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10-13-2012, 09:17 PM
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#1
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Account Disabled
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Funny Things Heard BCD
I think most of us can agree that it's best to not take yourself too seriously, and the number one place I've found that to be true is in the bedroom.  In the interest of stirring up some quotable quotes, I'll start off with a few of my favorites - tongue FIRMLY in cheek.
RG: That was the best blowjob I've ever had in my life.
CF: Really?
RG: Hell yeah, you sucked my brains out through my dick!
CF: *lol*
...
CF: Holy God, that's a lot of cum!
RG: Uh...
CF: That's not a pearl necklace, that's a freaking pearl VEST.
RG: *lol*
...
Okay, I know I'm not the only one, let's have some fun with this!
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Quote
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10-14-2012, 06:20 AM
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#2
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Jan 5, 2010
Posts: 25,367
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What's the Square Root of 69?
8 Something..................... .....!
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10-14-2012, 07:26 AM
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#3
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Premium Access
Join Date: Jan 15, 2012
Location: Not where I wanna be
Posts: 20,935
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^^^^^^
8.3066239
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10-14-2012, 09:37 AM
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#4
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Account Disabled
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No thread killing, DG! I'm absolutely serious about lack of seriousness!
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10-14-2012, 10:24 AM
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#5
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Mar 29, 2009
Location: Houston
Posts: 995
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That is one hot avatar photo, Vixen. Seriously.
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10-14-2012, 11:13 AM
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#6
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Upgraded Female Account
User ID: 24680
Join Date: Apr 29, 2010
Location: North Little Rock,Ar
Posts: 12,598
My ECCIE Reviews
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%*&$% *@%*!... I haven't cum like that in years!!! Now what was your name?
.
..
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Quote
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10-14-2012, 11:13 AM
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#7
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Account Disabled
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 Aww, shucks, NorthWood, that's just me in a bathroom, nothing special.
Okay, back on topic! This is not a threAD, I really want some funny sex quotes, people! Aaaaaaaaaand - GO!!!
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10-14-2012, 11:28 AM
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#8
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Mar 26, 2009
Location: HTown
Posts: 3,540
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A waitress in a caberrett introduced me to a dancer who purportedly gave an awesome bbbj, so off to the back we go.
She is on her knees when her phone rings:
Dancer: ( with mydick in her mouth) just giving this guy a blow job.
I don't know, I'll ask. Hey babe, what's your name?
CB: (standing up). I'm gone.
Dancer ( to caller). Gone something, strange name.
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10-14-2012, 02:00 PM
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#9
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Valerie's Mod Husband
Join Date: Dec 13, 2010
Location: Houston
Posts: 28,030
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"No baby, I don't want to go to the theatre"
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10-14-2012, 06:18 PM
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#10
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Aug 5, 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 339
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Said by a really newbie providor after doing a little, very little, ball licking while I jack off and cum.
"Wow, I am a real freak!"
Yeah, i know the jokes on me.
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10-14-2012, 09:45 PM
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#11
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DarkSide MOD
Join Date: Jan 3, 2010
Location: South Of Pearland
Posts: 9,412
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Provider: "Sucking your cock is making my eyes tear up.."
Me: "I have tears in my eyes too!" 
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10-14-2012, 10:13 PM
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#12
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Aug 15, 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,785
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Provider: That thing is huge
Me: where are your glasses?
Provider: no really that thing is huge, it gets bigger every time I see it, you taking pills or something?
Me: I did not know they had pills for that.
Her: yes they do
Me: where can I get them?
( I was telling her what a good job she was doing there, so I guess she needed to compliment me..... I am far from having a big dick)
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10-14-2012, 10:33 PM
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#13
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Retired Irish Tart
User ID: 3552
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Secluded in the deep, dark, spooky woods at the Irish Chihuahua Refuge.
Posts: 9,804
My ECCIE Reviews
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While beginning a BJ, a fellow asked, "Had a lot of practice with that Hoover, have you?"
My mumbled reply was, "Would you like me to show you what I can do with a broom?"
"Noooooooo," he said, "Just keep vacuuming."
I wanted to retort (but didn't), "Next time, dude, shampoo your carpet first."
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10-14-2012, 10:55 PM
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#14
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jun 22, 2012
Location: Houston
Posts: 2,292
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Ready to part the Red Sea Moses?
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10-14-2012, 11:14 PM
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#15
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 26, 2010
Location: SE TX
Posts: 420
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OMG, what are you hitting? No ones ever hit that spot before.
I found the secret spot!
Shut up, I'm going to cum...............again.
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