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Old 05-11-2011, 08:02 AM   #1
virginguy
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Default We have providers; what about your SO?

Hello my fellow hobby brothers.

I have been going over this for a while and decided to open this thread up to hear everyone's opinions.

As hobby lovers, most of us have a S.O. We always try to take as many precautions as possibles so that our loved ones (or SO if you will) dont find out about our fantastic hobby since it would spell DOOM to the relationship.

Now my question to you my brothers is; what would your reaction be if your spouse were to frequently visit multiple male providers!?!?!

Eager to ready your responses

~VG
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Old 05-11-2011, 08:20 AM   #2
London Rayne
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Would never be in this business if I had an SO...not my thing.

I don't think I would date someone who cheated on me with providers either. What's the point of being in a relationship? I am not into that new age swinging thing, so I won't date a guy I meet in the hobby.
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Old 05-11-2011, 09:49 AM   #3
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I'd be fine with it, we are basically in a sexless marriage, that's why I'm on this site anyway.
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Old 05-11-2011, 01:02 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BuzzKill View Post
I'd be fine with it, we are basically in a sexless marriage, that's why I'm on this site anyway.
Makes sense Buzz ..
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Old 05-11-2011, 01:32 PM   #5
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It would be fine with me. I think that female SOs should hobby as well or at least take on one or more male lovers for variety to spice up her life as well.
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Old 05-11-2011, 01:52 PM   #6
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Would work for me if SO wanted to hobby since she is not doing anything with me. Just as long as I can keep hobbying myself without any problems from her.
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Old 05-11-2011, 02:01 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by London Rayne View Post
Would never be in this business if I had an SO...not my thing.

I don't think I would date someone who cheated on me with providers either. What's the point of being in a relationship? I am not into that new age swinging thing, so I won't date a guy I meet in the hobby.
Ditto.
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Old 05-11-2011, 02:07 PM   #8
npita
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Quote:
Originally Posted by virginguy View Post
As hobby lovers, most of us have a S.O. We always try to take as many precautions as possibles so that our loved ones (or SO if you will) dont find out about our fantastic hobby since it would spell DOOM to the relationship.
My active participation in the hobby ended a little before meeting my fiancee and my fiancee never gets a headache, so hobbying doesn't cross my mind.
Quote:
Now my question to you my brothers is; what would your reaction be if your spouse were to frequently visit multiple male providers!?!?!
I wouldn't be very happy, to say the least. I might be happier than if she was having an affair, but not enough to make that distinction a consideration. I suppose that if we ever got to the point where we wanted sex, but not with each other, that I'd have no problems with quid pro quo hobbying, but I don't forsee that happening. About the only way we'd both end up seeing a provider would be if see suddenly decided she liked women and we went to the same provider together. I don't see that happening, either.
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Old 05-11-2011, 02:12 PM   #9
Ed Highlight
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Default Well, to tell you the truth...

If my SO was seeing multiple male providers, I would be outraged. You see, from what I understand, most male providers are gay and cater to gay/closeted men. That would mean my SO was a gay man and that would be a shock to me after all these years. So yes, I would be outraged!!
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Old 05-11-2011, 02:26 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by virginguy View Post
Hello my fellow hobby brothers.

I have been going over this for a while and decided to open this thread up to hear everyone's opinions.

As hobby lovers, most of us have a S.O. We always try to take as many precautions as possibles so that our loved ones (or SO if you will) dont find out about our fantastic hobby since it would spell DOOM to the relationship.

Now my question to you my brothers is; what would your reaction be if your spouse were to frequently visit multiple male providers!?!?!

Eager to ready your responses

~VG
Yes you certainly wouldn't want your SO to discover your philandering with Escorts. But in my experiences with women they know more than you think. Your SO could very well be aware of your tryst outside the marriage. The reasons why women often times don't lead on to what they know is first of all, a 20 year old Escort really isn't a threat to her. Secondly she may not love you anyway and last maybe she's having her own fun as well. So it's a perfect arrangement. I personally wouldn't engage in any sort of activity with an escort if I was married or in a serious relationship, but to each his own of course. But to think your SO is totally unaware, you would be surprised.
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Old 05-11-2011, 08:10 PM   #11
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No point in having an SO if your going to cheat on him/her. I agree with London and Naomi with being faithful to your SO. Guess I'm more of a Traditionalist.
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Old 05-11-2011, 10:13 PM   #12
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Good luck finding the 20% that don't cheat. After being in this biz, I will most likely be single forever. There is a .1% chance I find price charming who will accept an open relationship and treat me like a princess! He must also love theater and wine. Actually, a gay guy would be perfect!
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Old 05-12-2011, 12:55 AM   #13
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Well Heidi, I'm not Gay but do fall into the .1% bracket of guys!!
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Old 05-12-2011, 02:07 AM   #14
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I am surprised at "anti-cheating" views of London, Naomi and Shorty. The Hobby exists to facilitate infidelity and cheating. It is frequently said by some that participation in the Hobby saves marriages.

I can intellectually grasp the dichotomy that someone may professionally aid and abet cheating but wouldn't abide it her personal life, but it would be emotionally difficult. I mean, if you personally demand fidelity, how can you respect those who cheat? And don't we all want more respect in the hobby?

BTW, I respect everyone's opinion but dealing with these contradictions is important and complex.
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Old 05-12-2011, 05:53 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by awl4knot View Post
I am surprised at "anti-cheating" views of London, Naomi and Shorty. The Hobby exists to facilitate infidelity and cheating. It is frequently said by some that participation in the Hobby saves marriages.

They are speaking to me at least, in their personal private lives. To me there is a difference.

I can intellectually grasp the dichotomy that someone may professionally aid and abet cheating but wouldn't abide it her personal life, but it would be emotionally difficult. I mean, if you personally demand fidelity, how can you respect those who cheat? And don't we all want more respect in the hobby?

Once again, not speaking for them but most PROviders are exactly that, pro's. They have to disregard much to be successful in this business. That can include john's looks, interests, hygeine, and respect. I have always said that you don't have to respect or agree with someone to do business with them in the hobby.

BTW, I respect everyone's opinion but dealing with these contradictions is important and complex.
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