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LayneLaughlin · 09-13-2013, 07:55 AM

Just a question here...kinda boggles my mind. When a client whom you've never talked to/seen/etc invites you to lunch for the FIRST TIME, would you assume as a provider that you would be compensated for your time? Or would you assume what you're eating for lunch is your "payment"? Isn't all money spent for time and companionship only? Why in the world would a gal in this business go to lunch with no time compensation for a guy she wouldn't know from Adam on the street? (unless she was on a dating site, of course)

I have spent OTC time with a few select gents and enjoyed every minute of it! But it certainly wasn't on the first date...

Baffled at expectations.

guest101013-2 · 09-13-2013, 08:08 AM

When you get seated at the restaurant, reach underneath the table, grab and hold his manhood in your hands and then succulently whisper in his ear, "the clock starts now". That should eliminate any confusion for all parties involved, lol.

Guest022718 · 09-13-2013, 08:19 AM

Some of us guys are just so wonderful to be around, if we take you to lunch you should just be grateful it isn't dutch treat!

Seriously, I do appreciate it if a lady has a reduced rate for time not spent BCD, and I'm more inclined to stretch out a date to include things like dinner or dancing if that is the case.

But free? Or just the cost of lunch? Nope. If explicitly and plainly offered by the lady I will accept, otherwise, I assume I'm payin'.

strawberrycar934 · 09-13-2013, 08:35 AM

I am not sure why you state "Baffled at Expectations". This is a hobby with no defined standards. I certainly understand your position that your time is your time. Further that any time that you are entertaining is time for which you should be compensated.

I once had a provider who I met for the very first time state that she was hungry prior to our meeting. She suggested that we have dinner before our rendezvous. I had the time and I thought it would be fun so I accepted. It was not stated in advance but I paid for the meal but not for her time at dinner. I looked at the opportunity as a new experience.

I was not baffled or put off by the request. I can see someone thinking that I will see Lady X at 7:00 PM at 6:00 PM, I will have dinner. If she is also having dinner (and paying for it herself at 6:00 PM, then I could invite her to have dinner with me - where I pay for dinner). In this example, the gentleman has not materially changed the events of the day except to provide the Lady a free dinner. I don't see how his offer is so out of line as to "baffle" someone. It seems logical in a way.

Which do I think is right? I don't know. I had dinner with my lady and I did not enjoy the experience that much.

mbinlincoln · 09-13-2013, 09:36 AM

Your post points out some of the very grey areas of this hobby. Presumably professional providers are thinking of this like an attorney would....in terms of billable hours. Except providers' terms are not "30 days net" LOL. While guys are definitely looking for sex, a lot of guys, and I would include myself in this category, miss the companionship, the fun, the laughing, the flirting they get with a female companion, because presumably that part of their "significant" relationship is missing as well. Yet, in a hobbyist's mind, he is paying not for "time and companionship" so much as he is paying for sex. (yes, I understand the attempts, though somewhat feeble, to advertise differently for presumed legal purposes).

Let me break it down this way: In a guy's mind, you are probably not "booked" the whole day anyway; you presumably need to eat at some time; if you don't eat with a guy, you will more than likely be paying for it yourself; and hey, I'm a charming companion, why wouldn't you want to eat a meal with me?

I guess I'm not baffled as much by the request as I am your being baffled by it? Maybe it's a question of boundaries, and admittedly, we may not be very good at that at times.

LNK · 09-13-2013, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mbinlincoln

Let me break it down this way: In a guy's mind, you are probably not "booked" the whole day anyway; you presumably need to eat at some time; if you don't eat with a guy, you will more than likely be paying for it yourself; and hey, I'm a charming companion, why wouldn't you want to eat a meal with me?

I guess I'm not baffled as much by the request as I am your being baffled by it? Maybe it's a question of boundaries, and admittedly, we may not be very good at that at times.

This.

And, in the case of a first time, it also gives you (and the guy) the opportunity to see if something between you is "off", and call off any other activities.

As long as you get to pick or agree to the time and place, what are you really out, unless you have other clients waiting? In which case, of course, you are (potentially) out something.

Keep in mind, guys are simple creatures for the most part.

windowsidiot · 09-13-2013, 10:40 AM

My only experience along these lines was with a regular who after our date said "I'm starving. Buy me lunch?" I was happy to oblige and we repeated both on several occasions. I never assumed I was paying for her time and she never acted as if I should. The advantage of regular relationships. I would never make a presumption on a first date either way. As they say MMV

Ms.Lady Y · 09-13-2013, 11:11 AM

If it is a regular client and I enjoy his company I might go eat with him. Depends on what time it is and what I already have planned.
I don't eat until after 5pm everyday so going to lunch isn't going to happen with anyone!

Netx9 · 09-13-2013, 11:40 AM

To each their own, Layne. I've met some providers who prefer a brief m&g for first time, some compensated, some not. That is their preference as part of screening. Screening also goes both ways. He may be interested in seeing if you guys would get along (see mbinlincoln comments on the companionship part, not just sex). I don't think his request is all that unusual and you can simply say 'no'.

Who says there is no such thing as a free lunch!?

guest101013-2 · 09-13-2013, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Lady Y

I don't eat until after 5pm everyday so going to lunch isn't going to happen with anyone!

Yeah, but you're taking protein shots all day long to supplement your diet, lol.

Ms.Lady Y · 09-13-2013, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nashluv69

Yeah, but you're taking protein shots all day long to supplement your diet, lol.

hahahahahahahahaha Gotta love those protein shots.

Quantum007 · 09-13-2013, 02:29 PM

Well since "lawyer" was mentioned...perhaps if lunch is mentioned or suggested, there would be a professional way to get the question of when the clock starts out of the way before the date, so there are no misconceptions. Something of a full disclosure statement as it were.

LayneLaughlin · 09-13-2013, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Lady Y

If it is a regular client and I enjoy his company I might go eat with him.

Exactly. Key words there being "regular" and "client." Not the initial meeting. :-)

Ms.Lady Y · 09-13-2013, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LayneLaughlin

Exactly. Key words there being "regular" and "client." Not the initial meeting. :-)

Just tell them yes we can have lunch. I'm the meal so start eating!

MOCHAakaMOCHA · 09-16-2013, 05:40 PM

MAYBE (just maybe) I shouldn't be so cut and dry but unless I suggest dinner/lunch/extra time (otc) or don't send you out the moment by 30/60/90/120 minute playlist stops all of my time is paid for ie. after our date i'm hungry and going out to eat ANYWAYS he is truly free to come with. Otherwise .... I'm happy to work out social+bcd rate but *shrugs* allowing someone to not pay me for my time defeats the purpose of being a paid companion.