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alluringava · 12-21-2011, 11:38 PM

Okay now, this relates to the thread about having a provider versus a mistress. My argument was that most women ( at least the ones I know) would be angry at the thought of infidelity on their husband's part, but let's say ( if you're a guy) it was your wife who caught you cheating. Do you think she would be more forgiving if you explained to her that it was a paid/professional fling, or confessed that the woman you were with was your mistress and that she meant something to you? ( regardless of what you were 'paying' or 'giving gifts' to your mistress). And, would your wife be more likely to divorce you just because you were unfaithful , or because of the nature of the infidelity ( mistress vs hooker?)

Now for the ladies, would it even matter if you caught your SO with an escort OR his mistress? Or would you be more hurt and angry by the fact that he had someone ( mistress) to whom was more than just a 'pay for play by the hour' kind of thing?

Shayla · 12-21-2011, 11:43 PM

A One-night-stand and seeing a hooker are basically the same thing in my opinion. It was a one time thing so it's more "forgiving".
Having an on going affair of some sort (arrangment or not) would be more hurtful emotionally.
Of course... For me personally - if I caught him doing either one of these things, the relationship would end.

AdventureAdams · 12-21-2011, 11:43 PM

Honestly, I would be divorcing him either way. If you are going to cheat be smart enough to cover you tracks.

the pragmatist · 12-22-2011, 12:03 AM

Both ways suck. Been there done that!

hobby hound · 12-22-2011, 12:08 AM

Infidelity doesn't mean a person is no longer in love with their SO and I would be forgiving if she was still in love with me but say I couldn't perform certain things and she wanted to be desired and felt attractive.
Some people have physical ailments that doesn't allow them to be physical and being sexually active is healthy.
I know a couple and she can't stand giving blow jobs and told her husband to go and get them if he wanted it that bad. She said it in front of me and to my surprise thought she was joking. Her relationship was solid and she knew he was just getting a blow job. The point is for some people sex is not a option and tellling a lie about it is the most hurtful part.

AdventureAdams · 12-22-2011, 12:12 AM

Its a completely different situation when you get your wife's permission....

Still Looking · 12-22-2011, 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkylarCruzWantsYou

Its a completely different situation when you get your wife's permission....

If your wife gives you permission to cheat, then there are already issues. At least this would not be a traditional relationship we all know as marriage. I NEVER cheated on my wife(s)! Does anyone even remember their wedding vows? I had someone tell me that cheating and lying is the same thing. One goes with the other. Interesting statement! So if you’re a cheater, you’re also a liar! Makes sense to me! But then how could you not be a liar when you’re a cheater?

To answer the OP question.... they're both bad. Either way things will go bad! I rob banks but only big banks that can afford to be robbed! That makes it OK... right! I steel things from Walmart, they can afford it! I would never steel from the lady in the apartment next door who is barely making ends meet! Your still a thief! Just saying!

charlestudor2005 · 12-22-2011, 05:57 AM

My SO wouldn't discriminate between a mistress and a provider. She'd cut my cock and balls off for either one. Then she'd take all my stuff and kick me out. I'd be in the street with no stuff and no cock and balls. Merry Christmas!

Irish Cream · 12-22-2011, 06:32 AM

Doesn't matter whether paid or not, I'd still die a brutal death..

guest031513-1 · 12-22-2011, 07:01 AM

I'd hope if I was to ever cheat on a woman she would dump me over either one. If not she'd be weak and it would never work long term.

Laz · 12-22-2011, 07:29 AM

My ex would not have cared or seen any difference. In my opinion if the wife does not know it is lying and the relationship is flawed.

Guest080212 · 12-22-2011, 08:37 AM

I don't see any difference in one or the other.
I would not want a relationship with someone I had to lie too.

Roothead · 12-22-2011, 11:56 AM

Guess you could finesse this either way... I assume there are ladies that would object to the physical aspect of the "service", along with the cost aspect (spending money on the provider for services), but who would see that it was not an emotional thing.... for the affair, you have the physical, emontional and financial aspects all involved... which I think strikes to the core issue of infidelity and how you personally define it....

My SO tells me that as long as I bring home the moola, treat her and the kiddies well and am "there" when I am home (I travel all the time) and do not embarrass her or otherwise shame our relationship, she is fine with me "doing what I have to do" it's the old case of "DADT"... and, the same goes for her.... strange through it may seem, it has worked for us for more than 16yrs

The G.O.A.T · 12-22-2011, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

My SO wouldn't discriminate between a mistress and a provider. She'd cut my cock and balls off for either one. Then she'd take all my stuff and kick me out. I'd be in the street with no stuff and no cock and balls. Merry Christmas!

Truer words have never been spoken.

atxdream · 12-22-2011, 03:49 PM

If an SO cheated on me, I would feel much more comfortable if it were with a provider. The reason being is the old adage that "she is paid to go away". It's *less likely* that she will fall in love with him, try to interfere with any other part of our relationship, or contact him outside of their arrangement. A provider also typically won't know his personal info, where he lives, etc. Most importantly, she will be much more likely to insist on coverage, so less of a chance of catching something or getting someone pregnant. I'm not saying that a mistress or one night stand would definitely do these things, I just would feel more comfortable with a provider. However, I don't think that women outside of the hobby would understand the differences I mentioned and so I believe that non-hobby providers would probably be just as hurt either way, maybe more so if she found out through legal consequences if he picked the wrong ad to respond to.