Newbie Friendly Providers - Is providing a reference part of the package?

[Camille Fox]

More than I would like to admit, this is becoming an issue around the country: I receive PMs from gents requesting appts who are fairly new to the hobby and have only one or two references. I quickly contact the lady (or ladies), just to hear *crickets*... I politely try once more by whatever means she usually makes available... NO REPLY.

These gents were newbies, looked for a newbie friendly provider so they could get established and, when time came to utilize the reference system, it failed them.

As a newbie friendly provider (although my alternative screening is not the lightest), I believe that, being reference friendly is part of the deal, unless he doesn't deserve a reference, in which case, I would still let the provider communicating with me know.


These same providers will contact me requesting references. As much as I feel like ignoring them, I do not because I do not want to punish the client.


I think providers who are not reference-friendly should have to disclose that. Kind of like a check box in the showcase. How do we keep people honest? Is it even part of the expectation?




Kindly,


Camille

[Worldtravler]

It wouldn't help any. They would just check the box that there reference friendly and still not give you or others the reference. Seems to be the trend here lately if your not friends with that provider or she thinks she might lose a client she'll go to great lengths of making sure to keep him.

[rrabbit6926]

I think if you advertise your reference friendly then your obligated to provide references for your clients even though it may be someone who hasn't responded to your request. Providing those request not only helps the clients but also you help each other by knowing who is safe.

[thatsme67003]

Or they try to charge you for a referance.... It's happened to me

[Camille Fox]

Originally Posted by thatsme67003

Or they try to charge you for a referance.... It's happened to me

What?!?

[Worldtravler]

Originally Posted by rrabbit6926

I think if you advertise your reference friendly then your obligated to provide references for your clients even though it may be someone who hasn't responded to your request. Providing those request not only helps the clients but also you help each other by knowing who is safe.

Would make things much easier, and alot less drama if it worked that way. Only if we lived in a perfect world.

[Worldtravler]

Originally Posted by thatsme67003

Or they try to charge you for a referance.... It's happened to me

Now that's pretty dam desperate.

[atlcomedy]

I'm generalizing here so don't shoot the messenger if it doesn't apply to you, but...

I think "newbie friendly" has become a euphemism for "light/lax/no screening"*

So you take a provider that does less "administrative" work to set her own dates and then expect them to go the extra mile (by providing a reference) to facilitate a date for a client with no direct benefit to her? Seems unlikely.

That's one cause. Another scenario is some providers that will provide references are selective who the provide references to. They won't send references to providers they don't know (at least by reputation) or they don't like (happens more than you think).

As someone else pointed out, having a box on the showcase won't fix the issue.

*In general lax screening is becoming more the norm. I've made this point more than once here and have yet to have anyone call me on it, but go to the eros section for any major city and call at random a bunch of indy providers and try to book an appointment for later in the day. More than half will book the appointment without discussion of screening (despite some of their ads mentioning screening). That's reality.

[Old-T]

Alt, agree with everything you said.

I don't think any lady ever has a "requirement" to provide a reference, but it is one of the better ways to help protect us all if people would use the reference process properly. Sadly too many don't. It seems more and more common that even ladies who ASK for references never CHECK them (I tend to use ladies for a reference who are also friends, and they let me know when someone follows through with a reference check).

Personally, if a lady does not ask for references (and I include P411 D-C membership as acceptable reference checking) that is usually reason enough for me NOT to see her.

I know it doesn't work for everyone, but when possible I use ladies from a different city as my references. It reduces both the potential for "loss of business jealousy" and the likelihood the two ladies will know & dislike each other. Quite honestly, I think it is also a bit impolite to tell one lady, essentially, "I really enjoyed seeing you last time, but I'd rather see XXX this time". I know it is business, but I don't stop in at one fine dining restaurant and rub it in their face that I am on my way to dine at their competition. It may be a business, but it is a very human one, and good manners of all kinds pay dividends. At least more often than not.

[Eva Damita]

I've had good luck with the reference system, but would never rely 100% on it. Many newbies I see have no references, thus they fill out my contact form COMPLETELY.

[rubytuesday]

I don't think I've ever had anyone who denied me a reference contact me for one. When a provider doesn't get back to me on my reference request, I will tell the gent asking for some of my time, that. I also tell them if they give me that provider as a reference that she doesn't give references. If the reference request if from someone I'm not sure of, I'll ask the gent if he actually contacted her. I know in the past there have been providers that pre screen without the gents knowledge.

I am newbie friendly, but he does have to jump through a few more hoops in order to see me, and the appt. won't be the same day of contact. I do make this known on my ads and website, and I will always reference him, either positive or negative. I will also get back to the provider if I don't recall him, and request more info on him. Since contacting me is by email only, it might take a bit longer for me to reply, but will be as prompt as possible.

I shouldn't have to ask you for references. You should include them with your intro email (I do encourage pre screening) or tell me at that time you don't have any.

[SA Angel]

Personally, I think being reference friendly is just good manners. I do feel bad for the newbies that see provider and then try to use that girl as a reference with no luck.

If a girl has played to her strengths and knows what she brings to the table then feeling threatened by giving a reference shouldn't even happen. To borrow from the OP..."Know Your Brand".

[Old-T]

Angel, if more people had your attitude this would be a better corner of the world. No, it would be a better world. Thank you.

[joesmo888]

P411 solves the problem all around for both parties

never had an issue using that service ever.

[JohnnyYanks]

Originally Posted by Old-T

Angel, if more people had your attitude this would be a better corner of the world. No, it would be a better world. Thank you.

I'd say, What a suck-up! except

it's Old-T, and
I agree.