De-Funk Your Junk!! Ideas for the Misunderstood!!

[Abigail (Source of JOY)]

fresh-balls.jpg

1. Fresh Balls

$15, 3 oz

Pros Fresh Balls goes on like a lotion and then almost instantly becomes powder, leaving you feeling as arid as the Mojave Desert.
Cons None. Okay, the company is based in Las Vegas, in case you're unsure about rubbing anything from Sin City on your testicles.
Euphemism for scrotum used on packaging "Privates"
Can you go commando with it? Yes. Keeps your boys dry, pants clean.
Rating 4 out of 4 stars
(Of course, there's more to pleasing your woman than just freshening up down under. Check out The Girl Next Door newsletter for advice on making the first move, charming her pants off, and sealing the deal.)

2. Jack Black Dry Down Friction-Free Powder

$18, 6 oz

Pros A talc-free powder with cornstarch, lavender, green tea, and cucumber not only sounds aromatic but will keep you dry and help avoid chafing.
Cons You can't sprinkle powder upward, so application is a messy proposition—there's almost no way to avoid having an incriminating cloud of dust settle beneath you.
Euphemism for scrotum "South-of-the-border"
Can you go commando with it? Yes. The fine powder doesn't clump.
Rating 3 stars

3. Gold Bond Medicated Body Powder

$8, 10 oz

Pros This drugstore staple isn't strictly for your sack, but it has a mentholated tingle. It's also the easiest of the bunch to find, which is good when your 'nads need freshening now.
Cons There's the same application problem that Jack's powder has. It's also a little clumpier, which can leave you looking as if you've been cleaning chalkboards with your boxers. (What else can go wrong in the sack besides clumpy boxers? Plenty! Troubleshoot your bedroom skills with The Big Book of Sex and improve your love life instantly.)
Euphemism for scrotum None
Can you go commando with it? Nope. It'd rub off a little too quickly.
Rating 2 stars

4. Axe Detailer Grooming Tool
$4

Pros Axe helped spark the whole craze with its Clean Your Balls ad campaign. This doohickey has two sides: a rough one for knees and elbows and a soft, mesh one for your man parts. Used with shower gel, it does, in fact, clean your balls.
Cons It looks like a glorified version of your girlfriend's bath pouf, crossbred with a hockey puck. And the shower gel is sold separately.
Euphemism for scrotum "Your 'sensitive' areas"
Rating 2 stars

It's a Jungle Down There

Genital grooming preferences vary as much as lovemaking techniques, but the bushy natural look is clearly out of fashion. So we endorse the Braun Cruzer Body ($60, braun.com), a rechargeable, washable trimmer that can have your cojones as bare as Patrick Stewart's head in no time. This wet/dry 2-in-1 tool—shave or trim—comes with an inductive charging stand that you can stuff in your medicine cabinet or display on your mantel. But don't stop there. After you've trimmed, swaddle your freshly shorn package in underwear designed using the latest in moisture-management technology. Options abound, so here's the lowdown: Cotton and modal fabrics absorb sweat, while nylon, polyester, and microfiber move moisture away from your twig and berries. We support Bold, a new underwear line from Calvin Klein. These boxer briefs ($28, calvinklein.com) are 82 percent poly and 18 percent elastane to keep you dry and snug

IJS.........

xoxoxoxo
Abigail

[davidd444]

Excellent info Abigail, thank you.

[Sensia]

I love a man who is trimmed or completely shaven in his nether regions.. and one who is clean as a whistle and smelling fresh!

Good post!

Guys, you will get more out of a lady if you take care of these things. I mean what lady wants a mouth full of pubic hair, and sweat?

LOL

[Abigail (Source of JOY)]

I rarely have men who really need to pay any more attention to their grooming... (however, there are those few..) but Summer is here... and what harm could a little Preventative Maintenance do??

[Mr Willy]

Much thanks for the public service announcement Abigail.

[boardman]

What do you recommend for these?



You knew I couldn't resist.

[Abigail (Source of JOY)]

Originally Posted by boardman

What do you recommend for these?



You knew I couldn't resist.

It is my understanding that cats balls normally produce no odor.... However it IS RECOMMEND that you have the anal glands squeezed on a regular basis, as odors do arise from that area......

(you should have resisted!!)

[boardman]

Originally Posted by Abigail (Source of JOY)

It is my understanding that cats balls normally produce no odor.... However it IS RECOMMEND that you have the anal glands squeezed on a regular basis, as odors do arise from that area......

(you should have resisted!!)

Is there an upcharge for this service? I'll cook you some gumbo.

[Abigail (Source of JOY)]

Originally Posted by boardman

Is there an upcharge for this service?

I will have to Google the teqnique. But if you wanna be a GuinneaCat.... And let me practice on you... It's free!!

**DISCLAIMER**
Positive results not guaranteed on teqniques provided by Google!

[Lincolnpark]

Classic.........

[Dorian Gray]

Wash your balls... And if you're not sure wash again.

[Sensia]

Lmao Boardman....

[boardman]

Originally Posted by Abigail (Source of JOY)

I will have to Google the teqnique. But if you wanna be a GuinneaCat.... And let me practice on you... It's free!!

**DISCLAIMER**
Positive results not guaranteed on teqniques provided by Google!

Yeah, well, I'm not so sure I want my anal glands "practiced on" by a novice...ijs.

Let me know when you have squeezed a few first. Might I suggest Carkido as a new patient?

[Abigail (Source of JOY)]

I'm thinking of running a Promotional Ad.... One tube of Fresh Balls with every new appointment!!!

[EmilyofHouston]

Free 'junk" shaving with every appointment! any takers? lol