Dirty Joke of the Day

[DallasRain]

Dirty Joke of the Day

A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw and he sees another man on the 1st floor.

He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he does sign language.

He points at his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion.

The man on the 1st floor knods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating.

The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says, "What the fuck is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!"

The other guy says," I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming."

[BIG C]

Good one.....

[EZRider]

LOL

[mrseed76]

Originally Posted by DallasRain

Dirty Joke of the Day

A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw and he sees another man on the 1st floor.

He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he does sign language.

He points at his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion.

The man on the 1st floor knods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating.

The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says, "What the fuck is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!"

The other guy says," I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming."

Whats green and smells like bacon???




Kermit's finger....

[When You Are Ready]

[ArisRose]

3 Alabama universities did a study to find out the purpose of foreskin when it comes to pleasure during sex.

The first study was performed by Samford University & found that foreskin enhances the pleasure for the female partner.

A second study performed by The Univesity of Alabama found that the foreskin enhances the pleasure for the male partner.

The final study performed by Auburn University found that the foreskin did not aid in pleasure during sexual intercourse....but helped prevent the man's hand from flying off his penis and hitting him in the face.

[AuburnTiger]

Hey Dallas,

The next day the construction worker does the same sign to a woman working down on the 1st floor.

She replies -- pointing to her eye, grabbing her left boob, and then grabbing her crotch. He gets pissed again and runs down , "What the fuck is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!"

She said "I knew that, and I said "I lefttit in the box"

[DallasRain]

lol--I luv em!

.............................. .................

But Actually

A guy and a girl go on a date and are parked on a back road some distance from town. Things are getting hot and heavy when she stops him.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $80 for sex," she says.

He stares at her for a couple of seconds, shrugs, gives her four twenties and goes for it.

Later, he's smoking a cigarette and looking out the window.

"Why aren't we going anywhere?" she asks.

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $100."

.............................. ........................


A girl was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and the girl was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, the girl's grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.

Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, the girl told her grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.

"Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," and she proceeded to the back of the line.

A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry.

Read more: http://www.joke-db.com/dirty-sex#ixzz2JQtOhB5e

[bootlegger]

Old farmer walked into the house one day after a long hard day working in the corn field. As he passed by his wife washing dishes at the sink he slapped her on the ass. " woman your ass is as big as a combine". After supper they went to bed. As they lay in bed the farmer reaches over and starts rubbing her on the ass. She turns over and says" you don't think I'm going to fire up this 100 thousand dollar combine for just one little old ear of corn do you?"

[bootlegger]

Old folks always poke me at weddings saying " your next " so I started poking them at the funeral home saying Your Next.