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Guest053011 · 03-07-2010, 12:48 AM

Ever give someone a deeply sentimental gift, and then a while after the relationship ended, wish you could go and retrieve it?

Not that I'd dare, but the thought just crossed my mind.

Fast Gunn · 03-07-2010, 12:56 AM

Yes, I gave someone a carefully selected and expensive gift and lived to regret it.

It's one thing if the recipient treasures the gift or at least cares for it in some minimal fashion.

But it's quite something else if she just blithely gives it away to someone else or loses it without a care or concern for its value or by extension, you.

Take care of what you give to whom and why.

discreetgent · 03-07-2010, 01:01 AM

The answer to the initial query is no. Philosophically: a gift should be freely given or not at all

Guest053011 · 03-07-2010, 01:07 AM

It wasn't a gift of value. In fact it was worthless, a common item.

However, the act of giving it was symbolic. I realize now it should have never been given.

Fast Gunn · 03-07-2010, 01:10 AM

You are right.

A gift should be freely given without expecting anything in return.

Still in your heart of hearts you wonder how your gift was actually received.

If you discover that it was trampled under foot then you would be a fool to give that person another gift.

If however, you discover that the gift was treasured then you are more inclined to give her an even better gift.

Fast Gunn · 03-07-2010, 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

It wasn't a gift of value. In fact it was worthless, a common item.

However, the act of giving it was symbolic. I realize now it should have never been given.

What did you give him?

Would you care to tell us?

discreetgent · 03-07-2010, 01:12 AM

True, it would certainly be something I would consider for a future gift.

Guest053011 · 03-07-2010, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

What did you give him?

Would you care to tell us?

A strand of hair, given on the Vernal Equinox. An ancient Eastern European tradition. It was once believed by the farmers in the villages who still practiced folk magic that giving someone a strand of your hair gave them power over your soul. So when you did this on the Vernal Equinox, it was an expression of complete trust and love.

I've done this with very few people, and with the others I did not regret it. I regret this one person though. It just randomly popped into my mind and we haven't spoken in a long while. I'd entirely forgotten I'd given it to him. For some reason I hate the thought that he might still keep it. I hope he threw it out.

guest041110 · 03-07-2010, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by discreetgent

The answer to the initial query is no. Philosophically: a gift should be freely given or not at all

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

It wasn't a gift of value. In fact it was worthless, a common item.

However, the act of giving it was symbolic. I realize now it should have never been given.

While I agree with DG on this, to answer your question Lauren, yes, I have given someone something that was very valuable to me but she could have cared less about it which is something I found out too late. In most people's eyes, it was nothing of value but to me it was a pearl of great price since I have so few of them. I wish I could get it back from her but I have not spoken to that person in a good long time and I don't plan to start now.

TexTushHog · 03-07-2010, 02:29 AM

A house and half of my retirement savings. But other than that, no.

pjorourke · 03-07-2010, 07:48 AM

Cynic!

WTF · 03-07-2010, 08:24 AM

Anything given that has the possibilities of regret because some expectation was not met is not a gift...it is a business decision. Albeit a bad one.

Iceman · 03-07-2010, 08:34 AM

Nope. Once given, it's theirs to do with as they please.

Now what they do with it can give you some insight into what the relationship is or isn't.

charlestudor2005 · 03-07-2010, 08:52 AM

Does it tear at your heart strings more if you're in a romantic relationship?

I know how I reacted to my ex-wife when I found out I was cuckolded by my (then) best friend. I never forgave her taking my love and trust and trashing it ever so publicly. I hated him, too, but not nearly as much as the ex.

When my father died, she sent a sympathy card, which I trashed.

My only consolation: she desperately wanted children; they never had any. Thought she got what she deserved.

WTF · 03-07-2010, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

A strand of hair. . .

. . . I hope he threw it out.

The medical term is, trichobezoar.

:vomi t3: