Gossip: Why do we do it?

[Dharma]

We have an interesting and unique community here. We also have a real need for privacy and secrecy but we rarely keep the juicy details to ourselves. I was just almost sucked into a subject I really don't care about and had to brake check myself.

Why do we gossip about, well, everything? Is there a certain provider/type of provider that you just can't get enough info about? Do you like to be the first with new intel? What's the deal?

[vnurse]

Dharma, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about because I almost did the same exact thing...I started to type and stepped back and walked away...it is no concern of mine one way or the other.

I think that deep down inside, "we" have something in "us" that wants to see train wrecks/drama/whatever you want to call it involving other people because it makes us feel better about ourselves. I'm no shrink but I KNOW a lot of 'em...I'll have to ask and post more later.

Myself, I don't MIND hearing stories but I really don't like to be involved in spreading gossip. My poor little life is so mundane that gossip can do a couple of things...it can make me feel better about myself or it can take my focus off my problems for a little while.

I think some people like to gossip because they (deep down inside) may feel smarter, like they "know" something (?)...maybe? Hell, I don't know!

GREAT question girlie! You so smart!

[YSD]

Dharma wrote,"I think some people like to gossip because they (deep down inside) may feel smarter, like they "know" something (?)...maybe? Hell, I don't know!"

I think it is because of lack of self confidence and or lack of self esteem. One gossips because they feel insecure and uncertain about themselves. Honest to God, I hardly gossip because I know it will always come back to bite me in the ass.

That is why it is harsh sometimes,but I won't say anything behind someone's back that I won't say to their face. Not sure if it always is right based on the many times I have gotten my head smacked but at least I don't have to remember exactly what it is I said.

Lastly, this is such an interesting topic and I am fascinated by it. I have a 28 year old son who is a toot and a half as well as a major piece of work, but I am most proud of him because in all these years I have NEVER heard him gossip about anyone. It's not that I think he is so great, because as I alluded to, he was certainly a major handful in his prime days. But whenever I reflect on my kids that is the trait that I am most proud of. The same cannot be said for his dad, but for him this is so.

[chipper]

I quit visiting with one Lady just because she was always pumping me for information about people and situations.

[Dharma]

originally posted by Jericho99

Dharma wrote,"I think some people like to gossip because they (deep down inside) may feel smarter, like they "know" something (?)...maybe? Hell, I don't know!"

Sorry, I didn't say that.

Chipper, I know what you mean. I've had clients that did that very thing. That is, they not only gossip more than a room full of old women, they want the scoop on whoever they can get. I'm just not a person to carry tales and I'd rather focus on my own life. It needs all the attention I can give it.

I think we gossip for a variety of reasons. When we get older we lose alot of the stimulation in life, that we had when we were younger. I think we gossip then because we can capture some of that excitement we used to get from living life a little louder.

I like a nice, quiet, uneventful life. When I want chaos and mayhem, I know where it can be found.

VNurse, compliments will get you everywhere! It's interesting, to me, how we all have a different "take" on the issue at hand. I wonder if we gossip for different reasons, at different times/stages of our lives or if we're all pretty much the same. There have been a few different ideas put forth here. Vastly different. Thanks, keep 'em coming!

[YSD]

I need to make an ammendment on my last post:
vnurse wrote,"I think some people like to gossip because they (deep down inside) may feel smarter, like they "know" something (?)...maybe? Hell, I don't know!"

[guest041110]

Frankly, I have never understood the need some people have for gossip. If you don’t know the facts then don’t discuss it. I don’t do it and like Jericho wrote, I also feel if you participate in gossip, it does come back to bite you in the ass. I don’t necessarily mind hearing stories, to a limited point from someone I trust, but I won’t continue the storyline as I view those items an FYI for my consumption only.

Like Dharma wrote, I like the nice, quiet life that I have now by being by myself. IF I were to want the strange of mischief, mayhem and just plain trouble, I know where THAT can be found since she lives less than 3 miles from me.

As far as why people gossip, I have always thought it was a combination of items that the gossiper had that are comprised of a) low self esteem, b) envy (jealousy) of others and what they are perceived to have that the one gossiping does not have as well as c) a lack of something intelligent to say either about themselves or life in general and d) that they want drama because their life is lacking. In other words, they are just filling space by wasting air with their talking. A provider I knew years ago always claimed to be funny as hell and charming, etc. but was one of the biggest gossipers you could ever meet. In her case, the items I listed above apply.

Well with a friend I trust - I love sharing stupid things. Girls talk about everything....that is the way it is. But, usually even that is done in good spirits.

However, as it relates to BS in public about other men or women I will not take part in it if its of a negative nature. It just doesn't make sense and it is just not fair. If someone ask my opinion I will give it to them, but, it is nothing more than my opinion. I have talked in generals without using specific names about one thing or another but I'd never talk smack directly about another specific person in public.

I found out when I was much younger that saying bad things about people that hurt them only comes back to haunt me. I learned those lessons the hard way -

[safire_sweet]

i used to like it...but as i "grew up'' in this hobby,and got my own 'life' i see it as nothing but a whole bunch of people who do not have a life.just like the comments on reviews tat some sites may have ....if you do not know wy are acting like you do...?


good thread =>
safire sweet

[Pistol Man]

I find gossip fascinating.

I participate in gossip very much like the parish priest; folks tell me a lot of things that just get filed away! I don't know if it is my personality or quiet calm demeanor or the perfection of the art of invisibility in a crowd or the training in the intelligence business at great expense to the American taxpayer in a long ago former life but I seem to know more secrets about more people than I care to contemplate.

I just don't have the need or desire to tell anyone else. Guess that is why many folks consider me just that dull accountant and keep talking to me!! So feel free to unload on the old Pistol Man-it will be a great catharsis for you and it will go no further. Just like a psychiatrist - only less expensive!!

And please not in the middle of DATY! Yes, that will take the startch out of my ego!

Pistol Man

[vnurse]

Pistol Man...I know what you mean. People have ALWAYS told me stuff! I guess I have a face that says tell me everything. Even in line at the grocery store folks have told me their family and/or medical stories, etc, etc.

Are you SERIOUS?! In the middle of DATY?! OMG! the VERY last thing that's going to come out of My mouth during DATY is GOSSIP!!! LOL!

[steverino50]

Originally Posted by vnurse

Are you SERIOUS?! In the middle of DATY?! OMG! the VERY last thing that's going to come out of My mouth during DATY is GOSSIP!!! LOL!

I bet what ever comes out.....is the truth!

[Dharma]

O.K., so if we're not gossiping, then who is? Everyone else? Pistolman, in the middle of DATY? I would think your tongue is far too distracting for coherent thought much less forming more than one word sentences ( Fuck! Damn! Yes!).


w00t! I'm under Steverino! Hmmmm... and VNurse is on top of Steverino... That could only mean that V and I are having a Steverino Sandwich! Woo-hoo!!!

[vnurse]

Steverino will be one happy camper now!!!

And yes, darlin'...what comes out of my mouth IS the truth! You got THAT right!

[Pistol Man]

Yes, I used to see a lady who would start telling me her troubles at the oddest times. I no longer see her!!

Pistol Man