to dinner, would you accept and would you charge an additional fee for that?

I think I found my ATF, and would love to be able to take her to dinner afterwards, but would not want to have an addition fee for that. Just a nice dinner with someone I find special, a little nice conversation over dinner.

Your thoughts and opinions?

I have done it before with a provider. However, I have seen her and had several sessions with her (around 3x) and felt that we "clicked" so I asked her if she would like to have an early breakfast with me after I got off work, nothing more and nothing less. I also told her that sex isn't everything and that I would just like her company and she said "Yes". Now, no extra charge for going out with her was ever mentioned by her or me. So after I got off work a few nights later, I went to pick her up and we just went to Denny's to eat. We talked for couple of hours inside Denny's and after that I took her back to her motel, kissed her on her cheek, and said goodnight to each other. It was my choice not to have sex with her and I am 100% sure I could have gotten some without paying, I was just too tired and just being in her company made me smile which was enough for me. Now, during those 2-hour conversation, I was able to determined that this provider just had too many issues and drama in her life and just felt that I didn't want to get tangled up in all that stuff. She still has my number, and like a considerate provider (I have an SO), she doesn't and hasn't contacted me at all unless I contact her. So, I say yes, it is possible to go out with an ATF without having to fess up more dead Presidents, unless of course she makes it clear that you would have to fess up more dead Presidents for going out with her. Just sayin' and my .02 cents in.

CivilBarrister · 07-18-2010, 09:58 AM

Yes, there are many providers who offer a package which has some time for dinner and then BCD - but that was not the question posed.

I don't believe in paying a provider to have dinner with me, or going to any non-BCD activitiy. If there is any chemistry, then the providers are usually happy for some "time off". If there is no chemistry - OR if the provider has a SO or family or not enough time to be with her friends, then it probably isn't going to happen.

Just ask, either in an email or pm. Just be sure to make it clear that this will be dinner off the clock, so there is a clear understanding from both sides.

Bgzz5 · 07-18-2010, 10:07 AM

I had a session with a really well known provider last year that kind of falls in this topic. I had a session with her the first time and from the moment I walked in her apartment, we clicked. We talked alot and obviously had bcd activities as well. I stayed with her for a couple of hours when I only scheduled for 1 hour. Anyway I had left her apt without leaving the donation by accident. I realized it when I was heading home and reached in my pockets to find the money still there. Funny thing is that she never asked either, she forgot too. So when I find the money in my pockets, I immediately call her and apologize to her and we both laughed bc she had forgotten too. So all she told me was that I would owe her some dinner. So the very next night I call her to take her out to a nice place. We eat and gave a great time. She was really turning some heads at the restaurant, and all the while she was holding my hand and just acting like my g/f. It felt really cool. After dinner I walk her out to her car and try to give her the money again and she doesn't take it. All she says is that I owe her another session. So the following night I go to her place again and see her just like the first time. We talked some more and when I left I didn't forget to give her her donation and again she really didn't wanna take it hut insisted. And she even gave me a discount, only for the second visit. So all in all, I got a free session by accident and a very nice dinner with a hot Latina spinner at no additional charge. I guess it just depends in the provider. Which means ymmv.

bullet0 · 07-18-2010, 10:25 AM

I've been on the other side of the equation a couple of times. One traveling provider I had seen several times wanted to go for a Harley ride. As her next visit approached, we talked more about it and she said she needed some "down time" which made it clear to me she did not expect any compensation. We took the bike down to Kemah for lunch, went to an Astros game, and then went back to her hotel for some (paid) bcd.

I had another local provider, after a late morning session, ask me if I wanted to go get some lunch. We went down the street from her incall and had a very nice lunch.

BigLouie · 07-18-2010, 10:38 AM

OK thoughts and opinons. It just depends. I have known plenty of providers who I met for lunch lots of time when I worked in the galleria area. I would just drop them an e-mail or text and ask if they were up for lunch. Knew a couple who I would chat on line with from time to time and I would ask them if they wanted to grab dinner. However the key is that you DO NOT make the lady feel as if you are too obsessed with her or if you feel or want it to morph into a dating thing. I also know a few guys who make it a habit to include dinner off the clock as part of a session. So basically it all depends on how you handle it.

nebtex1 · 07-18-2010, 10:49 AM

I have had lunch a couple of times with a provider (no extra charge) and I also do not believe in paying for the time ... only the meal. If the provider does want to spend the time ... she can say no.

I only ask a provider if I have had an excellent time and I have seen her multiple times. I have also had a provider make an excuse (to busy, have to see her sister, etc.) but she says she'd to love to do it another time, however, I got that feeling she was making something up ... why not just say no or it agains her policy? I guess she doesn't want to alienate a regular.

Greg Stevens · 07-18-2010, 11:15 AM

I have done this both ways.

One time I set it up for dinner to be included and paid for the time and the dinner and for the activities. Had a great time and a wonderful dinner afterwards. But it was set up as that because I wanted a dinner date as well as a playmate.

Other times, I have asked how pressed for time they were, and if they were interested in grabbing a bite given the time of day and me having not had a meal on the day. I have had some great meals and conversations which led into such a fun time afterwards. I paid for the dinner and they never asked for any more donation, or brought up any complaint about shorting them.

I guess the best thing is to say if you want to have them go to dinner regardless, then you should take care of their time, if however it is something that is just being a gentlemen and they are willing to go, then pay for dinner and enjoy the extra company.

CivilBarrister · 07-18-2010, 11:23 AM

On kinda different note; There are a few ladies which whom I have scheduled multiple hour BCD sessions - BUT I I KNEW I would need a break after an hour or so.

So I have asked providers for an hour session, then BREAK for dinner; then back for the 2nd hour. If they didn't want to, I would have schedule 1 hour and that would be it.

But that is different from having a 2hour session THEN going off for dinner.

Guest052115 · 07-18-2010, 12:05 PM

You will find many providers are willing to spend social time with you at no charge, while others want to be paid no matter what. Easiest thing to do is just ask her while making it clear that dinner will be non-compensated. If she says no, no big deal. Someone earlier mentioned a very important point - don't make it seem like you're trying to date her. She needs to feel like it will simply be 2 people going out, having fun, and enjoying each others' company. Nothing more and nothing less.

If you like the dinner/social aspect of the hobby, it doesn't necessarily have to be with an ATF or someone you've seen a few times before. I've taken several providers out to eat when meeting them for the first time. In some instances, it was her suggestion. If you click really well with a particular lady and want to treat her to dinner, just ask. The worst that can happen is she says no.

I'm not a big fan of paying an hourly rate just to have someone accompany me to dinner or any other social event. The only time I've ever broken that rule is if I'm flying someone in from out of town specifically to see me. In these cases, the lady needs to make enough money to cover her travel expenses.

bbkid · 07-18-2010, 02:39 PM

I've never taken one out to dinner, but I have gone out for breakfast and lunch with several of our fine ladies here. It's a simple question to ask if she would like to go get something to eat. No mention of paying for that "time & companionship" has ever taken place. I have even met a few of them for lunch and no bcd activity took place.

mysterioso77 · 07-18-2010, 02:41 PM

About a year and a half ago I made a special trip to Dallas to see a tiny Asian that was on my list and that I just couldn't get out of my mind. Session was scheduled for 6:30 pm due to her other job or something and afterwards I was starving. She was a very sweet girl and I just decided to ask on a whim if she wanted to go out to dinner with me, my treat. She said sure, let her change clothes.
We went to an Italian place near her condo and I really enjoyed her company (and how smoking hot she looked). She even insisted I try her meal and fed me off her fork! Drove her back to her condo afterwards and she gave me a nice kiss on the cheek goodbye. No money changed hands for the time and to this day it is one of the most memorable and special times of my hobbying life.

Guest030915 · 07-18-2010, 03:33 PM

I've invited several providers to lunch but none of them have ever taken me up on it. I plan to change that in the coming weeks though. I'll make more of an effort to contact them. I left the invitation open at..."Call me when you have time and I'll take u to lunch". They probably won't call because of the unwritten rule about providers contacting hobbyists unexpectedly. So, I'll start making the first move.