Proposed New Amendment to the US Constitution
Whereas, deniers of Global Warming (hereafter referred to as the Undeniable Truth or UT) deliberately misrepresent the settled issue of UT and ignore the fact that 73,765 out of 73,792 of the world's most preeminent, credentialed and distinguished climatologists from every country and political persuasion in the world, and in spite of the effort of every distinguished news organization to faithfully report the UT to the point only a totally ignorant, uneducated, moronic, homophobic, stupid, hateful, racist and small headed person would ignore the completely settled science, we hereby move the following:
Because no PhD in Climatology would ever be influenced by anything but the supreme truth, seeking only scientific fact and not personal grandeur or monetary gain, and because science is never influenced by politics or personal opinion, the science of the UT is now decreed to be a fact. No one may ever question it forevermore. Science is what it is - always the truth, never someone's dearly held but mistaken opinion. The UT is an irrefutable fact of nature more strongly correlated with the truth than even the existence of gravity. Because of the precedent created by The Spanish Inquisition, and because failure to combat the UT will cost trillions and trillions of dollars, we hereby propose the following punishment:
Anyone questioning this clearly established fact of UT shall be sentenced to hang by the neck until dead.
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