Waitaminute! Hypocritical?

[guest123009]

In a thread in another forum, the poster posed a situation where a father, while looking for a provider, discovered his daughter was a provider.

The OP asked:

What would you do If this was your College age Daughter? He's spent $100,00 college education for her.

One hobbyist wrote:

damn right. I dont have kids but you can be sure ill be hypocritical whenever necessary when I do. I think this is a situation where being a hypocrite should be expected.

A provider wrote:

I say for him to be a dad and beat her little ass. Who cares about being a hypocrite. I think being a dad trumps all that shit. Who cares how or where he found her, a father owes his daughter no explanation if he has a problem with anything she is doing.

Another hobbyist wrote:

You hypocritical bastards.

I kinda go with the last. Seems if you are paying or being paid for sex and condemn the daughter, then you must be ashamed of what you are doing. I can understand being secretive as society and your family most likely would condemn you. Being secretive is not the same as being ashamed. But telling your kids not to do a behavior that you participate in seems wrong.

I would approach the situation the same way that third poster above suggested:

Seems to me the adult thing to do would be to have a non-confrontational, open dialogue about her choices, how he found out, the risks, rewards and alternatives. Maybe I'm simply too logical...

Maybe I am too logical as well. Or too unconventional. I do not condemn the behavior and if my daughter felt the business was the best decision for her, I would support her.

[LatexLover]

Do you have any children FMH? I would not want that life for my daughter. Now granted the women that are on this board seem to have their shit together and don't seem to be involved in the other illicit activities that seem to plague many people that are p4p, such as drug abuse. Speaking of drug use, if i used drugs I wouldn't want my daughter to be a drug dealer either. Now I'm not insinuating that a provider and a drug dealer are in the same category, but both activities are currently illegal and that is the only similarity that I meant to imply. JMO

All parents want better for their kids than they have had. I wonder how many providers would want their children to follow into their profession. Curious....

[Introuble]

We are all (98%) hypocrites.

We would not want our daughter to be a provider due to moral issues, life style issues, family etc.

BUT YET

We are glad someone's daughter is doing it........ as long as it isn't ours?

I would say we are all just a touch hypocritical.

[OFF]

I like the thread and the situational ethics it presents. I have to be honest, I am not sure I want to ponder long enough to come up with what I would consider a suitable answer.



It gives me a headache just thinking about ... thinking about it!

OFF :-)

[ControlFreak]

Reply #1:

First how many of you have daughters?
First how many of you have daughters? I happen to have two grown daughters of which both are married, both finished college and neither became providers. I can honestly say, one of my daughters gave away $350,000.00 worth to worthless assholes. They were both raised the same way. Now I obviously asked myself the question in the past how would I handle it if either one became a stripper or provider?

Honestly, I would hope that I would be mature and intelligent enough to sit down and discuss the issue as adults. An 18 year old can go off to war; young people today are having multiple sex partners at an early age. These young ladies are more mature sexually than we want to think they are. Some are from broken families, and Dad has or has not sent them to college. I really would not prefer my daughters to choose this profession, but it sure as hell not the end of the world. If we had an intelligent discussion and I felt sure she understood totally what she has opened herself up to, while I would not jump up and cheer about it. I would be as loving and caring toward her as always. She will always be my daughter. Through sickness and in health, through good times and adversities, she first and foremost is my daughter and will always be my daughter. I will be proud of her and trust she will provide with dignity and class. No, I would not visit her as a provider, which would be a little sick.

The situation as I understand the beginning question, the father is concerned and he only knows because he is a player and wanting to get into some other Fathers 20 year old daughter thong. Hypocritical is not even close, he is a jackass. He is seeing providers regularly and it is OK for him to nail someone elses daughter because she is over 20, GIVE ME A BREAK! I can honestly say that I have met many providers and strippers that I would be proud to have any of them as my daughter. I make that statement on how they carry themselves, how professionally they are, and sweet they are. Screwing is a beautiful natural act, only in the US is it made to be dirty. If I pay a girl, and she makes me happy, she does or does not enjoy it, but has money now to do with it what she may, how is that a bad thing????? WHO IS THE VICTIM??????


Reply #2

Boo-Boo Bear and Yardape my sentiments exactly.
Boo-Boo Bear and Yardape my sentiments exactly, when I was growing up my Father's greatest fear was my sister getting knocked up or I would knock up some bodies daughter. Folks that was over 50 years ago, the world is still going around, today this is common place and nobody thinks about it. I stand by my previous statement that she is and always will be your daughter. Stand behind her and love her forever no matter what her indiscretions might be. She, as you has to live her life and learn just as we all have in our lives. I can tell you one thing for sure jumping in her shit will not stop her and it will drive her away from you. It is only common that a parent wants more for their child, but sometimes parents are wrong in trying to drive that. Is it the Fathers choice, NO, but he better accept it.

I firmly believe everything I said here

[guest041110]

I will write this: I would be the first in line with being a hypocrite. While I do not judge those who do this lifestyle, much as certain others like to think I do, as once you are an adult you are responsible for your decisions. However, in no way would I tolerate any daughter of mine doing this lifestyle just as much as I would not tolerate any SO of mine doing this lifestyle, a fact I explained to someone a couple of years ago much to her bitter disappointment.

This life is a “do as I say, not as I do” thing and, yep, I am 100% hypocritical in my view but I am not conflicted. What parent wants their children doing something as illegal as this with all of the societal negative connotations? I would venture that if a parent was A-Ok with this lifestyle for their daughter then their parental abilities are in serious doubt.

In regards to ControlFreak’s post, I have to write that jumping a child’s choice is going to drive her away from you, no doubt about it as I have seen it happen. I would hope that reason and controlled emotions would reign in the conversation that has liberal use of logic to discuss the topic at hand. I, too, have a daughter who is almost completed with college and who would never in a million years consider this line of work because of the way she was brought up by her mother, her extended family and me. She knows where her family is and what they want for her as well as she knows what she wants for herself.

But that is my view, yours may be different.

[Introuble]

I kinda go with the last. Seems if you are paying or being paid for sex and condemn the daughter, then you must be ashamed of what you are doing.

Well wouldn't any intellectually honest person say that they are ashamed of doing what society as a whole condemns? Would not most people admit some shame for being involved in extra marital relationships whether P4P or legit? I certainly am ashamed of being involved in the hobby and would suggest with no reservation that most HIDE the fact of participating due to shame.

I can understand being secretive as society and your family most likely would condemn you. Being secretive is not the same as being ashamed. But telling your kids not to do a behavior that you participate in seems wrong.

Parent smokes and tells the kid not to
Parent drinks and tells the kid not to
Parent gets knocked up at 15 and tells their 15 yr old how wrong it is
Parent is a prostitute and tells 15 yr old not to
Parent does a lot of things that they do NOT want their kid to do.

ITS CALLED BEING A PARENT and is by no means hypocritical. It is the double standard that we as parents live with as a result of wanting our kids to learn from our mistakes and have it better than we did.

Maybe I am too logical as well. Or too unconventional. I do not condemn the behavior and if my daughter felt the business was the best decision for her, I would support her.

Then I would suggest that you have failed as a parent if that is the case.

Folks, we can pretend and rationalize all we want in order to justify what the hobby is about and what it does to people. We can stick our head in the sand and tell ourselves it OK in order to justify what we are doing. Sex in and of itself is not bad, but what it does to people in and outside this hobby is wrong. Sure many participate and know no difference. But it encourages adultery and hurts innocent people whether YOU believe it is wrong or not. It takes dysfunctional women and men and facilitates even MORE dysfunctionality. It feels good, it is fun, it is a good income for many and a waste of money to others.......but it is still WRONG and is NOT hypocritical to have double standards and wish (insist) that your children are not involved in it.

To throw away your kids soul and future to simply justify OUR sick behavior is not being GOOD PARENTS. To suggest that since you do it, you should not have a problem with your daughter (or son) doing it is sick.

[foX]

.......... Not As I Do.

[guest123009]

Introuble feels that what we do here is inherently wrong and "sick behavior" and it seems many agree. Do the ladies feel the same way?

It is like a bunch of drug addicts enthusiastically discussing their experiences while also agreeing that it is a condemnable existence. I don't feel that way. I have an odd way at looking at life anyway so this is not new.

[guest040711-1]

I too fall into the Do as I say, Not as I do category. I myself deal with a sex addiction and while I'm appreciative of those women that help me feed my addiction I would not recommend the "life" to any of my children male or female.

BTW is it hypocritical to wish Better for your Children?

[ControlFreak]

First: I agree we should all try to make our children in their formative years understand right from wrong.

Second: I would not choose for my daughters to enter this profession.

Third: I always wanted more for my children than I had, and I have been very fortunate in many ways.

Fourth: I have always said that I wish I had good relationship and a happy marriage with my exwife.

Now understanding how I feel, I still think that any 20 year old can choose what they want. I also think as a parent, you should upon finding out something of this nature; an intelligent mature conversation about the risk/reward part of this profession is definitely in order. Would I have a guilt complex about her choosing this profession, probably. Would I condemn her absolutely not. Is it by my choice to hobby, yes. While I want to express, I do not see the Hobby as a dirty seedy profession. There are many very successful providers here in the Metro-Plex that have great professions outside the hobby. They happen to enjoy sex. Most Hobbyists by your own admission hobby because you want better sex, does that make you a dirty person, is your guilt of your actions making you stop playing? I don’t think so. I can’t really express upon any of you Fathers that this would not be the end of the world unless you make it such.

Another situation that comes somewhat related to this is, “What if your daughter turns up pregnant and not married? Are you going to disown her? Are you going to tell her she has to have an abortion? Are you going to make her marry the suspected father? Many of the providers have had this that made them consider the hobby. I admire their tenacity to make a home for a child, not get abortion, not live with someone they are not in love with and take on one of the most important tasks of their lives. I know providers who have done this and believe me many are wonderful mothers and love their child to death. If you mishandle this situation or anything like this, you are driving a wedge between you and your daughter that can be devastating for both of you. Guys at some point in your life a parent has to stop trying to relive their life vicariously through their child. It can be what they major in, do they really want to go to college, do they really want to marry this person and etc. This list can go on to infinity. I reiterate very simple, she is your child. You should love her no matter what decisions he or she chooses. If you drive them away because of your not allowing them to make the same mistakes you have made, you are the one who has failed not the child. Quit blaming children for your mistakes and indiscretions. Life is very fragile you never know when you will lose a loved one, try making sure every opportunity to let them know you love them.

[npita]

First of all, I do not have children. However, it's obvious that anyone who does have children also had no experience to start, so just having a couple of kids doesn't mean someone has acquired a lot of wisdom about raising them. Maybe if someone had 40 and almost all turned out to be great kids, that would mean something, but that isn't the case.

Second, my best friend is a provider. She's never let me down as a friend and I am not one of her clients. If I had a daughter like her, I'd be very happy.

[OFF]

Originally Posted by npita

So just having a couple of kids doesn't mean someone has acquired a lot of wisdom about raising them ...

Don't short parents on wisdom ... we have five children and by the time the last one moves out we will have had them in our home for 40 years. Each child is unique and each has very different wants or needs. What irks me, (no reflection on you, Npita) is when people say, "If they were my children" ... that comment alone usually tells me they have no clue.

Parents are usually experts, when it comes to their own children. Be careful, when you second guess their wisdom. They have a life time of experience with that child.

Been there ... done that ... know better.

OFF :-)

[Nebekenezer]

My reply on that thread was that if I had a daughter that chose to be a provider, I would hope that I could react the way Control Freak said he would react. But I know I probably wouldn't.

Now, I do have two little boys. Talk about hypocritical, I'm thinking of giving them each a session with a provider for their 18th birthday. Especially if I can guarantee them having as great of a time as I did yesterday with Kelly and Sydney...

[guest123009]

I was asked if I have children. I hesitated to post the answer because I have already given away too much personal information. But then again, "I have ALREADY given away too much information". So here goes.

Yes, I have two daughters in their teens. Would I want one of you guys banging her for fee? Of course not. But I have always had a certain detached view of things as if I am watching all life happen and not really being a part of it. When I say I would support them, it is because I have tremendous trust in their character and judgment. I doubt they would enter the profession as it is a really tough way to make a living (as well as being far outside the scope of their reality).

However, if they seriously told me they were considering it (and they would tell me believe it or not) I would not react emotionally. It is just not me. I would discuss their reasons, describe my experiences and perceptions, and make sure they had a very realistic view of what they were getting into... just as with any business venture.

I know that sounds odd to some of you. But I am an odd fellow. I do not take strong emotional stands and life is one big gray zone for me. It has been my experience that whenever I feel strongly that something is black and white, I am proven wrong.

Well, this has waxed philosophical and I need sleep. So night all and thanks for the great comments.