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Chloe · 08-04-2010, 12:48 AM

Hypothetically . . . .

Say you are a hobbiest/provider . . .
Say you have a close family and/or kids . . .
Say you will die in one year . . . what would you do???

offshoredrilling · 08-04-2010, 01:47 AM

am single, do not know my kid, most of my family has moved far away. So having hard time with this. As me as is, sell all I have here. Buy back house I had in Raquette Lake NY. Or one near it. And move in. You will find me in the TAP ROOM BAR. When time, drive to Indain Lake. Walk up Wakely mountain. Up the fire tower. Look at the view. Give Thanks for what I had. mmmm all this would be much easier said than done. Wakely has a chopper pad. Getting me down would not be that bad. And I aways wanted a ride in one. Behind the house is a path to another path that's near south inlet for Raq lake. Just set me(or ash that once was) on a hill over looking south inlet.

Please wave if you drive by on rt28

As to the "Hypothetically" If I fit the rest of what you said. Quit my job spend half my time with the family. The other half with providers. mmmm I forgot sleep ok 1/3 of each.

This is "Hypothetically" right?

BrookeButtons · 08-04-2010, 06:55 AM

Knowing I only had a year, I would live that year to the fullest. Although, I have never quit understood why we wait until we know our life is almost over to start living it, I'd do all the things that I have always wanted to do, but had lack of time doing them. I'd create a bucket list and enjoy my list with all my close friends and family. And of course I would provide for as long as I could

Hopefully no one minds me being on my death bed.

NormalBob · 08-04-2010, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chloe

Hypothetically . . . .

Say you are a hobbiest/provider . . .
Say you have a close family and/or kids . . .
Say you will die in one year . . . what would you do???

The answer is different depending on whether we're talking about close family, in which case I tend to agree with Brooke, or if we are talking about kids.

If we're talking about kids, whether you are a hobbyist/provider/mail man/admin asst/NFL football player/bureaucrat... I think the answer would be the same.

Develop a plan to have the kids in the best situation possible and then bust ass working towards that plan. There's certainly time for self-oriented fun too; but, there should theoretically be great satisfaction knowing that your kids will survive and do well.

I'm not talking pure finance. Planning for their emotional needs and physical safety are every bit as important.

Guest012413 · 08-04-2010, 07:46 AM

As with Bob, if kids are involved, making sure they are setup as best as possible would be the first priority.

Since I have also experienced family loss at a very early age, one of things I valued the most was having a point of reference to that family members life, meaning I would record something with video, and make a record of my life, my passions, likes and dislikes, and even convey some of my life's stories as they have helped me along the way. Like they say, a picture is like a thousand words, but a video is priceless, especially when it lives forever and can be watched over and over.

jackfengshui · 08-04-2010, 07:53 AM

Carnegie Mellon Computer Science Professor Randy Pausch showed us the way:

http://www.thelastlecture.com/
http://www.cmu.edu/randyslecture/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Pausch

NormalBob · 08-04-2010, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackfengshui

Carnegie Mellon Computer Science Professor Randy Pausch showed us the way:

http://www.thelastlecture.com/
http://www.cmu.edu/randyslecture/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Pausch

Great links jack. Thank you.

"I just experienced a deathbed conversion. I bought a Macintosh"

LMAO.

Click it to hit his last lecture on youtube

guest111111 · 08-04-2010, 08:28 AM

No doubt in my mind here... Kids will and always have come first... i would do as much as i a possibly could in that year with them, and make sure that they are taken care of and provided for as they grow. This is the "fantasy" part of my life. When faced with such finality, i dont think there would be anytime for fantasy.. as tim McGraw once sang... live like you were dyin...

cnym · 08-04-2010, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Docdave

No doubt in my mind here... Kids will and always have come first... i would do as much as i a possibly could in that year with them, and make sure that they are taken care of and provided for as they grow. This is the "fantasy" part of my life. When faced with such finality, i dont think there would be anytime for fantasy.. as tim McGraw once sang... live like you were dyin...

I have to agree with Docdave. Kids and wife will come first to make sure that they are financially secure for the future. If there is any money left, I might hobby once in a while.
in the mean time, I will live my Life to the fullest within my means.

offshoredrilling · 08-04-2010, 10:37 AM

Docdave & cnym
As I have not had kids with me. It is hard for me to think that way. But you are both right. If there are kids in the mix. They come first.

Chaz108 · 08-04-2010, 01:25 PM

I have had the fortune, and misfortune, of having to live through some very tough times early in life. Everyone has. It's what you do with that knowledge later in life that makes you who you are. I try to always "live" each day and never sweat the small stuff. There are times when it proves difficult, but those times pass by quickly....as does life in general.

If given the news I only had a year left, I think I'd be bitter at first. The whole "why me?" argument. After the notion sank in, I'd spend every waking moment ensuring there was nothing left on my bucket list. And I'd be taking family and friends along for the ride!

China Doll · 08-04-2010, 02:15 PM

This is going to sound pretty morbid, but I would at least consider offing myself. I've never considered such a thing before, but I don't think that the certainty of death in a year would make for a good last year.

Of course, as others have said, kids would change the equation. I spend that year making sure that they were in a good a place as possible.

MrInvisible · 08-04-2010, 08:20 PM

My brother died in early July; he was diagnosed with a terminal illness about a month earlier, and we thought he would have more time.

People say you should "live like you are dying," but he did the opposite, he "died like he was living," like he had plenty of time left. As a result, no one was sad around him, and we spent his last days saying all of the meaningful stuff, sharing stories, laughing and crying. Everyone who found out about his condition got in touch, and he greeted them like he had all the time in the world. He was a teacher, and he said it was life-affirming to hear from all of the former students and colleagues, to share stories.

We joked that he was eating 10 meals a day. He had no appetite, but from morning to night friends and family would show up and bring a little something to eat, sit around and nosh -- not noticing that he wasn't really eating any of it -- and then leave. It was a gift ... for him to see those people and for those people to see him.

He was 51 (I am just a few years younger).

I think that when you are told that you have a small amount of time left, a lot of the things you THINK you would do in these hypothetical conversations will feel small and meaningless.

I don't know what I would do under those circumstances, but I would hope I would have the same style and substance and grace. I would hope to have as many full days as possible; I define a full day as one where you get to experience love and laughter, where you are moved to tears (of joy or sadness) and where you can think ... and I guess if you told me I had a year left, I would want to have 365 full days.

BrookeButtons · 08-04-2010, 08:21 PM

I don't think its morbid at all. If I knew I had a cancer that wasn't treatable and knew there was a cetrain time line of my life left, I would off my self before it got unbearable. I have seen many people die of cancer. It isn't pretty, comfortable, or fun. You can fight certain things for so long, but one battle many lose to is cancer.

Oh and of course I would make sure Bella (my beautiful 6 mo. old puppy) would be taken great care of!

wantmore1111 · 08-04-2010, 09:07 PM

Being in my mid 50s all the kids are grown and have been put thru school and on thier own now and with my wife taken care of money wise already I don't think I am strong enough of a person to go every day know my time is coming. And I only work now 80 hour weeks, I have nothing but work I think my best friend would be 1. GLOCK 23 2. H&K compact or the Smith and Wesson 357. And go on my terms the way I run my life now. But thats only my opion.