How much would screening change if LE was no longer an issue?

[atlcomedy]

....that is legalization/decriminalization?

I'm sure it would vary greatly by where on the food chain the gal falls (business model), but even then, like now, there would be many differences.

Obviously guys with prior bad acts would still end up on DNS lists

How important would references be? Real identity?

And a somewhat related question, what are the norms for some of the mainstream dating/relationship/casual encounter sites? Do you vet "Bob's" real ID or after some back and forth just decide to meet "Bob" out for a drink and see where things go?

[discreetgent]

I can give a pretty good idea of what screening is like. In all cases the gals were along the lines of those that tend to post in this forum.

I have had the chance to see gals in 3 countries where escorting is legal: Canada, England, and Australia. All that was required in those places was my real name, and the hotel I was staying at. No references were asked for.

[Guest053011]

On the other hand it's also common in Canada to ONLY ask for one reference, and not ask for a real name.

All they want to know is you're safe. Who you are no longer matters when LE is not involved, because they don't care if you're a man in blue.

Now in Canada incall is still illegal - so heavier screening in that situation does still occur.

There is a remarkable difference in my screening when I'm seeing someone in Canada and when I'm seeing someone in the US. Also, Canadian men often find themselves horrified by the screening requirements of US ladies, often joking that you need to give your mapped DNA.

[ForumPoster]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

....that is legalization/decriminalization?

And a somewhat related question, what are the norms for some of the mainstream dating/relationship/casual encounter sites? Do you vet "Bob's" real ID or after some back and forth just decide to meet "Bob" out for a drink and see where things go?

Good question. I always compare my screening to "screening" done by my single friends who date on line.

OMG is all I can say ...

Lina

[guest012511]

There shouldn't be any real difference or change in screening.


I screen in my civi world, through conversation, body language and with my sixth sense; the same method, I am sure, many adapt when (in addition to the pre meeting screening) face to face with a gentleman friend.


It's also an implemented procedure done for safety and compatibility.
That includes for all sorts.
LE is just a small part of the sifting.
There are other types of undesirables as well.

Some frequent this world and some frequent the "normal" world.

I'm keen on not meeting a bunny boiler in either world.

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

On the other hand it's also common in Canada to ONLY ask for one reference, and not ask for a real name.

As a follow up. In both UK and Australia I had the option of either a reference or my name and hotel and I chose to provide my name and hotel since my references were US or Canada based.

[Marcus Aurelius]

In Australia who needs an escort.

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

In Australia who needs an escort.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Also, Canadian men often find themselves horrified by the screening requirements of US ladies, often joking that you need to give your mapped DNA.

Now, that's really funny!! And sad, at the same time.

[Sydneyb]

In the "real world" a while back, I was dating on one of the mainstream sites and used my screening skills learned as a provider and stepped it up a notch or two.

Because I am not someone who could work as a provider while dating someone exclusively - and dating someone exclusively was my desire at the time - there was an opportunity cost involved in dating someone. Therefore, lifestyle mattered. I would be giving up a lot to date someone; I wanted it all or not at all.

For every 100 inquires, I went out with approx 3-5 men. This part was screened on basic compatibility. Did I like his style of communication, did he want more children (no thank you!), etc. Once we got past that and self selected to a low 3-5%, I would do my research.

One time, I met someone for wine and appetizers and I knew this about him going into it: His last home was 4 hrs away with his not quite ex wife. they rented and the house was under $200,000. No children, I knew the make of his car (and his not quite ex's) and that they both owed balances on both of their mid level vehicles. He currently lived with a relative in Houston. No past divorces and no civil/criminal convictions. While it wasn't the lifestyle I ultimately want, I was really intruiged by his involvement with a certain poker website I play on regularly and thought that there was growth potential and mutual interest.

Over wine, he talked about how he left his ex wife (said they were divorced) everything - a $500,000 house and a paid for 6 series convertible. I quickly ended the date. I may not mind 'em poor but don't lie to me

I found all that out on a site I pay $25 a year for and open records on government sites, using only his name and general age range. And if I ever go on sites like that again - though my current paramour makes it extremely difficult to consider anything of the sort, as my life is so comfortable and happy now - if I did, I would screen the exact same way.

Before you go and get all excited about your risk as a client - #1, I'm extremely good at data collection. Not everyone can do what I do as well or as efficiently. #2, I never did all that background on someone who was a client because it doesn't matter. The things you look for with a client are: am I safe? and can he afford the cost of entry? So don't get all excited about girls having access to your name because most can't do it and the ones that are smart enough to do it don't care.

[Guest050715-1]

I still would screen to some degree. Reason number one: personal safety. Reason number two: is he reliable. A man with references is just like a lady with reviews.

[RebeccaRothko]

Everything SydneyB said.

With clients it is safety first; if I've done enough research to know I'm safe then I'm not worried about any legal entanglements.

[Laurentius]

I live in a little town in the middle of nowhere. People know me there.

A provider, as part of verification, called the tax collector to determine the assessed value of my house. (WTF?!!!)

She called from her home phone. So the tax collector gave me a call and let me know that a lady named X at xxx-xxx-xxxx had called asking about my house. She was concerned because she thought that indicated I was selling and moving out of town.

I assured her it was just some overly-nosey woman.

I DID however think there was a certain poetic justice to the situation in that a provider who had gone WAY beyond what was needed to assure her safety compromised her own data. Naturally, she'll never know I know; but I DID cancel the booking as I felt she had been inappropriately invasive.

As for dating ladies in civie life, which I did up until about 8 years ago -- I discovered that as a 30-something single guy who owned a couple of companies I had a great big target on my back for gold diggers who were looking for me as a gateway to a lifestyle.

Hey, nothing wrong with being a gold-digger if that's a lady's thing; she's just not my "type."

In addition, as a guy who had had not that many dealings with women; I was a little out of my league and depth in dealing with their degree of sophistication. I'd be wrapped up with a nice little bow on my head in no time and become a sugar daddy before I even knew what hit me. I know this, because it happened. Very painful learning experience.

So I made sure most of my assets were held by an LLC whose principle was a corporation. That dead-ended ownership except for the most zealous searchers. Even my car became a company car. Anyone who did much looking would decide that I owned almost nothing. A credit report showed one credit card, barely used, with a fairly low limit.

Then, I ditched the M3 which got me lots of dates (with the wrong women for me) but it was a PITA to adjust the solid lifters every 10k miles anyway, and got an intrepid.

Finally, I made sure all my business cards said "janitor" or "geek" instead of "president."

It was hilarious to hand certain girls my business card and see how quickly they would make an excuse not to deal with me. Next! LOL

Those who passed the "test" of course fared better than they thought they would.

This is the devious mind of a guy who read Grimm's and Anderson's Fairy Tales.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Laurentius

In addition, as a guy who had had not that many dealings with women; I was a little out of my league and depth in dealing with their degree of sophistication. I'd be wrapped up with a nice little bow on my head in no time and become a sugar daddy before I even knew what hit me. I know this, because it happened. Very painful learning experience.

So I made sure most of my assets were held by an LLC whose principle was a corporation. That dead-ended ownership except for the most zealous searchers. Even my car became a company car. Anyone who did much looking would decide that I owned almost nothing. A credit report showed one credit card, barely used, with a fairly low limit.

Then, I ditched the M3 which got me lots of dates (with the wrong women for me) but it was a PITA to adjust the solid lifters every 10k miles anyway, and got an intrepid.

Finally, I made sure all my business cards said "janitor" or "geek" instead of "president."

It was hilarious to hand certain girls my business card and see how quickly they would make an excuse not to deal with me. Next! LOL

Those who passed the "test" of course fared better than they thought they would.

This is the devious mind of a guy who read Grimm's and Anderson's Fairy Tales.

L--

I love it, love it!!! You are my hero.

[Maybe I should submit this story as a nomination for CNN's Heroes. ]

[Rudyard K]

Originally Posted by Laurentius

I live in a little town in the middle of nowhere. People know me there.

A provider, as part of verification, called the tax collector to determine the assessed value of my house. (WTF?!!!)

She called from her home phone. So the tax collector gave me a call and let me know that a lady named X at xxx-xxx-xxxx had called asking about my house. She was concerned because she thought that indicated I was selling and moving out of town.

I assured her it was just some overly-nosey woman.

I DID however think there was a certain poetic justice to the situation in that a provider who had gone WAY beyond what was needed to assure her safety compromised her own data. Naturally, she'll never know I know; but I DID cancel the booking as I felt she had been inappropriately invasive.

As for dating ladies in civie life, which I did up until about 8 years ago -- I discovered that as a 30-something single guy who owned a couple of companies I had a great big target on my back for gold diggers who were looking for me as a gateway to a lifestyle.

Hey, nothing wrong with being a gold-digger if that's a lady's thing; she's just not my "type."

In addition, as a guy who had had not that many dealings with women; I was a little out of my league and depth in dealing with their degree of sophistication. I'd be wrapped up with a nice little bow on my head in no time and become a sugar daddy before I even knew what hit me. I know this, because it happened. Very painful learning experience.

So I made sure most of my assets were held by an LLC whose principle was a corporation. That dead-ended ownership except for the most zealous searchers. Even my car became a company car. Anyone who did much looking would decide that I owned almost nothing. A credit report showed one credit card, barely used, with a fairly low limit.

Then, I ditched the M3 which got me lots of dates (with the wrong women for me) but it was a PITA to adjust the solid lifters every 10k miles anyway, and got an intrepid.

Finally, I made sure all my business cards said "janitor" or "geek" instead of "president."

It was hilarious to hand certain girls my business card and see how quickly they would make an excuse not to deal with me. Next! LOL

Those who passed the "test" of course fared better than they thought they would.

This is the devious mind of a guy who read Grimm's and Anderson's Fairy Tales.

Seems like a lot of trouble to make your self look like what you claim that you are not.

It is easier for me to just look like what I am. But looking like what I am doesn't mean I have to be a patsy...nor do I have to be Mr. Big. I am neither. But it doesn't take a lot of sophistication (God knows, I ain't a sophisticate ) to feel your way through a woman...just patience, calmness, and a realistic view of human nature. She can reaserch what she wants...but I ain't telling much.