Sex vs. intimacy men vs. women?
While some of this story applies to swinging the same applies to sexwork to some extent. I have always been more interested in intimate sensuality/sexuality more than the usual most guys want. Some might be interested in this dialog expressing this frustration.
Nancy aka Diana of anakosha.org reacts to Tracy's (Phoenix Goddess Temple) situation and their similar feminine sexuality paths
With Tracy soon to be released, I was thinking how much Tracy's ideas may blend with an old friend from decades ago who has now "swung" from swinging to goddess/tantra, female spirituality empowerment issues. - Nancy of anakosha.org.
Back in 1996 - yes 22 years ago on my libchrist.com site I wrote an article titled "From October Intimacy Workshop "Room of Love" Goal Including Ideas of Nancy of Anakosha/The Sanctuary in Florida"
I talk about a great experience with a group at a swing convention (where I was a speaker) and talk about lots of sex but not much of the intimacy I enjoy vs raw sex, which is still my interest today.
I write: "The only person I've met in the lifestyle that really seems to have tried to make this happen is Nancy, founder of Club Sensitivity Seminars, which for 12 years offered seminars on swinging in Tampa before her husband died and a local preacher tried to get their group closed. Nancy and I share many ideas on intimacy but often have the same frustrations.
"We've been exchanging letters for a few years and finally met at a Florida swing convention last spring where I did our Liberated Christians presentation, and we were both on a sex and spirituality panel. Nancy and her new husband Doug have founded Anakosha and the Sanctuary and host weekly swing parties again.
"Nancy jokingly once told me she did such a great job training swingers but has failed in teaching love and intimacy. I'd like to share Nancy's ideas from her Reunion Newsletter since she has so many more years of experience than I and as a woman expresses what many women feel. She says:
Rest from 1996 is at
http://www.libchrist.com/phoenix/roomoflove.html
Nancy and I have kept in occasional touch over the decades as she moved away from swinging and more to teachings of spiritual intimacy. Her husband Doug, is also a very sharp lawyer.
Thinking of Nancy and Tracy I wrote Nancy giving her some info on Tracy's legal situation and soon release in case she and her might want to communicate. I have no direct contact with Tracy so Abbie might wish to pass on. And it may be of interest to others.
Nancy replied immediately to my email saying; (warning long):
Hi Dave,
What an interesting letter! It's been a long time since talking with you. Thank you for sending me the update on Tracy. I am copying this to Doug since this is mostly his forte and he will be interested in the legal aspects. You have collected a lot of material regarding the Phoenix Goddess Temple. I did go into that website a long time ago when seeking out info on Tantra, but I can't remember much about it, and never did know what happened after the arrest/sting.
The big difference in the goddess movement today that is emerging, is the focus is not on helping or serving men, but on helping women to become more empowered - wake up to their OWN natural healing abilities. In other words, turning it inward instead of outward to men who are so hungry for women's touch. Collecting money for Tantric services is not going to work today. The patriarchal male religion (i.e., dark corrupt, secretly hypocritical male lawmakers) has created a perverted system by outlawing love and making it illegal and then making arrangements under the table. I mean, it is so corrupt and the women are being used and abused.
The true, honest, sincere, healing abilities of love by women have been made a carrot on a stick. It is so valuable it's worth more than heroin. Love has been shut down on purpose, like drugs have, making it criminal. And of course, this has made men more hungry than ever for sex. It's not the same for women. Women want love, not sex. There's a gender war going on. And outer wars are caused by angry resentful frustrating men. Wars couldn't take place if love had been left whole and intact and freely allowed. It is natural in women to give love. It was a temple art in ancient times to keep people in harmony. There were both priests and priestesses. I've had memories of those times. But it is illegal today, shut down. People are put in prison for doing what is divine by nature. The male hypocrisy are trying to keep it that way, but it's not going to work. It is a new age and the dark side is losing. Women are coming out of the trenches.
The emphasis on gathering the women, the goddess gatherings, is not about servicing men. It is about serving themselves and building confidence that they have the upper hand and the final say in all matters. They don't know that yet, but they will. Women are natural lovers and healers. The women's movement is popping up everywhere. As you know, I've been writing for years about "where's the love in swinging?" because it seemed that the slow tender sweetness was missing. I noticed it very early but I stayed in swinging because husband(s) wanted to be involved. I enjoyed it too but my kind of enjoyment was not wanted and it became kind of a burden after awhile. I stayed with it longer than I should have because I actually reached a point where I resented the men. Today I cannot be with a man any more, just with my husband who is kind and loving.
On the positive side I have learned something valuable. I am writing now to bring attention to the fact that women are hiding their true feelings. They are not being honest. My late husband used to say that I was wrong, that it was only me who felt like that, that women loved sex. But that isn't true. Women loved love, not fast sex. He only knew the ones who showed up for parties. Even they weren't loving it. Only about half of them could be said they loved it. The rest were putting up with it to please their husbands.
So I have been learning. The sexual field is out of whack. Men are chasing it because they need the feminine softness, and women are defending themselves in whatever way they can. Some go along with it but are closed inside and they're doing damage to themselves that way, physically. Well, I could go on and on but instead of venting I have been writing about it. Swinging has been a great school. I have found many women have been damaged and most don't reveal it. It's deep down under out of sight. They pretend and live according to what is expected of them.
Finally the metoo movement starting hitting the news and I knew the women's movement had begun. It is about time. It is not understood but it is coming from a soul level. The spiritual woman is stirring the waters. She knows she's been had and she's doing something about it. My focus is to disentangle the women from the men for brief periods, in order to discuss feminine feelings freely without having to censor our words. Or couch our statements in a way that don't offend a man. Women speak differently when there is a man around. When a man is around we all want to cater to the man. There is a subtle difference when we are with only women. It allows us to stop thinking about men. We can relax and talk about ourselves honestly. The women need to start focusing on themselves, for their natural flow has been shorted out and stopped. They are not aware that they have shut themselves down. It's just the way they've been aculturated. They have assimilated the male mind sex. They need to rediscover their feminine nature by detaching for a little bit, once in a while.
Please give Tracy my best and if you like, my contact information and website for her to look over. I can imagine what she has been through in her trials. It has always been thus, down through the centuries. She has been doing her part in bringing forth the healing love which the world needs so much. God/Goddess bless her for me. You seem to be very close to her. Bless you too. Keep on with the faith and the knowing that you are helping with your commitment to the cause.
Love,
Nancy
www.anakosha.org
Dave notes on her website she goes by Diana - when she transformed from swinging.
In my reply back to her I say:
Great overview of your path.
I have always been more interested in caring loving intimacy than sex both in swinging, polyamory, and sex work although from a more secular or non-religious view.
Some of my fondest memories from the two swing conventions in Florida – I was a speaker- one in your room where had some great intimate interactions and an experience with a dentist and his wife. The wife loved my caring intimacy. Later in the night she and husband went to an orgy room with lots of sucking and fucking.
Around 1 AM the fire alarm went off. Not sure you were at this convention, I think you were, with Doug. After the all-clear instead of returning to the orgy room, she came running into my room kind or crying and just wanted to lay with me naked in my arms. After a long time, I finally asked the usual “what's bothering you.” She said she hated just the raw sex and so much missed the intimacy she shared with me. After about two hours of cuddling, I was worried that the husband would be worried about her. So I got her to call him. He replied that he was quite sure she had gone to me and therefore would be safe. I had developed an e-mail relationship with them over time and we decided to meet at the convention and of course, worked out great with both of them.
Sex vs. intimacy men vs. women?
