In what way does a lady screening make it any "safer" for a guy to see her?

[Whispers]

In another thread the following comment was made......

Originally Posted by JennsLolli

It's been stated that it's possible to see providers who don't screen. (Although why someone would trust such a girl to be as safe as those who do screen is surprising to me.)

And it's possible to see providers who think that "review count" indicates that a gent is safe to see or a good fit for them. Just as high prices weed out some of the available grounds of boobies to graze upon, so shall screening methods.

I learned a long time ago that if you are spending money and know a few things you can see anyone you want to and anyone you DON'T want to see becomes a critic. I decided it did not matter to me what anyone that has not met me thinks so I simply post here what I believe in. I don't believe in screening.

I went to Socials pretty regularly and simply never HAD to provide screening information. There was no shortage of available talent that had no problems determining I was legit.

Along the way I had let a lady know a little too much about me and a jealous suitor outed me to my wife and she read over 300 reviews I had written/published and saw hundreds of pictures before actually confronting me.

Over the years since then I have continued to see ladies in a variety of manners avoiding their stated desire to screen. here has never been a shortage of ladies to see. I don't think there will ever be one.

The only thing that has EVER impacted my ability to get laid is the amount of time I have to pursue someone or the amount of available cash in my pocket.

Over these 14 years on these sites I have known ladies that got arrested, ladies that got arrested multiple times, ladies that have got hurt, ladies that got pregnant, ladies that contracted diseases and a couple of ladies that have passed away. In just about every case those ladies practiced some sort of screening.

I have also known guys that have been blackmailed, extorted, outed, been exposed to disease, been NCNS'd, shortchanged, mugged, beat and flat out robbed.... I knew one guy that got ass raped by bitch wearing a strap-on with her pimp watching because the guy tried to help her "get out"....

Because of the amount of REAL information that is censured and kept from the masses, only a small core of any of these communities EVER really knows who is safe and who is not....

In 14 years what I have never really seen is a solid argument on how Your Screening makes it Safer for us to see you.

IMO Screening ONLY provides a lady with a false sense of security while a guy puts himself, his family, his career and his future at risk. I think it is very fair to say that both guys and gals here share risk when it comes to physical danger but when it comes to impacts on families, finances and futures the average client has far more to lose. The number of affluent ladies in the midst is rather small. Those that have achieved it have a presence here unknown to most.

Most new ladies begin screening for the false sense of security they get thinking they are in some way weeding out LE. The idea that there is ANYTHING you ladies can do to stay above LE's desire to bust you if you get on their radar for some reason is ludicrous in my opinion. They are a little more sophisticated as well as creative than any of you give them credit for.

Guys tend to fall in line when they are newer as a result of "being told this is the way we do it".....

I have never suggested that a lady not screen.
I have never suggested what a specific lady should charge.
I have ALWAYS been of the opinion that it is YOUR business to run as YOU see fit.

I have ALWAYS been a proponent of information and that a guy should avail himself to ALL the information that is available in regards to the decisions he makes as he engages in this diversion.

I've never really heard a solid argument on how a girl that screens is a "safer" or better choice for a guy than any other girl around here that does not screen.

Do you have one?

[Bob McV]

"screening" is an umbrella term for anything from "let me call someone you have already seen to see if she thinks you are a nutter" all the way to "send me enough personal info that I can now apply for a credit card".

In general safety is an illusion. So it is very easy to blow holes in anyone screening process and point out how it doesn't make anyone safe.

You say you have never provided any screening info right after you say you went to many socials. Which I think is probably one of the better forms of screening out there "lets meet and talk and let me personally verify you don't strike me as a dangerous nutter"

Back in the olden days when a lady of the night warmed a barstool at the high end hotel chatting up men they were effectively doing the same screening a social allows. In the modern world it is far more efficient to not meet before hand, but still the need for some sense of assurance that you aren't a "dangerous nutter" is still warranted, which leads us to the modern day screening ritual.

Guys do this all the time every "any info on" thread is a basic reference check.
Some Ladies have to be a bit more draconian because of a bad experience, or another.

Am I safer seeing a girl that asks questions first? probably not. A better choice? maybe, I could see where wanting to talk to someone I have already seen, or asking a few questions, and even starting a dialogue before hand could lead to a better overall experience compared to someone that says " yeah come on over, and stick it right in "

In addition to safety, as referenced in Jen's quote screening also serves to verify a good fit. Not all hair stylists will be able to do my locks justice, same with these ladies. if she determines that neither of us would have a good time, she has saved me a few dollars... I don't see that as a bad thing.

[gfejunkie]

Seems the only ones that bitch about screening are the ones who can't pass anyway.

[Beagle]

Originally Posted by Whispers

IMO Screening ONLY provides a lady with a false sense of security while a guy puts himself, his family, his career and his future at risk.

That would hold true if the lady divulges a hobbyist's personal particulars. I fail to see how that would happen if a provider shares only relevant details regarding a hobbyist's attitude and behavior BCD, pertinent to helping the enquirer decide if the hobbyist is safe. Perhaps there's a tendency for providers to share more details than necessary, hence compromising the client's safety? If so, providers just need to be smarter about the info they give/questions they ask.....instead of throwing the screening process out altogether....

[Beagle]

Originally Posted by gfejunkie

Seems the only ones that bitch about screening are the ones who can't pass anyway.

Why not just lay out your arguments pertaining to the topic instead of bashing W? You're neither gaining any supporters this way nor are you impressing anyone.....

[Luvdatpuddy]

Meh, I can't pass anyone's screening, but I won't bother complaining about it. I hobby infrequently, and my references never remember me. All it means is that my available pool of ladies to choose from is smaller, because I am also in the camp of "I won't provide a pile of personal information".

[Miss Valentina]

I'm not certain Whispers, it's very true that anyone who wishes to be untoward can easily manage to circumvent any paltry verification process quite easily. Sociopaths and psychopaths are very good at this, they walk amongst us, and we let them through our doors.

If the barbarians knock on our gates, they shall find their way through unbidden. Despite our grand attempts at thwarting them.

Indeed through your years of experience you have seen more than your share of tragedies (and comedies) associated with this business. But I'm rather stupefied that these villainous occurrences don't happen more often given the sheer volume of poon chasing in the community. So perhaps it offers the additional question: would we see an uptick in abuses should we all suddenly cease to verify and screen each other?

[Toyz]

Screening works both ways


Some of my best hobby experiences have been because a hobby brother or sister recommended someone to me saying "I know what you like and this is she"

I often have OC so frequently will meet for "coffee & a kiss" to make sure (or at least mitigate) the chances I am bringing a lunatic into my abode.

I don't attend socials cause I am just too fugly for public viewing.

[JennsLolli]

Originally Posted by Whispers

I learned a long time ago that if you are spending money and know a few things you can see anyone you want to and anyone you DON'T want to see becomes a critic. I decided it did not matter to me what anyone that has not met me thinks so I simply post here what I believe in...
I've never really heard a solid argument on how a girl that screens is a "safer" or better choice for a guy than any other girl around here that does not screen.

Do you have one?

Well fuck! Now how am I going to pay for my text books? Heh. But on to your final question.

Is any screening method or combination of methods perfect? Of course not. Hell, I screened my exhusband pretty thoroughly and he turned out to be the biggest nutter of all! (jk, no ex...but you get my point.) This black market of ours (or gray market, "time and companionship") attracts a lot of seedy people. Hell, anything that includes money and/or pussy attracts a lot of seedy people. But "a lot of seedy people" does not mean we are all seedy.

It makes me laugh whenever people assume hobbyists are gross guys who could never get laid in the real world without money involved. Or whenever people assume that they must all be married with wives who won't put out. These things do happen, but it's not always the case. More often than not, it ain't even close. Similarly, there are a lot of women involved in this world that come from broken homes, hard times, addictions, and/or they're too unskilled or shitty at holding down a real job. So they book a room at the Motel 6, post a phone number and play radio dj -- "FIRST CALLER IS A WINNER! EIGHTH CALLER IS A WINNER!" (She was busy s'in D for the 13 minutes that callers 2-7 rang). And I could understand how if a gentleman only saw such providers, he would get the impression that every provider must be from a broken home, a veteran of hard times, probably battling a demon, and/or too unskilled or shitty at holding down a real job. Where was I?

Right. Check out the alerts thread. See the women who are outed as being thieves (or thiefs...b/c goddamn no one can spell around here), rumored to be [insert unmentionables], friends with aggressive looking men who like to hangout in the parking lot smoking cigarillos and polishing metal, prone to bait and switch...(this list is getting long)? I don't know for sure (I'm willing to admit when I'm making an assertion), but I'm going to assert that they are the sort who don't screen. Or their screening methods end at "I'm gonna touch your peen and ask if you're a cop." If they don't care about their own safety, reputation, and well-being, why the fuck would they care about yours?

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Miss Valentina

I'm not certain Whispers, it's very true that anyone who wishes to be untoward can easily manage to circumvent any paltry verification process quite easily. Sociopaths and psychopaths are very good at this, they walk amongst us, and we let them through our doors.

If the barbarians knock on our gates, they shall find their way through unbidden. Despite our grand attempts at thwarting them.

Indeed through your years of experience you have seen more than your share of tragedies (and comedies) associated with this business. But I'm rather stupefied that these villainous occurrences don't happen more often given the sheer volume of poon chasing in the community. So perhaps it offers the additional question: would we see an uptick in abuses should we all suddenly cease to verify and screen each other?

Yes. There have been a lot of comedies as well.

I have always been very social meeting a lot of people in person that we all interact with, at socials, parties or for drinks on occasion. So I am probably exposed to a good bit more than the average people that run or read ads, see each others, write reviews and go about their business. I have made a lot of friendships along the way. and pissed a few people off.

I think what even I hear/know about is just a scratch on the surface covering of more of the same.

I think a lot of ladies suffer in silence as their need to work outweighs the issues they experience. I think a lot guys remain silent on it because they are embarrassed for getting caught up in something they should have been watching out for.

Something that stands out for me in considering it all is that in ever situation of a guy or girl gone bad...... there is that FIRST time or two.... ALL of the famous serial killers as well as con men over the years are well respected, well loved people right up to getting caught.... There is simply no way to screen for it.

The lady that created ASPD felt that the review process was a leveling field for both sides of the equations.....

Whenever I wanted to see someone back then I simply suggested they check out my reviews, see what kind of things I enjoyed and if they were up to that kind of session, contact anyone they please and go from there.

The first time I got involved in bringing some story to the community of someone in our midst gone bad it involved a high profile lady physically abused by a high profile male member of the community.

Although he was ostracized from the community for a period of time, many stood by him and it had little affect if any on his ability to see ladies.

I know guys that share P411 accounts.

I know guys that have accounts here that never post and can produce references from ladies when needed that they may have never seen.

I've known ladies in the group that "appear" to be independent and in fact are managed and their accounts controlled by someone else.

I've known of guys that create additional accounts at times of even providers and share those providers as references for other guys in their little circle of friends.

People on both sides of the equation seem to have developed numerous ways around the issue over the years.

But back to the original question. I understand WHY you ladies screen. I understand why guys screen for what is important to them.... Often guys overlook pretty major red flags in search of something they want.... Probably more so than the ladies.

But......

How am I or any guy safer seeing a lady that screens vs a lady that is available right now that provides what is required but is not as concerned to screen?

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by JennsLolli

Well fuck! Now how am I going to pay for my text books?

Don't look this way darlin..... I just swiped my card at the Student Book Store for the SO and will pay CHEGG's shortly for the GF's books!

Heh. But on to your final question.

Is any screening method or combination of methods perfect? Of course not. Hell, I screened my exhusband pretty thoroughly and he turned out to be the biggest nutter of all! (jk, no ex...but you get my point.) This black market of ours (or gray market, "time and companionship") attracts a lot of seedy people. Hell, anything that includes money and/or pussy attracts a lot of seedy people. But "a lot of seedy people" does not mean we are all seedy.

It makes me laugh whenever people assume hobbyists are gross guys who could never get laid in the real world without money involved.


Or whenever people assume that they must all be married with wives who won't put out. These things do happen, but it's not always the case. More often than not, it ain't even close. Similarly, there are a lot of women involved in this world that come from broken homes, hard times, addictions, and/or they're too unskilled or shitty at holding down a real job. So they book a room at the Motel 6, post a phone number and play radio dj -- "FIRST CALLER IS A WINNER! EIGHTH CALLER IS A WINNER!" (She was busy s'in D for the 13 minutes that callers 2-7 rang). And I could understand how if a gentleman only saw such providers, he would get the impression that every provider must be from a broken home, a veteran of hard times, probably battling a demon, and/or too unskilled or shitty at holding down a real job. Where was I?

Right. Check out the alerts thread. See the women who are outed as being thieves (or thiefs...b/c goddamn no one can spell around here), rumored to be [insert unmentionables], friends with aggressive looking men who like to hangout in the parking lot smoking cigarillos and polishing metal, prone to bait and switch...(this list is getting long)? I don't know for sure (I'm willing to admit when I'm making an assertion), but I'm going to assert that they are the sort who don't screen. Or their screening methods end at "I'm gonna touch your peen and ask if you're a cop." If they don't care about their own safety, reputation, and well-being, why the fuck would they care about yours?

This is the oldest Profession in the world. I've played all over the world as well as all over the country and I would have to say that the VAST MAJORITY of this type of business happens in the manner it always has. Two people interact with each other, get a feel for each other asking whatever questions will make them feel safe at that moment and they get to the point where someone's NEED outweighs their CONCERN and based on their gut feeling decides to go first and "trust" and it proceeds to a normally satisfying conclusion for both parties.

Screening is a product of OTHER people suggesting how to use technology and the tools available at low cost to make us all feel better about things.

Personally I think when people take their gut out of the equation and rely too heavily on others they end up burned eventually.

Back to your statement though and my problem with it.

"If they don't care about their own safety, reputation, and well-being, why the fuck would they care about yours?"

I don't know that they should.
I don't believe that they do.
I don't believe for a moment that any lady is screening with a care for my safety, reputation or well being.

Truthfully... Why should they? Why should you?

Please understand... I am NOT saying it is a bad thing to look out for yourself. The only one I believe looks out for me in seeing a provider is me....

Over the years I have helped a few ladies get started in this community that I met outside of it. I have hooked them up with other ladies that taught them to screen and suggested they do so.

Why DO YOU claim to care about our safety? Why does the fact that you screen make it safer for me to see you when and where I do?

I worry about 3 things when I see a provider in regards to my safety...

1) has she been compromised by LE and is now participating in some sting with them?
2) Does she have a psycho SO/BF/Wannabe suitor that is going to kick in the door to catch her with me and want to do damage?
3) What trace of me do I leave behind for that SO/BF/Wannabe Suitor or even her to use to try to extort me after the fact at some point in the future or out me in a jealous fit?

I don't see how a woman screening keeps me safe from any of those things. I'm not worried about much else from a safety standpoint.

In regards to your comment about the guys in the parking lot..... let me share a rather controversial point of view.....

I don't care if a girl has a pimp..... If I see that guy in the parking lot I may actually ask him if everything is cool to head on up..... Pimps are looking out for their self interests and protecting the girls in the stable is protecting their revenue stream..... If I have done MY homework right than I'm not taking much of a risk seeing the girl and knowing someone has her back means the SO/BF is not kicking in the door. It may be a risk in seeing someone that has never been reviewed but not much of an issue if seeing a known lady.

The way a lady chooses to run her busines IS HER BUSINESS... I just wanna get laid..... work.... Repeat for effect..

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Beagle

Why not just lay out your arguments pertaining to the topic instead of bashing W? You're neither gaining any supporters this way nor are you impressing anyone.....

You are wasting your words.... He has no arguments that hold weight and his sole purpose here for a long time is to take shots at the guy he feels cost him his ability to abuse the position of a Moderator.

[JennsLolli]

Originally Posted by Whispers

I don't know that [providers] should [care about a client's safety].
I don't believe that they do [care about a client's safety].
I don't believe for a moment that any lady is screening with a care for my safety, reputation or well being.

Truthfully... Why should they? Why should you?

Because I'm trying to cultivate a lovely group of regulars, not just strange and cash.
Because when my clients are put at risk, I'm put at risk. You're put at risk. She's put at risk. They're put at risk.
Because I'm a dirty, liberal hippie that cares about people and their safety. No, really.
Because I goddamn hope (and at times naively think) that there are others who have a similar world view.
Because I need to make sure he doesn't try to slip it up my butt.

And before anyone asks to act out a Pollyanna roleplay scene, I'm sweet but I'm not entirely naive. Yes, I know that screening has it's holes. I, like you, just prefer them to be tighter.

ETA:
As far as management goes, I'm pro-management if and only if the people being managed are 1) aware of their options outside of management, 2) not being manipulated, 3) not being unduly taken advantage of by management or put at an increased risk due to management. I am actually pro-agency. I had a pretty good set-up once upon a time.. I guess I'm also anti-screwing-over-your-management.

[RALPHEY BOY]

Originally Posted by Beagle

Why not just lay out your arguments pertaining to the topic instead of bashing W? You're neither gaining any supporters this way nor are you impressing anyone.....

GFEJunkie is one cool dude!!! met him 10 years ago when Kosher and Me ran Club Monger and we would have monthly dinners. He knows what he speaks of!!

[harkontume]

[QUOTE=JennsLolli;1055682016
Because I need to make sure he doesn't try to slip it up my butt.

NOW this is getting good!!