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04-11-2016, 10:35 AM
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#1
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Oct 18, 2013
Location: Frisco
Posts: 162
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Chivalry....
The other day I was leaving Kroger. As I approached the door to walk out, a lady in her sixties approached at the same time to exit the store as well. She paused and motioned, giving way to me. I stopped in my tracks and said "No. Thank you ma'am. Ladies first.", smiling and gesturing with my hand giving her the way. She beamed with joy and said "Chivalry is not dead". It really seemed to provide a lift to her day.
That brief exchange got me to thinking. Why would she say, "chivalry is not dead", unless it has been a while since she's seen it?
So, has chivalry gone the way of the dinosaur?
Ladies, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject.
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04-11-2016, 10:38 AM
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#2
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 6, 2010
Location: In the state of Flux
Posts: 3,311
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It isn't dead, but it also isn't very well understood. On more than one occasion I've opened or held open the door for a young lady. . . only to have the young man she's with walk in ahead of her.
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04-11-2016, 10:58 AM
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#3
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 22, 2009
Location: The ATL
Posts: 11,486
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The pulse is faint, I must say. Some women act like it's too much of an inconvenience to accept courtesy. When someone holds a door for you, what's so hard about accepting and moving on. This goes for guys too, actually. Nothing pisses me off more than to hear, "No, you go.", when I'm holding a door open or giving way into an entrance.
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04-11-2016, 12:44 PM
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#4
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 245708
Join Date: Jun 2, 2014
Location: DFW
Posts: 1,991
My ECCIE Reviews
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It is in fact rare these days, but there are still some good ones out there.
Just shows who was raised right. "Old school values".
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04-11-2016, 12:50 PM
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#5
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Premium Access
Join Date: Aug 1, 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 10,906
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Nice guys finish last, would apply here. Finishing last is NEVER a bad thing.
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04-11-2016, 01:14 PM
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#6
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 19, 2016
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 6,591
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It is appalling to me that (a) younger men will not treat others, especially women, with respect and deference, and (b) that women do not graciously insist on being treated as such. Even if the guy is a selfish, arrogant jackass, the benefits of treating others kindly has benefits for both persons.
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04-11-2016, 02:56 PM
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#7
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Aug 13, 2015
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 550
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I don't think it's dead, but I do see less of it these days. I always try to be generous and respectful to anyone, man or woman. Simple things like hold door for someone or letting a person go ahead of you in line of the store, can go a long ways, I believe.
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04-11-2016, 03:06 PM
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#8
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Sep 18, 2013
Location: texas
Posts: 1,372
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I always acknowledge the little boys who hold doors open for people letting them know how nice that is.
I feel it is lost on most teens and young adults but normally finds itself again as they mature and start to grow older.
Awesome job funstar holding the door for the nice lady!
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04-11-2016, 03:07 PM
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#9
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Valued Poster
Join Date: May 15, 2015
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 705
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I was talking to a few of my biddies about this the other day. I think chivalry died when some women renamed it "thirst". Nowadays if you show any kindness some, not all, women assume you're either trying to fuck them or since you're nice they feel as though you're weak and can run all over you when it's actually neither. IMO nice guys really do finish last.
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04-11-2016, 03:44 PM
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#10
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jul 23, 2012
Location: dallas
Posts: 288
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Chivalry - at least as it relates towards a knight's demeanor towards ladies, was developed in the 1400's or so. Under its original translation - you were only requested to treat non-commoners with respect and gentleness in all tings. However, because men were thought at that time to be completely incapable of not acting like savage sex monsters - knights were totally permitted to force themselves on common women (with some caveats, addendum, etc. regarding married women).
Being that I know exactly six people of legitimate noble blood lines personally (none of which are American) - under chivalry: I am obligated only to treat those 6 with gentleness; the commoners, however, I can totally rape and still be acting chivalrous.
Thus, I hate the term - Chivalry is dead - as being a bad thing. Under chivalry - we are also obligated to make war against the infidel without cessation and without mercy (sounds like some ISIS bullshit right there).
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04-11-2016, 04:13 PM
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#11
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Aug 21, 2014
Location: Dallas
Posts: 447
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I opened the door for a lady at the post office. She looked and me scowled and said I am capable of opening my own door. I told yes ma'am I am sure you are but my mother would rise out of her grave if I didn't open the door for you.
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04-11-2016, 04:21 PM
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#12
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Gaining Momentum
Join Date: Sep 20, 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 95
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I think chivalry, and the ability to accept chivalrous behavior are on the decline.
Case in point, I was at the gym doing my annual workout on an elliptical. The person using the elliptical next to mine didn't wipe it after using it. You could see sweat streaks on the handles. 15 minutes after she left, and I was still doing my elliptical, another lady walked in and came to the sweat streaked elliptical next to mine. You couldn't see the sweat as it had dried up. As a courtesy I mentioned to this lady that the previous user didn't wipe the equipment after using it. She looked at me like I did something seriously offensive...but only for a fleeting moment. She then completely ignored me and got on to the elliptical to start her cardio.
This happened less than an hour ago. I'm still confused.
PS: As some ladies here might attest, this may have something to do with my awkward looks. But still...one tries to be chivalrous.
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04-11-2016, 04:47 PM
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#13
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: texas
Posts: 714
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Nice guys finish last
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04-11-2016, 05:01 PM
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#14
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 19, 2016
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 6,591
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My father always said, You can't make other people appreciate your kindness. But, you will sleep better knowing you did the right thing.
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04-11-2016, 05:02 PM
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#15
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The BEST Memory Ever.
User ID: 100363
Join Date: Sep 14, 2011
Location: In ONE lucky man's bed-in DFW & Worldwide
Posts: 1,649
My ECCIE Reviews
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I love being treated like a lady. A properly raised gentleman knows to open doors and a properly raised lady knows how to graciously accept. Especially Southern ladies and gents I think. And it's not just "politeness", most women have less physical strength than men.
And this goes for my male friends, my clients and total strangers.
Many of my wonderful regulars routinely offer to do my heavy lifting around the house, chores I can't do like hanging blinds, plumbing, and anything that needs tools! And I am always so grateful.
I mean a man is a man and a woman is a woman and I happen to like that arrangement and I have no desire to be treated like a man. Chivalry rocks!
Not to mention, it also makes me really hot for men that help me out! It's a very masculine, attractive quality.
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