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Seeker · 07-07-2013, 10:15 PM

I've never quite figured this out. Conservatives have no sense of humor. Why is this? There's a slew of comedians who regularly make fun of the the tea-party and their ilk. You know them all... Moore, Mahler, Black, Rock, Stewart, et al. Come on guys, even Hitler could tell a joke now and then. Maybe it's because the jokes are so easy, I don't know. It may be my next career. Dick Cheney should have been dead five times and he has still not lightened up.

CJ7 · 07-07-2013, 10:24 PM

I'm pretty sure you need an IQ to have a sense of humor

rocks don't laugh much.

JD Barleycorn · 07-08-2013, 01:19 AM

Dennis Miller versus Jim Carrey

One is funny, intelligent, and knows the issues...the other is a Canadian.

Guest040616 · 07-08-2013, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJ7

I'm pretty sure you need an IQ to have a sense of humor

rocks don't laugh much.

Not to mention, they also would need some "sense."

Strike 3, they're out!

Yssup Rider · 07-08-2013, 11:44 PM

WTF does that even mean BSwine?

Have you ever considered standup?

If so, then get off your knees, standup and GTF Outta Here!

(I know, you probably fail to see the humor in that, too...)

i'va biggen · 07-09-2013, 06:57 AM

Most have their heads up their ass so the laughter echo's.

gnadfly · 07-09-2013, 07:47 PM

Seeker,

If a "conservative" told a slightly off color, slightly racial, slightly misogynistic joke that say a Bill Mayer would tell, that "conservative" would blacklisted by whatever media outlet they had a regular contract with. Mainly because that media outlet would be deluged by "humerous" libtards who complaining about the joke the "conservative" told.

CJ7 · 07-09-2013, 07:53 PM

Stewart does it all the time, and 99.9999% of the time its just as funny when he jokes about the right

a joke is a joke, if its funny its funny

IIFFOFRDB · 07-09-2013, 08:07 PM

by Nifty Nick

A guy is visiting San Francisco, and walks into a small store in Chinatown.

He notices a small bronze statue of a rat.

He asks the owner "how much", and the owner replies "$50 for the bronze rat, and $1000 for the story behind it."

The guy says, "forget the story", and buys the rat.

As he's walking down the street he notices two live rats following him. As he continues to walk, more rats start following him.

He starts to get a little concerned, and heads for the waterfront. By the time he gets there there are thousands and thousands of rats following him.

He walks up to the end of the pier and throws the bronze rat into the bay, and the rats all follow and leap off of the pier and drown.

The guy rushes back to the store and walks in. The owner says, "Ah!, so your back for the story".

The guys says, "No, I was wondering if you have any bronze liberals?"

IIFFOFRDB · 07-09-2013, 08:11 PM

Posted by Nifty Nick Tuesday, December 8, 2009
comments (0)
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together,
but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.

The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, a perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

He said, "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"

IIFFOFRDB · 07-09-2013, 08:15 PM

Posted by Nifty Nick
comments (0)
Q. Why did Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he was running out of George Bush jokes.

Q. Why did David Letterman vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he was running out of Jay Leno's George Bush jokes.

IIFFOFRDB · 07-09-2013, 08:16 PM

Posted by Nifty Nick
comments (0)
Just wanted to let you know I received my Obama stimulus package in the mail this morning. It contained watermelon seeds, cornbread mix and ten coupons to KFC. The directions were in Spanish.

IIFFOFRDB · 07-09-2013, 08:16 PM

Posted by Nifty Nick
comments (0)
A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.

The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this; "Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Plymouths, and I voted for Obama."

IIFFOFRDB · 07-09-2013, 08:17 PM

Posted by Nifty Nick Monday, September 21, 2009
comments (0)
Four doctors were sitting around chatting.

The French doctor says:
Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.

The German doctor says:
That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

The Russian soctor says:
In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.

The American doctor, not to be outdone, says:
You guys are way behind - we recently took a man with no brains out of Illinois, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work.

IIFFOFRDB · 07-09-2013, 08:18 PM

Posted by Nifty Nick Wednesday, September 9, 2009
comments (0)
A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"

The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."

The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had.

The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"

The man answered "oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the theory of relativity, inter-steller space travel, the latest medical break throughs, etc.

The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Martini please."

Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"

This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend.

The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool. Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ??"

This time the man drawled out "Uh, 'bout 50."

The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked,

"A-r-e y-o-u s-t-i-l-l g-l-a-d y-o-u v-o-t-e-d f-o-r O-B-A-M-A?"