LMAO!
This might actually get a House committee hearing. What's good for the goose is good for the goosed, right?
Then what??? Will beating your meat be a forbidden topic?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
http://www.statesman.com/news/state-...ualcapitol_sfp
Will the masturbation bill get a House committee hearing?
Julie Chang
American-Statesman Staff
A satirical bill that would penalize men for masturbating is now in the hands of a House committee panel.
On Tuesday, House Bill 4620 was referred to the House State Affairs Committee, the panel that typically hears legislation related to abortions. State Rep. Jessica Farrar, D-Houston, filed the bill last month to mimic and satirize current and proposed regulations that have been criticized for restricting women’s access to abortions.
The bill has garnered attention in and outside of Texas and according to Farrar, irked conservative House members to the point that they’ve tried at least once to kill an unrelated bill that she has proposed.
It’s unlikely the masturbation bill will go far in the legislative process. The first step would be State Affairs Committee Chairman Byron Cook, R-Corsicana, holding a public hearing on the measure. Cook has filed or supported some of the bills that abortion rights advocates have criticized, including one this legislative session that would require health facilities to bury or cremate aborted or miscarried fetal tissue.
Messages left for Cook’s office late Tuesday afternoon were not immediately returned.
Farrar’s bill, named the Men’s Right to Know Act, calls “masturbatory emissions” an “act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life.”
The bill contains provisions that would also put restrictions on vasectomies, Viagra prescriptions and colonoscopies, including:
* The state must create an informational booklet called “A Man’s Right to Know” that contains information and illustrations on the benefits of and concerns about those three treatments. A man must review the booklet before going through with any of them.
* A man must receive a rectal exam and an MRI of his rectum before any of the three treatments.
* A man would not be able sue a doctor for refusing to provide those treatments or another procedure if the procedure violates the doctor’s “personal, moralistic, or religious beliefs.”
* A doctor must obtain consent from the man before providing the treatment, and the man may give it only if he waits at least 24 hours after the doctor’s visit.
* The state must establish a registry of nonprofit organizations and hospitals that provide abstinence counseling, a supervising physician for “masturbatory
emissions, ” and semen storage.
* “Masturbatory emissions” must be stored for the wife for conception.
State law requires that doctors distribute to women considering an abortion the “A Woman’s Right to Know” booklet, which contains illustrations of gestational periods and the risks and side effects of abortions.
Women also must wait 24 hours after receiving the booklet and must undergo an ultrasound before the procedure.
Abortion of a viable fetus can bring a penalty of at least five years in prison.
In late June, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down Texas regulations requiring that abortions be performed in hospital-like surgical centers and that doctors have admitting privileges in nearby hospitals. While the law was being contested in court, 21 of the state’s 41 abortion clinics closed. As of January, none had reopened.
Hey Jerkoffs! You soon may be breaking Texas law.
