Coming Clean

[GOJC]

Anyone wish they could just be open with friends, family, and colleagues about their lifestyle?

I am curious, is the critical thinking involved to keep this life a secret play a bigger role than acknowledged among the community?

I think of the show Big Love and how the main character and his original wife had to sneak off to get some alone time for bonding. It leads me to believe that people (men in particular) enjoy the planning probably even more than the execution.

A hypothetical close- A man has no lack of money and can afford to hobby literally every day of the year. This same man has an ample amount of time to execute throughout the course of said year. Why does that man only see an average of 1-2 providers a month?

[pyramider]

Nope, being open about the hobby never crossed my mind.


To answer your question: no one has unlimited time. Family, job, friends, other hobbies, etc chew up time.

[Wakeup]

The question you need to ask is, "Do I need to conceal what I do from anyone?"

If you come up with a reason not to tell them, then quit hobbying...

[jwood]

No I don't want to come clean. I've never even meet another guy that hobbies.

[SA Angel]

I think that's why I love to meet other providers. I can't go home and complain to my roommate about how long the valet took or the fact that CVS was out of the big packs of condoms.

I will say I respect Wakeup's take on it. I'll admit I'm a sheep, fearful of being disowned and ostracized from my family and friends respectively because I'd rather see clients on my terms and eschew boyfriends completely.

[JayceeRivers]

I came clean with family and friends myself. I lost a good portion due to my honesty. However the idea of coming up with constant lies was both exhausting and left a certain dry taste on my tongue I didn't like.

I do not regret my honesty. It was my choice to make to enter into this world. I enjoy physical and mental stimulation. That being said I did pay a high price for this choice so it is not one to be made lightly.

[Grizzly]

I came clean and it did cause some troubles with certain family members because of their personal beliefs. I also lost a few friends but gained new ones through this lifestyle.

Like Jaycee I enjoy the mental and physical stimulation and the company of smart intellectual beautiful women.

i chose to enter into this lifestyle and do regret it. I am more at peace now having come clean.

[Ed Highlight]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

The question you need to ask is, "Do I need to conceal what I do from anyone?"

If you come up with a reason not to tell them, then quit hobbying...

I agree with Wakeup (can't believe I said that) - If you are having overwhelming guilt from concealing your activities, and feel you must unburden yourself.....quit!! No good can come from "coming clean".

[Wakeup]

It's always funny to see how people misinterpret what I post...

[GOJC]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

It's always funny to see how people misinterpret what I post...

Would you do us the honor of letting us know what you meant, I sincerely would hate it if the meaning of each person that took the time to post was lost?

[thebuffmantraples]

Originally Posted by GOJC

Would you do us the honor of letting us know what you meant, I sincerely would hate it if the meaning of each person that took the time to post was lost?

You need to take anything " Wakeup" with a tiny little(about a lb or more) pinch of salt over the shoulder at all times!

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by Ed Highlight

I agree with Wakeup (can't believe I said that) - If you are having overwhelming guilt from concealing your activities, and feel you must unburden yourself.....quit!! No good can come from "coming clean".

I agree, I someone has "overwhelming guilt" then they need to do something about it. Quitting is one option, but for others opening up MAY be the right thing. It all depends upon the person's situation, what they really value, and probably a few more.

But I do not think that is what WU was professing. He is being quite literal.

Originally Posted by Wakeup

The question you need to ask is, "Do I need to conceal what I do from anyone?"

If you come up with a reason not to tell them, then quit hobbying...

In his world he means just that. Any guy here should tell his wife/SO.

They should also tell their boss, whether she will fire him or not.

Next stop should be the local police station and self identify.

And the ultimate stage of enlightened unconcealment would be to post here under their own real name.

Failing all these he believes they are a moral degenerate unless they quit.

Interesting how very few here have yet to reach that stage of enlightenment, including him.

Originally Posted by Grizzly

I came clean and it did cause some troubles with certain family members because of their personal beliefs. I also lost a few friends but gained new ones through this lifestyle.

Like Jaycee I enjoy the mental and physical stimulation and the company of smart intellectual beautiful women.

i chose to enter into this lifestyle and do regret it. I am more at peace now having come clean.

And I go back to my initial point: each person needs to evaluate their situation, the people around them, the things they want, value, need, are willing to forgo, etc. Then they need to make the choice they think is best for them. People here can provide advice, can share what they did and how it did/did not work out. But ultimately very few of us have walked in the others shoes.

[Bijou Neko]

I have never concealed this part of my life from friends... but then most of my friends are pretty non-mainstream people. As for my family, my brother and 3 cousins who I am close to know. I don't tell my elders because they would worry about me, and I have already caused them more than enough worry in this life. If they found out, they wouldn't disown me or anything- my family just isn't like that. But they definitely wouldn't be happy about it.

[Zhivago52]

Er....NO. Not even close. I enjoy having a secret life.

[gigi_gypsy]

I've told a few friends and lost some over it, but it made the bond stronger with the ones that accept me. I still haven't told family, but since my parents recently passed away - if my family finds out, I am not worried too much anymore.

I watched a show once where a young lady "came out" to her Grandma about being gay. The Grandma wasn't mad about her sexual orientation - she was pissed because she was making people deal with something that they might not want to hear or can handle.

This is why I don't tell everyone - they may not be able to handle it or want to deal with the knowledge. I figure if they ask, they I'll tell them.