FBSM v. GFE - What's the difference?

[Natalie Reign]

As most of us know, the Full Body Sensual Massage (FBSM) is a distinctly different experience than that of the Girlfriend Experience (GFE). I enjoy providing both types of sessions on a regular basis, and appreciate each session type for its unique attributes, but always tended to offer a taste of GFE within my FBSM sessions because I genuinely enjoyed being the GFE.

But lately, I have experienced a distinctive "blurring" of the FBSM/GFE lines within my sessions. Call it "testing the limits," call it "boundary pushing," call it "getting your money's worth..." just don't call it appropriate. I'm probably about to shoot myself in the foot here, but...

FBSM is meant to be a sensual, relaxing experience - a unilateral offering of healing touch, tease and release without the expectation of reciprocation. In general, one can expect to be greeted with a kiss or two, stripped down to his desired comfort level, and treated to a Swedish-style massage by someone without an RMT designation, then finished off with a smile, L1 or L2. At least, that's what I've always heard.

GFE sessions are far more interactive, and may include things like LFK, DFK, DATY, HJ, BBBJ, CFS, etc. Clearly, the difference in FBSM and GFE donations is a direct reflection of the expected effort expended on the part of the provider, and variation in levels of interaction.

Aside from donation amounts, what makes a hobbyist choose an FBSM session over GFE session?

I enter a different mindset for an FBSM session than I do for a GFE session. I prepare myself mentally and physically in a different way for a massage than I would for an intimate one-on-one encounter. In the last month, I can't tell you how many times I've been in the midst of an FBSM, and have truly been attempting to pay attention to the client's breathing, muscle reactions, and trouble spots - really trying to provide as therapeutic a massage as possible without any actual massage training - when the client begins calling out GFE-type requests as if he's ordering off a fast-food menu. I want my client to leave happy and relaxed, so I feel a certain amount of pressure to comply, and if I'm not in the mood to perform those types of activities, some clients become visibly upset. But really... we have our reasons.

Not to share too much, but I schedule nothing but FBSMs and D/s sessions during "Shark Week." Catch me at the wrong time of the month and start begging for DATY during an FBSM? I definitely won't want to play that way. Please don't make me explain why I don't want to comply while I have you all happy and relaxed on my table. Clearly, that would be quite the mood killer. Right? Or am I just making an assumption?

I don't understand why I'm seeing such an increase in the number of gentlemen requesting/booking an FBSM, then expecting GFE interaction at FBSM rates. Can someone explain this to me?

[Guest040616]

From my perspective there is a distinct difference between the two type of sessions. I enjoy both but I will generally opt for the massage in a first session. In any event I go into a FBSM session with distinctly different expectations than I would GFE. As for me, I have never booked a FBSM session with a preconceived notion that it would end up being GFE.

With that said, I did enjoy a very spontaneous FBSM session with a Houston RMT a few years back that ended up being one of the most erotic GFE sessions I have experienced in the hobby. This particular therapist did not normally offer anything beyond a sensual massage and those only to individuals she had develoiped a level of trust with! She and I already knew each other quite well and I just happened to be the recipient of her amorous affections on that particular day. In other words the timing was perfect and we we both knew it.

After the deed was completed, she did not raise the issue of an increase in compensation for the higher level of service. Quite frankly I came in prepared only to compensate her at the regular FBSM level. However the next time I booked a FBSM with her, I left a generous tip. I never mentioned to her that the additional tip was for our previous session but I am quite certain she was able to put two and two together!

[guest021911]

Natalie they are definitely two different types of sessions and the hobbiest should know this. If he seeks to "upgrade" in the middle of the session, I think it's certainly appropriate ONLY if you are prepared to do so AND he understands it's extra and compensates you accordingly. Maybe your menu should include a FBSM/GFE combo but it's certainly helpful to you to know what to expect so you can prepare accordingly. If a hobbiest wants/expects/demands a GFE session for a FBSM session,he should be outed IMHO like our buddy Casper.

[Happy Diver]

They certainly are very different. I think most hobbyists know this and those that do this are trying to push a FBSM into a GFE is simply being cheap (at best) or trying to force a provider past her limits (at worst). And, of course, there will always be guys that are just clueless.

[Dagny D.E.W.]

Originally Posted by Natalie Reign

I don't understand why I'm seeing such an increase in the number of gentlemen requesting/booking an FBSM, then expecting GFE interaction at FBSM rates. Can someone explain this to me?

As one who is mostly FBSM but occasionally will let the GFE Willow out of the closet I have the separation with name/service/rates line being very clear but I think to answer your question ...

the gent wants a GFE @ FBSM rates.

[Sexy Roxanne]

I have the same issue at times, however if they want to go the gfe, then they will pay the upgrade. Or it stays as fbsm.

[thegj]

Good discussion. I think there are several reasons why some "boundaries" get pushed. The obvious, already stated, is that some gents will always push the limits on all occasions, just like a few providers have NCNS issues. The only thing to do is do your research and keep names and don't get sweet talked into changing your standards.

A second reason is "limited experience added to ignorance." I experienced this early in the hobby world when I was a little confused on time and when the clock starts. My only knowledge was based on my experience with 1 provider- over time I learned to find out "when does the clock start" with different ladies. Some liked to talk a while and then get started. With some the clock starts when the door knob turns- yet I would not classify all of this group as "clockwatchers." THE REAL ISSUE HERE IS THAT SOME PROVIDERS BLUR THE LINES BY GOING INTO GFE ACTIVITIES TO TRY AND SECURE A REGULAR CLIENT OR TO go for an upgrade during the session and the client is not sure what's happening.(remember this is a novice guy with little "other" experience) And I do not equate the small gfe touches that you mention, Natalie, as this sort of line blurring. There are a lot of lurkers and newbies out there who just don't know what to expect.(and I acknowledge that there are some lurkers who have more experience that most of us)

And some choose the FBSM experience because of limited ability to perform- aging issues, medical conditions and others may just want to not have the responsibility to think about pleasing someone else. I have had a fbsm(multiple visits) with an older lady who told me that I was a breath of fresh air bc she is used to old guys who just lay back and do nothing in response. She enjoyed the mutual touching and requested that I feel free to respond in followup sessions. Personally, I like to get a massage from a great RMT thrapist who can really did deep into muscles or just provide a great "floating on clouds" Swedish massage. I prefer gfe experiences with providers but as I get older I may change my preferences.

Additionally, I do think letting people know that you can't do a FBSM PLUS(daty or something else) is good. I would want to know and I see this info in some ads- I appreciate the candor. SO YES I THINK YOU ARE MAKING AN ASSUMPTION but I do understand your reasoning and believe that others(male and female) may agree with you. My preference is honest communication before starting a session- no matter the type.

Natalie, this is a wonderful discussion you have initiated. You sound a lot like Miss SB in your thoughts and reasoning. Thanks for taking the initiative.

[Sabor]

Upgrades in service should go hand in hand with upgrade in price. Tough to call what is is acceptable as all providers have different rules, some don't mind NE/SE, digit play, role reversal, or even DATY, when in questions just ask and providers if this a first time visitor tell us your boundaries.
I would like a clarification on the differences between L1 and L2.

[ThrillBill88]

Personally, when I schedule a FBSM with a provider who advertises FBSM only, I never expect anything additional nor do I push the limits. However, when the provider advertises FBSM and GFE, as you do Natalie, I'll often schedule the FBSM with the option to upgrade. When I arrive, I provide the GFE donation, and the provider gets to keep it regardless of whether or not the session progresses to GFE. If the session ends up being FBSM only, the provider gets a nice tip. Is that a problem?

[Vyt]

I bought a plane ticket to Houston from Southwest online, but when I got to the airport and demanded I be given a first class ticket to Paris for the same price instead the ticketing agent just laughed at me.

Really poor customer service, I must say. I'm going to post a bad review.

[blindguy]

I think there are cases when the hobby-ist in question wants GFE @FBSM price but that certainly doesn't describe every scenario.

I think a far more likely scenario is that the guy (or girl) gets really excited in the middle of FBSM and loses his shit and just wants more. In other words, starts thinking completely with the little head.

[guest071011]

I always ask for what I'm in the mood for and usually I like 30 minutes of FBSM and then 30 for GFE. I believe that sets the tone for a complete session. However, I always respect the wishes of the individual. You will always no upfront what I want in a session.

[MarleyMonroe]

Totally agree... I've been having a lot of those requests as well! that's why I have been offering a combo of the two. I think the guys just get so turned on that they want more, but they need to realize that it can't be offered @ the same rate.