It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities.Now, after original and proprietary research, they are proud to present the results:REMOVING HER CLOTHES:With her consent............ 12 Calories Without her consent........ 187 Calories OPENING HER BRA:With both hands............ 8 CaloriesWith one hand.............. 12 Calories With your teeth.............85 CaloriesPUTTING ON A CONDOM: With an erection........... 6 Calories Without an erection....... 315 Calories PRELIMINARIES:Trying to find the clitoris.. 8 Calories Trying to find the G-Spot. 92 Calories POSITIONS: Missionary................ 52 Calories69 lying down..............78 Calories 69 standing up........... 112 Calories Wheelbarrow.............. 216 CaloriesHer on top................ 524 Calories Doggy Style............... 726 Calories Donkey punch.............. 912 Calories ORGASMIC: Real..................112 CaloriesFalse................ 315 Calories POST ORGASM: Lying in bed hugging........ 18 Calories Getting up immediately.......36 Calories Explaining why you got out of bed immediately................816 Calories GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are 20-29 years old........ 36 Calories 30-39 years............ 80 Calories 40-49 years.............1124 Calories 50-59 years........... 1972 Calories 60-69 years........... 2916 Calories70 and over....Results are still pending DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:Calmly............ 32 Calories In a hurry........ 98 Calories With her father knocking at the door... ...............1218 Calories With your spouse knocking at the door................. 5521 Calories