Where is the LINE???????

[Guest031811]

I am writing this in hopes to prevent it from happening again. When I say this, it goes to say that this line should be respected by both providers and hobbyists.
Also, I not quite sure what I am doing to illicit this behavior.
However, yesterday, I was cleaning and a former client rang my doorbell. I answered the door and was surprised to see him, since it was my day off and he hadn’t made an appointment.
He told me that he tried to call, text, and email, but I hadn’t replied. (Most people would agree that too much of a good thing can be overwhelming, and that taking a couple days off a week is a good way for a provider not to get “worn out”). So, of course I hadn’t checked my emails or phone.
I think that it is highly inappropriate to show up unannounced to a provider’s house. I mean, lets reverse the situation. Imagine if a provider were to just show up to a hobbyist’s home completely unannounced and uninvited. I think this is RUDE and a recipe for disaster. Furthermore, it is overstepping MANY boundaries. We all have a private part of life. Many of our friends and family members are unaware that we participate in the hobby—I would like for my life to remain this way. All of us enjoy privacy. I think it is important to keep that in mind.
But then, my brain gears started turning. I remember 2 other clients e-mailing me at some point and mentioning “Oh- I drove by the other day to see if you were there”. (In my head I think this is weird and borderline stalker-ish, but actually getting out, ringing the doorbell, and inviting yourself into someone else’s house, wow.)
My mom would always say, “first time shame on you, second time shame on ME…. What happens the third time?”
What am I saying or doing to make these clients think its “OK” to just drop by unannounced? Has anyone else had an issue with this? (Provider showing up or a client showing up without the “OK”)???

[Guest083013]

A client just "showing-up" is absolutely rediculous. I know there are those who will question using one's abode for business; however, that is simply a business decision on your part. There is just NO earthly reason I can think of whereby any hobbiest would ever do this to any Provider. I do hope he now knows your feelings about this. Take care and thank you for bringing this up.

[sanantonioman37]

Wow..........very bad etiquette and poor decision making on their part. I have to admit that would creep me out. You are going to have to be firm with them and tell them like it is.........boundaries and this is strictly business.
Wow, I never really thought of providers having this kind of issue.

[MsPrittiKitti]

good point:" i was just stopping by your house because you hadnt contacted me for an appointment lately."--i dont think theyd like that at all.

[oden]

That is totally inappropriate and I would have to say stalking behavior. I think you should consider a restraining order and definitely post this guy's info the locker room. I would also let him know that you have let others know who he is and what he has done so that he can have no expectation of repeating this without recrimination.

I am so sorry that someone on this site would act this way. It is appalling.

[Mokoa]

It never ceases to amaze me just how stupid some of the adult guys are. In order to keep things safe as well as enjoyable in this little world of ours, there is a certain, shall we say, code of conduct that we all must adhere to.

To not do this is simply to invite disaster.

The line should be there and it should be clear and wide.

[Mossman]

Talk about thinking with the little head...Man, how little can it get. That brain must be pea sized! In what universe would this be acceptable?

[SofaKingFun]

Where is the line? That's easy.

Dudes, if a gal doesn't answer your call or replies to your e-mail/private messages,
wait until she does!

DON'T be a fucking tool and show-up to someone's place unexpectedly... EVER!

This is called respect, common courtesy, and common sense.
Unfortunately, it's not nearly as common as it's supposed to be...wtf?

Hopefully you verbally reamed his ass for being an idiot.

Unbeeeevable...

[Guest080312-1]

Originally Posted by brittanylennox

...I not quite sure what I am doing to illicit this behavior... What am I saying or doing to make these clients think its “OK” to just drop by unannounced?

The answer is simple, Britt -- It's absolutely nothing that you said or did, other than using your residence as your incall.

From the responses above, it's more than obvious that 90% of us exercise common sense and respect for each other. It's because of the other 10% that you need to take precautions, such as using a motel as an incall -- which is terribly unfortunate, since the relaxing atmosphere of your place adds to an enjoyable experience.

P.S. -- Now that you're in this situation, I recommend you give serious consideration to oden's advice.

[Crispy1969]

How awkward would that have been if you were just finishing an appointment & this Dude shows up just as your client was leaving? Wow I guess when you told him he was your ATF he thought you meant BF! Be safe!

[Turing]

Stopping by uninvited is, of course, totally inappropriate, but calling this "stalking," based on the description provided here, would seem like a bit of a stretch. Some people just have never learned the applicable rules of social etiquette. I am sure that it is not news to any providers here that some of your clientele may be lacking in certain social graces, and need to be socialized to the rules of gentlemanly conduct.

I think that the former client/gentleman caller in question needs a polite and firm no, with a clear message that your colleagues in the community would consider an unannounced visit totally inappropriate. I expect that the response would be a rationalization, followed by a somewhat sheepish and embarrassed apology, and the behavior will stop.

[Guest081519]

Originally Posted by Crispy1969

How awkward would that have been if you were just finishing an appointment & this Dude shows up just as your client was leaving? Wow I guess when you told him he was your ATF he thought you meant BF! Be safe!

Even worst. boyfriend, husband, children or Mom and Dad. Holy crap that would be awful.

Can you imagine trying to explain to someone's father what you are doing there?

[Guest041315]

Originally Posted by MsPrittiKitti

good point:" i was just stopping by your house because you hadnt contacted me for an appointment lately."--i dont think theyd like that at all.

Well said.

[swwaustin]

Whether it is a stalker or a tactless dunce it is Creepy...to say the least. That would be one of my biggest concerns if I was a provider. I would hope that most ladies and men are able to respect the boundaries of the client-provider relationship.

[Guest072013]

this is weird that you would ask... cause just 3 days ago i had someone show up announced with my son home and my bf home. walked around and around.. as i opened the door he says "msluv?"
being as nice as I am I said " no" and he went on his way, but he got a look like no other and the answer I gave him was not in a polite tone.
I have been waiting for something like this to come out in a discussion.
We providers post hours of avalability, and for myself I am very vocal on when I can be available to email , text or call. ( and I will be rude other wise)
like all have said... there is a line...hours of availability are just that.. do not contact after those hours. If we dont answer it is for a reason... whether it be simple as we are not available that day or have been extremely busy. And as bad as this will sound, we see more than just the one person and can not be at someones beck and call whenever the "little head" is thinking more than the other head.
and to just show up is totally uncalled for and very disrespectful. did he not know you have a life outside of the hobby? doesnt everyone? in my opinion, there sould be an alert of some form put out on this hobbyist... to warn other providers of this behavior.
totally uncalled for and upsets me all to hell. lol
sorry this happened to ya and hopes go out that this will not happen again to anyone.

RESPECT