Heartfelt musings from a robot.....

[Guest062124]

I have been doing a lot of reading lately and have noticed a trend in a few threads referring to providers as if we aren't human. Almost like we are a sub-culture that can't be trusted or loved or even trust and love in return.

As everything in life, there are bad people, but is it so bad that we are thought of as robots that just spread our legs and collect funds? Sure the hobby does affect some ladies in a negative way, but for me, it has been a learning experience , a chance to grow up and see that there are people who actually give a damn about each other and in some cases, people who actually give a damn about someone that they don't even know. I think that most ladies here will agree that this is the case for them, as well.

I guess I am saying all of this to say, just as you gentlemen chose to be apart of this hobby, most of us chose to be a part of it as well. It's a choice...it doesn't make me less than human or less than any other woman on this planet. In fact, I think it only makes me stronger. Some of us lead double lives, support our families by ourselves, and work daily to be "perfect" in the eyes of the gentlemen we entertain. We are caregivers to many...so next time you think about a provider as just a body to use for a few hours, try just once to think of us for who we are and you may not be disappointed as often. Ladies respond very well to being treated like ladies. Yes, I know, you are the paying client....but as I said before, I, just as you, made a choice to spend time with you. I didn't have to and won't again if I feel disrespected or looked down upon. Luckily, that has only happened a few times in my experience.


I enjoy my life as a provider, but I am not a provider 24/7. At the end of the day, I am a normal woman....who loves strongly and faithfully, who would put my man and my children in front of everything else. If I walked away from this today, I would walk away with a smile and with a lot of friends, but with no regrets and no scars. It is a blessing to be able to provide the things I can provide to make others happy, but in the long run, when Mr. Perfect comes along and says, "Let's go, baby.", I am out of here. Simply because this isn't my life. It is only a small part of what makes me....me.

I know that this may be futile, because most people who have a strong belief about something, very rarely change their thought process because of something said by one of the ones they have those beliefs about. I wanted to say it, just in case it helps. Hey, can't blame a girl for trying.

[guest043013-2]

Reese,

I think I sense a certain something in several of your posts over the last few weeks or so. In any event, I think you stated your point rather nicely.

Six years ago I would not have been able to think in the terms you suggest. Even after visiting with many different ladies, I still saw them as objects to be rented, one hour at a time.

Then I met a couple of ladies here (ok, actually on ASPD) who opened my eyes to the fact that they are real people. with families, children, etc. As I came to know several ladies more closely, my outlook, my view changed significantly.

Actually, one of those moments was after you had a rather painful interaction on the board and decided to step away for a while. Doubt you remember the hour long conversation we had that day discussing you, your family, and stuff. I realized then you were a real person, and so are so many of these other ladies here.

I think the stereotype of this hobby is that guys are just looking for a whole to leave a deposit in. (Hopefully, some of those deposits actually are into a condom, but you get the idea.) And so, a lot of guys find sites like this with that mindset. I had that mindset, and left each appointment feeling empty, no satisfaction, kicking myself for the experience.

Let me tell you, if you really want to get a deeper satisfaction, make a connection with a lady. With the connection, the satisfaction you receive will be both the physical, but emotional.

Having said all of that, I think there are some ladies here or that can be found on other sites that are in it to provide a place for deposits to be made. If that is all you want, I guess you can find a match. If you want more, I suggest you look at Reese's statements a little closer.

[Avalon]

Very well put, Reese. I search for providers that seem to have a mindset similar to your own. I'm not looking love, but, I do appreciate developing a connection with a provider. The connection is made, just as you wrote and quite simply by treating the lady like a lady. Although, temporary, it does make the time spent much more enjoyable. Great sex with a really beautiful cool woman is what makes me keep coming back for more.

[lisa.lisa0302]

Thank you for a wonderful heartfelt post.

The ole feeling like robot scene does get old after awhile. *Sigh*.

Providers eat, sleep, cry, giggle, laugh like you guys. We do have emotions, and some of us do not treat you guys like a cash machine, we treat you like a human being. Some of us actually care and respect the gentlemen that walk through our doors.

I just wish that more guys realize this, if you poke (not that kinda poke) us too hard, we do cry...or at least say ouch. We are not sub-human or lower class or trashy. We do have feelings, we are not made of stone. Lol. We like to be appreciated just as much you guys do. :-)

[Big Daddy Moose]

I am sorry to hear you ladies feel that way. It is a shame some treat you less than you deserve and far less than they should.

To me, the entire experience, from emails and phone calls, to drinks and discussion about life and love is all part of the greater experience. I want to be treated like I am the sole focus of your entire day. Therefore, I will treat you as if you as the pinnacle of my day. Sensuality and seduction start in the mind, and only when the mind is engaged can they reach their potential.

To be thirsty and to drink water is the perfection of sensuality rarely achieved. Sometimes you drink water; other times you are thirsty.

[Int3rested]

Doesn't sound like a robot at all... good post, well said...

[Chevalier]

You have to admit, though, that for providers it's always about the money.



Here are some other jobs in which it's also always about the money (i.e., if you don't pay them, they probably won't still come to work):

• Dentist
• Doctor
• Lawyer
• Engineer
• Cop
• Nurse
• Teacher
• Sales-person
• Counter person at McDonalds; see here (or Chick-fil-a)
• Auto mechanic
• Librarian
• Accountant
• Banker
• Consultant
• Farm worker
• Journalist
• Waitress
• Social worker
• Purchasing agent
• IT repairman
• Roofer
• Desk clerk at hotel
• Janitor
• and a few thousand more

[Can you tell I consider that common characterization of providers to be one of the silliest statements ever made?? Yeah, I know that the point is that clients shouldn't assume the lady is in love with them, but there are better ways to say that than implying their attitude is fundamentally more impersonal or money-grubbing than most workers in other jobs.]

[/rant]

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I might characterize this as much more about the boards -- any P4P board that gets beyond a certain size -- than about the people who populate them.

We all interact with hundreds of people each week. We don't always treat those from whom we get goods or services (or customers if we're the business person) as much more than a means to an end. I smile at and am polite to the waitress when I go out to eat, and she does the same to me, but we probably don't really engage with each other beyond that. As long as I'm not rude or demeaning in my treatment of her (and leave a good tip ), that's probably OK with her; as long as she provides good service, that's probably OK with me. We doesn't need to be friends with, or discuss our kids, aspirations, etc. with, all of the people we interact with.

P4P is more intimate, and I understand if the ladies would prefer more from their clients than, say, the way people interact with their grocer or lawyer. But some (many?) clients still may not want more, just as they might not with their doctor or (non-P4P) masseuse. That's just the way some people will always be, particularly we introverts/shy people. It might be nice to have more engagement, but I guess it might be OK with the ladies as long as there is still that minimum level of respect and politeness. Just as it's OK with me that only a few of the ladies I see seem to really "connect" with me.

I would guess that you do receive that minimum level of respect and politeness, usually, while face-to-face; it's environments like this board that bring out the angry or cynical or dismissive attitudes. (Escorts receive even more nasty comments than lawyers do!) It's not necessarily that clients are generally bad people, but many seem compelled to be more cynical or angry or rude here than they would be face-to-face. In fact, it's almost a matter of pride with some. (Or, in some cases, maybe they would also be miserable to be around in person. Who knows?)

Luckily for clients, there's less random nastiness on the boards directed at us than there is directed at the ladies. At least, on the publicly viewable parts of the boards. An inevitable function of the uni-directional nature of the business.

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Ultimately, I think all the ladies and the clients can reasonably expect is: (a) the other person should maintain that minimum (emphasize that word, and think of how people treat you in other contexts) level of respect/politeness when interacting directly with you; (b) a few who may become friends beyond the session; (c) mostly nice people in the online community; and (d) relatively few painful interactions. Alas, the latter will never decline to zero. Yes, I've caused a few myself. (Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.) Just as I've been on the receiving end from some of my clients. We certainly should do better, but it may just not be possible in a place like this. Particularly since the raison d'etre of a P4P board is largely the evaluation of the service, which is inherently objectifying.

(Edited to add: Please do not encourage the formation of a Lawyer Client Community Information Exchange board! I know I'll always be evaluated by clients, but I'd prefer not to have this type of forum for them. Thank you.)

But I'm more sympathetic than I sound. Really.

[mtabsw]

Reese - well said, and I will be happy to enlighten anyone about you not being a robot....

I have had many conversations with you and others I see that have opened my eyes and my heart - which by the way is way more satisfying to me as the other half of this than the physical act.

Keep doing what you do...

[guest061212-1]

So, what you're saying Reese, is that is not a coin slot?

Thank you for the reminder. Along a parallel train of thought, I would like to add that we are not ATM's.

[LuckJack]

I used to think I was just lucky, well I am LuckJack. I would read the horror stories about providers and wonder where the bad ones are 'cause almost without exception I have enjoyed each provider's company. I have even fallen for a few and don't regret it a bit. As stated many times, the most interesting women in the world are right here. The media is so wrong about the business..you know the common wisdom, but most of the women I see have a similar back story...they were about 40 found themselves single parents with kids to raise and had always had an open mind about sex. Civilians bore me to tears and in general they don't know how to f**K.

Rant off.....

[bigdog0311]

Great post, Reese! Your avatar does not look like a robot to me, great pose! No matter how much you may dislike a persona on here or how much you think the providers are all about the money, or whatever the rationale is. We are ALL human beings and should be treated as such, of course, this should go beyond the scope of this thread!

[~Ze~]

Originally Posted by J.G. Wentworth

So, what you're saying Reese, is that is not a coin slot?

People often forget the person behind the "provider" title. *sigh*

[pmdelites]

ms. foster, i knew i loved you the first time i ever met you.
your post convinces me that i love you even more.

sigh.... that there is a very large "do not cross" line between us.

[TheDuck]

I'm the perfect Duck....does that count??

[Guest091314]

Well Said!