Child support after blow job?

[NinaBrooke]

I was discussing this with a client/friend of mine yesterday, that in the USA even if your semen gets stolen after a BJ and the woman impregnates herself voluntarily without the males knowledge, you have to pay custody for a child, because the interests of the child are more important then the interests of the betrayed father

Is this true?

This is what i found via google.
http://whyyoumadson.wordpress.com/20...ched-blow-job/

I doubt in Europe anyone would ever have to pay child support for that.
But i am not sure . I consider that an interesting topic to discuss. Anyone smarter than me on this and can explain this in a profound matter?

[Rudyard K]

The problem is...there are only a few viable solutions.

1) The mother takes care of the child.

2) The father takes care of the child.

3) The child fends for itself (and probably dies).

4) Society takes care of the child.

I guess society is saying...option 3) is not an option we are willing to accept...option 1) appears to also not be an option (I'm guessing the mother is incapable)...so, if society is voting, they vote for option 2).

That does not make it right. It just makes it the way it is.

[atlcomedy]

I am friends with an attorney that represented a somewhat well known former NFL player that had protected intercourse with a woman. After the act he retired to the restroom. She took the discarded condom & gave the little swimmers a second chance. This came out in court, but the judge still ordered child support. (so Nina, to your point, the interests of the child do outweigh parental intent, etc.)

The irony is apparently the father was not nearly as financially successful following his playing days (read broke). He went back to court and got the support dropped to match his current income. The woman's meal ticket was worthless. All that effort.....

[Marcus Aurelius]

Here's one for you.

Two lesbians want a child.
They ask a gay friend to donate sperm.
He does. Later a child is born but the women go their separate ways and one of them keeps the child.
She takes the gay man to court for child support.
The judge rules that the gay man is required to pay.

This really happened.

[charlestudor2005]

Some of the motivation may have been **surprise** money.

Facts:

• The father is a doctor, presumably with a substantial income
• The paternity lawsuit wasn't filed until the child was 6 years old, approx. 7 years after the alleged BJ
• The child is now 12 years old
• In most states (I think) once paternity is established, the child support order becomes retroactive to the date of birth and accrues interest for unpaid child support. In this doctor's case, that could be a LOT of MONEY.

As a rule, in the US, it doesn't matter how she got pregnant. If she can prove paternity (especially through DNA), the non-custodial parent pays child support. His option is to counter-sue for custody. If he gets custody, he gets the child and she has to pay him child support. Not as much, probably, but that's how it works.

[acp5762]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I was discussing this with a client/friend of mine yesterday, that in the USA even if your semen gets stolen after a BJ and the woman impregnates herself voluntarily without the males knowledge, you have to pay custody for a child, because the interests of the child are more important then the interests of the betrayed father

Is this true?

This is what i found via google.
http://whyyoumadson.wordpress.com/20...ched-blow-job/

I doubt in Europe anyone would ever have to pay child support for that.
But i am not sure . I consider that an interesting topic to discuss. Anyone smarter than me on this and can explain this in a profound matter?

I suppose technically it would be true. Kinda of a ridiculous thing to worry about though.

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by acp5762

I suppose technically it would be true. Kinda of a ridiculous thing to worry about though.

No...nothing to worry about...but let's just say I no longer leave anything to chance and I make sure my swimmers don't get a second chance to swim & handle their disposal myself.

[NinaBrooke]

OH MY GOD! And waht about punishing the women for rape?? I heard you can - if you donate sperm also sign an affidavit that says you waive all rights for custody. A friend of mine (she is residing in the USA ) is wanting to become a single mother by choice and she had a friend donating her sperm (can`t be used though - he is - sadly - beyond fertile) and there can be made agreements that waive all his rights to custody :-) .

I think that is outrageous that courts support women doing such things. I did not believe that could possibly be true. My god!!! So dear men i hope you all discard the condoms yourself and do not ever CIM :-)........
That is so evil, i mean how can a woman look herself in the face after doing that? The other way round (men impregnating women and then not taking responsibility) is also a bad bad thing and happens far more often.
I have to look how courts judge things like that in europe. It really made me curious. I will dig around and ask and let you know.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Some of the motivation may have been **surprise** money.

Facts:

• The father is a doctor, presumably with a substantial income
• The paternity lawsuit wasn't filed until the child was 6 years old, approx. 7 years after the alleged BJ
• The child is now 12 years old
• In most states (I think) once paternity is established, the child support order becomes retroactive to the date of birth and accrues interest for unpaid child support. In this doctor's case, that could be a LOT of MONEY.

As a rule, in the US, it doesn't matter how she got pregnant. If she can prove paternity (especially through DNA), the non-custodial parent pays child support. His option is to counter-sue for custody. If he gets custody, he gets the child and she has to pay him child support. Not as much, probably, but that's how it works.

Oh , is it true that there are cases where its prooven that the supposed father is not the father (via DNA) and he STILL needs to pay child support? I heard taht to be true too? Is it?

And to the second point, i encountered a man in the USA who proceeded a divorce after his wife cheated on him and used him for money obviously. He tried to get custody, but its hard for men to get it, unless the mother is incapable. The wife was also pressing him hard for money. This is outrageous. I wonder where the love went.

I grew up the first 15 years of my life at my fathers. He got custody of me and my sister, which was at that time also very unique for europe in the 80ies. But my mother signed everything and her lifestyle was not seen appropriate for raising kids.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

No...nothing to worry about...but let's just say I no longer leave anything to chance and I make sure my swimmers don't get a second chance to swim & handle their disposal myself.

One of my exes (he was very rich and women wanted kids from him all the time) even ONLY uses his own condoms because he was worried that a woman might just pinch a needle in it.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

OH MY GOD! And waht about punishing the women for rape?? I heard you can - if you donate sperm also sign an affidavit that says you waive all rights for custody. A friend of mine (she is residing in the USA ) is wanting to become a single mother by choice and she had a friend donating her sperm (can`t be used though - he is - sadly - beyond fertile) and there can be made agreements that waive all his rights to custody :-) .

The people I spoke of above also had a signed affidavit stating that [he] waved all rights for custody. The judge agreed to that. However the sperm doner was still required to pay child support.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

The people I spoke of above also had a signed affidavit stating that [he] waved all rights for custody. The judge agreed to that. However the sperm doner was still required to pay child support.

my god. What happens to people? Its similar to marital contracts not being valid anymore because the circumstances change. Outrageous.

I am sorry but what happens to women getting custody removed from children (i am talking about the nutcases with the sperm "rape") because they are mentally instable and psychos? I`d call them sociopaths any time. Borderliners for sure. I think women like that should not be allowed to have custody. If i were the father i would sue their butts and get them the child removed.

[Marshall]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Oh , is it true that there are cases where its prooven that the supposed father is not the father (via DNA) and he STILL needs to pay child support? I heard taht to be true too? Is it?

Mostly no........

[Marshall]

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

The people I spoke of above also had a signed affidavit stating that [he] waved all rights for custody. The judge agreed to that. However the sperm doner was still required to pay child support.

he must not have followed his state's law on sperm donation.....was he represented by one of the attorneys here?

[charlestudor2005]

.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

Oh , is it true that there are cases where its prooven that the supposed father is not the father (via DNA) and he STILL needs to pay child support? I heard taht to be true too? Is it?

It can happen. The laws vary from state to state very dramatically. For instance, in Oklahoma, divorce cases are heard only by a judge. In Texas, right next door, divorce cases can be tried to a jury. DNA tests are expensive. If paternity is established without DNA (through a court/jury finding), it is quite possible the Court will NOT revisit that issue. The father had a chance to try that issue once, and is not granted that chance again, unless there is "newly discovered" evidence. A DNA test is not "newly discovered" because it was a possibility at the time of the divorce. So yes, it is possible for a "father" who was once ordered to pay support is continued ordered to do so even though he can present evidence he is not the father.

In the US, the Court sits wearing two hats: (1) in equity, and (2) at law. The judge decides equity issues while a jury decides legal ones. In Oklahoma, divorce is considered an action at equity, while in Texas, it is at law (or at least portions are). One of the concepts is "finality of judgment," which makes it an anathema to re-try an issue, such as paternity. It would clog the system with frivolous cases, so the law assumes the judgment resolves all issues as having been tried (argued) and determined.

And to the second point, i encountered a man in the USA who proceeded a divorce after his wife cheated on him and used him for money obviously. He tried to get custody, but its hard for men to get it, unless the mother is incapable. The wife was also pressing him hard for money. This is outrageous. I wonder where the love went.

The wife getting custody automatically is not as much a "slam-dunk" as it once was. These days it depends on: (1) the state in which the case is tried and its case history; and (2) the judge. In the US, and in my opinion, the civil rights laws have been responsible over the years for making courts look at the male/female as equals when considering custody issues. The mother has some inherent advantages, especially with pre-school children. The father has some inherent advantages, especially with older children. So, it tends to shake out overall. You just can't make a broad statement and say, "It's hard for men/women to get custody." Each case is taken on a case-by-case basis, and the facts of each case applied as such.

So, one judge might be predisposed to grant custody of pre-schoolers to the mother, while another judge is not...is more predisposed to regarding the mother/father equally in determining custody.

I grew up the first 15 years of my life at my fathers. He got custody of me and my sister, which was at that time also very unique for europe in the 80ies. But my mother signed everything and her lifestyle was not seen appropriate for raising kids.

Most states have statutory or case law guidelines on the appropriate factors to consider in granting child custody.