Choking

[skbinks]

How many women like Choking during sex now? I had only met one women (that I know of) a long time ago that asked me to do it and showed me how to do it correctly and she said that even my first time was done right but I was always uncomfortable doing it.

I was doing some research and they say now that at least 80% of the women like it and that you are better off just doing it as long as there is a safe word or that if she looks scared, stop immediately. You can believe everything you see on the internet, correct? LOL

Anyway.....until recently I have only been with the one women for the last 20 years. It's not that I like to do it but if so many women like it, I'm all for pleasing them if it makes it better since if it is better for her, it would probably be better for both of us.

My questions are:
Should you just wait and see if they say they want it? Should you ask if they like it? Or should you just put your hand there and see if they say something or back away before actually applying any kind of pressure?

[Elise Jolie]

I like choking.

You should ask if you want to be more straight forward. If you decide to wait then maybe gradually bring it up, some touching etc when you're together, she has to be comfy with you to let you do it...plus it is so hot anyways, she may not reject. But don't be to harsh on her neck and cause bruises. What you read about the checking reaction is right, if she is scared, discontinue.

Originally Posted by skbinks

How many women like Choking during sex now? I had only met one women (that I know of) a long time ago that asked me to do it and showed me how to do it correctly and she said that even my first time was done right but I was always uncomfortable doing it.

I was doing some research and they say now that at least 80% of the women like it and that you are better off just doing it as long as there is a safe word or that if she looks scared, stop immediately. You can believe everything you see on the internet, correct? LOL

Anyway.....until recently I have only been with the one women for the last 20 years. It's not that I like to do it but if so many women like it, I'm all for pleasing them if it makes it better since if it is better for her, it would probably be better for both of us.

My questions are:
Should you just wait and see if they say they want it? Should you ask if they like it? Or should you just put your hand there and see if they say something or back away before actually applying any kind of pressure?

[skbinks]

The Woman that taught me wanted me to do it until she passed out. I never did and told her I wouldn't because I would freak thinking I killed her.

[LuckOfTheOrient]

This may be one of those times where,
"Don't ask permission.
Ask forgiveness."
may not be the motto to follow.

Quick way to scare the day lights out of someone.

[skbinks]

Originally Posted by LuckOfTheOrient

This may be one of those times where,
"Don't ask permission.
Ask forgiveness."
may not be the motto to follow.

Quick way to scare the day lights out of someone.

That's one of the things that I would be afraid of and a reason to try and find out if it really is something most women like. I would hate to "think" she liked it, then get blackballed. I have been notified that a few like it, but it isn't something they would want to go public. Probably for safety so that someone that doesn't know how won't just try it full force but also because it is something both parties have to trust each other a lot before doing it.

So I have decided not to do it unless the women says she wants it.

[awl4knot]

There is a huge difference between erotic asphyxiation or breath control play and the almost symbolic dominance gesture of clasping a woman's neck during sex. My guess, and it is only a guess, is that maybe 80% of woman like the submissive aspect of having their necks clasped during intercourse, but far, far fewer are game for having their carotid arteries closed to create the hypoxia that increases orgasm.

I've had women tell me that they wanted to be dominated and placing a hand on their throats often does the trick, but I am still a bit nervous even with that relatively benign play.

[Charlotte Breeze]

I would not run around willy nilly doing this here. Sorry, Ted Bundy kinda ruined a lot of things :-/ lol

I would agree with Awl4Knot in regards to what most women like and think constitutes "choking". I have a girlfriend that I can make cum just from pinning her down and choking the daylights out of her, and I PROMISE you that is not normal hahaha! Most women I've met actually prefer something a lot lighter.

In most cases, gently slipping your hand around her throat and holding it is enough. Maybe while she's going down on you (hot), or in the spooning position. I obviously can't speak for everyone, but I've heard "I hate..." The most from girlfriends about having it done either from behind, or in missionary for the first time. Those are just kind of scary, easy to go wrong situations for a lot of us.

Of course, the more you know a girl, the more open she'll probably be. I do some crazy stuff with regular partners that I wouldn't trust a new person to handle. As simple and transactional as this whole thing seems like it should be, it really all does come down to individual comfort zones.

If you prefer a more direct approach, I really don't think most girls would get offended if you asked. Maybe as you're taking a breather, just toss it out there as a "what do you think?" Type of thing, and see what she says. We've all probably heard stranger, so the worst will probably be a giggle and a "no" if she's not into it :-)

[skbinks]

Originally Posted by awl4knot

There is a huge difference between erotic asphyxiation or breath control play and the almost symbolic dominance gesture of clasping a woman's neck during sex. My guess, and it is only a guess, is that maybe 80% of woman like the submissive aspect of having their necks clasped during intercourse, but far, far fewer are game for having their carotid arteries closed to create the hypoxia that increases orgasm.

I've had women tell me that they wanted to be dominated and placing a hand on their throats often does the trick, but I am still a bit nervous even with that relatively benign play.

My understanding is that asphyxiation isn't the choking I mean. Wouldn't that be cutting off the airway? I wouldn't do that to someone even if they asked me.

The way I was taught was to gently close their carotid arteries for only a count of 1 to 3 seconds at the very most unless you were both into the extreme kind and I honestly don't think I could ever do that. I know I couldn't with the one that taught me and she asked me too. I'd be to scared to.

I'm like you in that I would be nervous just having my hand there even if their was no pressure but if I trusted the women I might be able to go a little farther.

[skbinks]

Originally Posted by Charlotte Breeze

If you prefer a more direct approach, I really don't think most girls would get offended if you asked. Maybe as you're taking a breather, just toss it out there as a "what do you think?" Type of thing, and see what she says. We've all probably heard stranger, so the worst will probably be a giggle and a "no" if she's not into it :-)

Thank you Charlotte. I'm not even sure how to ask it. I am not the type of guy that is forceful to start with and would only do it if she wanted it because increasing her pleasure could possibly increase mine with her. I know, for the most part, providers are here to please the man (or woman) and some guys look at them as just some place to put their meat before going home to watch sports network, but I am the type that would always like to heighten the woman's pleasure but it seems that they don't tell you what they like, they just want to know what you like. Now, I agree that could be because I am nothing special and they aren't really attracted to me so just want to get it over or many other reasons. But honestly it really heightens my arousal if I know that I'm doing something the way she likes and so that I can really believe that she is not just going through the motions and acting.

By the sounds of everything, 80% is not really very accurate unless they meant that at least 80% "didn't" like it.

[Charlotte Breeze]

Originally Posted by skbinks

Thank you Charlotte. I'm not even sure how to ask it. I am not the type of guy that is forceful to start with and would only do it if she wanted it because increasing her pleasure could possibly increase mine with her. I know, for the most part, providers are here to please the man (or woman) and some guys look at them as just some place to put their meat before going home to watch sports network, but I am the type that would always like to heighten the woman's pleasure but it seems that they don't tell you what they like, they just want to know what you like. Now, I agree that could be because I am nothing special and they aren't really attracted to me so just want to get it over or many other reasons. But honestly it really heightens my arousal if I know that I'm doing something the way she likes and so that I can really believe that she is not just going through the motions and acting.

By the sounds of everything, 80% is not really very accurate unless they meant that at least 80% "didn't" like it.

Awww Hun, the reason we want to know what you like more than show you what we do is because we want you to have fun ;-)

Whenever I want to try something, I've found that looking at my partner with big saucer eyes, leaning in kinda close, and saying "what do you think of X..." works well. Especially if you leave the phrase tingling in the air, as if she's (he, I don't judge) is supposed to finish the thought for you. That way, it doesn't necessarily seem like something that HAS to happen, but it has been suggested enough that you can tell by their response if it's a go or not. Nervous laughter and a "suuuuure" is a way for you to know it's probably not her thing, but an "oh yeah!" Type of response is a little more of a green light. It might throw some off, but it's a good way to get an honest answer if honest enjoyment on her part is what you seek :-)

Or, you could just tell her "so, I've been thinking of this. I don't know if I like it. Do you have any experience?". That way it doesn't feel like a request that she has to fulfill necessarily, more of a curiosity. Some girls especially love to tell stories, so you might be able to get the juices flowing that way. And once again, her answers to the little bit less direct questions will tell you more than a straight out "can I choke you?" With the implied "because that's what I need to be happy" behind it that you're worried about. :-)

[BrokenWings73]

I am afraid that isn't safe...plus, there aren't many people I would trust enough not to hurt me, and I don't think it is arousing, but that is just me. Nothing WRONG with it, if it turns you on, but it would scare me too much. Sorry!

[skbinks]

Originally Posted by BrokenWings73

I am afraid that isn't safe...plus, there aren't many people I would trust enough not to hurt me, and I don't think it is arousing, but that is just me. Nothing WRONG with it, if it turns you on, but it would scare me too much. Sorry!

I guess thank goodness it doesn't turn me on, but if it did her, that might enhance my arousal.

I do really appreciate this board because we can ask these questions instead of assuming.

[hd]

I too would not engage in choking unless asked by her. I'm not by nature one who even enjoys watching it depicted on television. But it certainly has to be done by to people that are very familiar and trusting with each other.

I'll ask another question I hope the OP doesn't mind me adding, has anyone considered or done the same scenario with a gun (empty of course) or maybe a knife (rubber of course)? These shouldn't leave any bruises.

[skbinks]

Charalotte, BrokenWings, people that privately pm'd and the rest....Thank you for your input. Since the choking in itself doesn't turn me on and actually makes me a little nervous, I have decided not to even ask if they like it but could talk about it if they brought it up.

[MOCHAakaMOCHA]

Originally Posted by FurElise

I like choking.

You should ask if you want to be more straight forward. If you decide to wait then maybe gradually bring it up, some touching etc when you're together, she has to be comfy with you to let you do it...plus it is so hot anyways, she may not reject. But don't be to harsh on her neck and cause bruises. What you read about the checking reaction is right, if she is scared, discontinue.

^^^ This.