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Guest030817 · 09-11-2015, 10:09 PM

What's UP KC..it's a little quiet around here.

I want to give a warm KC welcome to Gemma and any other visiting friends. I don't personally know Gemma, and even though I have been one of her targets on the boards, I have to say that I really respect her. She brings a lot to the community. Tough as she may seem (we have not met) she is a truly beautiful person IMHO.

She has emailed me apologies and praises and we have spoken on the phone several times. What I like is that regardless of if she likes you or not, she keeps it real. Those of us that have been through a lot often develop a hard edge persona which is our way of trying to not get hurt. I speak from personal experience.

My hopes for our community:

We should only compete with ourselves. This helps us constantly improve who we are vs. wasting our energy on who we are not and what someone else is. When I tour, I don't even look at who else is advertising along with me, it's irrelevant to me.. If you don't know about the "Law of Attraction," watch "The Secret" on Netflix or elsewhere.
We are a fairly small community that should stay tight, not fight.
No matter where we go, there we will be...so don't avoid people or issues, clear the head trash and direct them head on.
This is a hobby, hobbies are supposed to be fun, not drama and stress.
No client is "YOURS." First of all, many of them are committed to someone else in their real life. Second, this should be a free flowing environment where we encourage one another to see legit and reputable providers and clients.. Anyone who has seen me is more than welcome to ask me who I would recommend that they meet and I will be happy to refer. Men don't like feeling restricted. Don't do it to them, every other woman in their life probably does.
If you need help, ASK! I would recommend privately. I have personally met most of the men who have VOLUNTEERED their time to moderating. All of them would do what they could in terms of your safety or recommended resources to help you.
YOU are enough. No matter who you are... you are enough. Look into meditation and mindfulness training. It has changed my life. There are tons of free apps for guided meditation, which is a great way to start.

Final thought.....from Bob Marley, "Love is My Religion....You can take it or leave it, you don't have to believe it."

SexyKaylen · 09-11-2015, 10:39 PM

Great thread Ari. You for sure are one sweet lady and thank you for that. Welcome Gemma.

Emmie · 09-11-2015, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ari816

What's UP KC..it's a little quiet around here.

I want to give a warm KC welcome to Gemma and any other visiting friends. I don't personally know Gemma, and even though I have been one of her targets on the boards, I have to say that I really respect her. She brings a lot to the community. Tough as she may seem (we have not met) she is a truly beautiful person IMHO.

She has emailed me apologies and praises and we have spoken on the phone several times. What I like is that regardless of if she likes you or not, she keeps it real. Those of us that have been through a lot often develop a hard edge persona which is our way of trying to not get hurt. I speak from personal experience.

My hopes for our community:

We should only compete with ourselves. This helps us constantly improve who we are vs. wasting our energy on who we are not and what someone else is. When I tour, I don't even look at who else is advertising along with me, it's irrelevant to me.. If you don't know about the "Law of Attraction," watch "The Secret" on Netflix or elsewhere.
We are a fairly small community that should stay tight, not fight.
No matter where we go, there we will be...so don't avoid people or issues, clear the head trash and direct them head on.
This is a hobby, hobbies are supposed to be fun, not drama and stress.
No client is "YOURS." First of all, many of them are committed to someone else in their real life. Second, this should be a free flowing environment where we encourage one another to see legit and reputable providers and clients.. Anyone who has seen me is more than welcome to ask me who I would recommend that they meet and I will be happy to refer. Men don't like feeling restricted. Don't do it to them, every other woman in their life probably does.
If you need help, ASK! I would recommend privately. I have personally met most of the men who have VOLUNTEERED their time to moderating. All of them would do what they could in terms of your safety or recommended resources to help you.
YOU are enough. No matter who you are... you are enough. Look into meditation and mindfulness training. It has changed my life. There are tons of free apps for guided meditation, which is a great way to start.

Final thought.....from Bob Marley, "Love is My Religion....You can take it or leave it, you don't have to believe it."

Amen Ari!!!! I believe we had this conversation. (:

Guest030817 · 09-11-2015, 11:09 PM

Thanks ladies. I wanted the gents to know how it should go as well. I have never met Kaylen or Emmie but have known both of them online for quite awhile. They are both supportive of other providers and giving references, and reputable.

Speaking of reputable, when you try to destroy someone else, you will ultimately destroy yourself. You know who you are.

Hate is an ugly trait. From a psychological standpoint, when you have a huge issue with what someone else does, it's usually because of something that is wrong with you. In other words, the things you feel strongly critical about others, is due to something from your past. On the flip side, when someone is critical of you, it is likely due to some past issue they have not addressed, so don't take it on.

Stay in your own backyard. Worry about your own shit, not others.

BigDeal · 09-11-2015, 11:33 PM

Ari is truly one of the true professionals left in the business!!

When she chimes in its best to listen!

Roboz · 09-11-2015, 11:59 PM

Well said Ari.

Guest030817 · 09-12-2015, 02:21 AM

I just wrote a long ass post and lost it. Thank you guys for carrying the positive vibe.

I fully expect trolls to rant about a Kumbuya post. I stopped posting for a long time due to everything said turning into a negative, bitchy or hateful conversation.

I can literally post about it being a beautiful day amd it turns into, "we hate you bitch, fly away on your private plane."

Negative=Negative

I am on boards in other cities who will not allow all the bitching. Yes, MEN, when you get on here and go at it with a girl, you immediately fall into the douchebag category. WOMEN, guys hate drama. Don't throw your bs on the boards, handle it privately, because no matter what the truth is....YOU come out in the end as being drama. I learned this from the wisdom of my beloved Scorpio, years back. If you engage in public drama, you hurt yourself more than anyone.

Love & Light!

BirdogKC60 · 09-12-2015, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ari816

Love & Light!

Well said

Guest013121 · 09-12-2015, 06:47 AM

Aw thanks Ari! I have more to say but these kc boys like to play hard! Keeping me busy.. Just wanted to say real quick-- thank you. You're a very special person that does help bring positivity to others lives-- complete strangers, fellow hobbyists... Whoever. What a great grift to have!!

Kisses!!

algrace · 09-12-2015, 07:26 AM

I concur with the entirety of your hopes for our community. I'll add to it a hope for your continued success & availability for gentlemen who wish to see you.

These kinds of expressions are one reason Ari has so many mentions as ATF and/or top experiences.

Flybynight68 · 09-12-2015, 01:35 PM

Ari

Great post. Some of the men here have been helpful to a nube like me offering suggestions and direction. But I have been surprised by how many have such negative perspective. Its almost as if there is some secret handshake of which I am ignorant.

I have posted on the Dallas boards with none of this negativity and LOTS of good advice. I suspect the size of the Dallas community allows for more diversity therefore making it less likely people feel the need to condemn or criticize the activities of others on the board.

Thanks for the reminder and urging for positive!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ari816

I am on boards in other cities who will not allow all the bitching. Yes, MEN, when you get on here and go at it with a girl, you immediately fall into the douchebag category. WOMEN, guys hate drama. Don't throw your bs on the boards, handle it privately, because no matter what the truth is....YOU come out in the end as being drama. I learned this from the wisdom of my beloved Scorpio, years back. If you engage in public drama, you hurt yourself more than anyone.

Love & Light!

bartipero · 09-13-2015, 09:11 PM

Personally, I'm a graduate of several 12 Step programs and handle it by looking at myself in the mirror and repeating, "I'm good enough, strong enough and doggone it, I like me." It worked for Michael Jordon and it will work for you, too.

Now seriously, ladies I really like your contributions here. Ala George Burns, I wish I was 16 again; but on the other hand, if the Internet existed then as it does now, I would either have written the most brilliant term papers or never graduated due to surfing the net--and other, ahem, "things.". Thanks for the input and education.

Ms.Lady Y · 09-22-2015, 02:50 AM

Love it.
Thanks

Guest013121 · 09-22-2015, 06:40 AM

Btw Ari-- Yellowtail wine has always been a favorite of mine. Often, I wake up the next morning in strange places. ...Kitchen table, bathroom floor, laundry room, Ari's bed....

LOL!

BirdogKC60 · 09-22-2015, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemma34

Btw Ari-- Yellowtail wine has always been a favorite of mine. Often, I wake up the next morning in strange places. ...Kitchen table, bathroom floor, laundry room, Ari's bed....

LOL!

You sound a little bit like "Mary" but I hear she falls off the bed a lot.