Newbies Start Here

[Guest110920]

We frequently have newbies join. Newbies have questions. I get a lot of those questions, and I don't mind answering them, but most newbies have a similar set of questions, so it makes sense to pre-answer as many of them as possible.

On topic for this thread: Newbie FAQs and tips, questions from newbies, and sincere answers to their questions. Civilized and well-reasoned disagreement is fine. If you need to disagree with something, do it without being disagreeable or making it personal.

Off topic for this thread: Anything else, especially newbie bashing or personal attacks on anyone.

Keep it friendly, please. This is meant to be a welcoming thread for newbies where they can get the help they need to get up and running.

[Guest110920]

By far the most common newbie question is how to find providers that will agree to meet with them. They are stuck in the catch-22 situation of needing references to see most providers, yet needing to see providers to get references.

Here are some tips about that. I'm not going to list out known newbie friendly providers for a couple of reasons. Such a list would quickly go out of date and not be useful for long. Also I'm not sure all the providers would be in favor of it. Instead, here are some tips.

First of all, your best source of information about how to get a provider to see you as a newbie isn't from experienced clients on the board. It's from guys who have recently pulled it off and had their first appointment. Browse the introduction threads in the Welcome and Introductions forums. See any clients with a relatively recent signup date that have one or two reviews now? They figured it out. Also keep an eye on reviews. If you see a first review from someone with a relatively recent sign on date, that may also be worth looking into. PM these clients and ask how they did it. You'll likely get better info this way than asking guys who haven't had to worry about who is newbie friendly for a while and don't pay much attention to it.

It wouldn't hurt to do a Google search. Most of what you're going to get are requests for newbie friendly providers, but you may see where some newbie friendly providers responded in these threads. Try this: https://www.google.com/search?q=newb...utf-8&oe=utf-8

I highly recommend joining P411 (preferred411.com) to any newbie. It does cost money ($149 per year) but to my mind it was the best thing I did as a newbie. It is definitely not required, but I think is the best way to get on the fast track to becoming a *former* newbie. I'll have more on P411 in an upcoming post. Opinions will likely vary on this, but I think it is an option you should consider.

Some providers that are newbie friendly say so in their showcases. Go to "Browse Showcases" and select Arkansas from the Metro Location drop down. Pay attention even to ladies not located near you, because some of them may travel to your area at times. If you do join P411, ladies that are newbie friendly may list it in the "Willing to See" area on their profile.

Realize that not all providers who might be willing to see someone without references want the label "newbie friendly". Some providers may be willing to see someone without references on a case-by-case basis, IF you are willing to comply with their screening requirements. It's worth a try to put a request for a newbie friendly provider in the Requests and ISOs forum. It might be more effective to do this after you've had a few posts in other areas of the board, especially the Coed forum, just to let people get a sense of you and your personality. That alone won't get you in the door - you'll still need to be screened - but it might help. To my mind it's better than just showing up with your first post being a request for a provider.

One other possibility you might wish to explore is using an agency. The agency in NWA, PDH (Pink Dollhouse) is to the best of my knowledge newbie friendly. I'm not sure about options in Central, perhaps someone from there can comment. I'm not sure if all providers will take agency references, but I know some do.

Speaking of references, you will want to make sure that if you do see a newbie friendly provider, she is also reference friendly. It doesn't help you to see anyone if they won't provide a reference for you. Keep in mind that many newbie friendly ladies don't like to be regarded as only a stepping stone, so if you spend time with one of these ladies and like them, consider going back sometime.

It can seem like the odds are stacked against you as a newbie but it just requires some perseverance to get over the hump. Once you have a couple of references under your belt, it gets much easier. Keep in mind that the providers are taking a risk anytime they see someone without a track record. It's nothing personal, they just need to protect themselves.

[Guest110920]

Incall and Outcall simply indicate who is hosting.

Incall: You go to the provider
Outcall: The provider comes to you

That's it. Doesn't matter if it's a hotel, apartment, house, tent, etc. If you go to where the provider is, it's incall. If the provider comes to you, it's outcall.

[Guest110920]

BBBJCIMNQNS? HJTC? YMMV? What does it all mean? Thankfully, ECCIE has a handy guide to the sometimes baffling world of hobby acronyms:
https://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=8752

[Guest110920]

It would be a good idea to familiarize yourself with the forum guidelines linked below. Don't get yourself banned for something because you didn't know it was not permitted.

https://www.eccie.net/announcement.php?f=5

[Guest110920]

From time to time you will hear people talk about P411. It is entirely possible to do without it, and it is a paid service that currently costs $149 per year. That said, in my opinion it is worth the fee, especially as a newbie, because it can make screening nearly effortless. As you've surely already realized, most providers require references from other providers you've seen, for their own protection. With P411 when you've had an appointment with a provider you can request an "Okay" which is her vouching that she's seen you and you are...well, OK. You'll see on provider profiles something like "Basic Plus 3" on the "Willing to See" line. That just means she'll see clients who have at least 3 okays. "Basic Plus 2" means willing to see those with at least 2 okays. And so forth. For those few providers who are newbie friendly (very important to you right now), "Willing to See" is where that information may be listed as well.

P411 also gives you a scheduling system to request appointments with providers and also private messaging. Another benefit of P411 that's especially useful for a newbie is that it gives you a little bit more credibility in your early days in the hobby. You paid for the privilege of being there, so there's less of a chance that you'll be a time waster - guys who constantly message providers to get a thrill from talking to them without any intention of setting up an appointment. If you are a P411 member, they have already verified your identity and employment, which helps the provider with efficient screening. P411 states that providers are free to conduct additional screening but in my experience once you have a few okays that doesn't really happen much, though it could.

I personally like P411 enough that I renewed again this year even though I have plenty of references. For one thing the Okays work a little better than references in my opinion because it doesn't matter whether the ladies know each other and will give each other references. They are just right there for any provider to see. It is also very helpful when traveling, again because it doesn't require the providers to know each other or even be reference friendly. Once you have 2-3 okays you are pretty much set to see just about anyone.

[Guest110920]

There are a few ways to make contact with a provider once you're ready to make a booking request. You can send a Private Message on ECCIE (or P411 if you have it). Send an email. Send a text or make a call if the provider publishes her number in her ads or profile. Make sure to read her showcase to see if there's a particular way in which she prefers to be contacted.

If sending a text, I like to reference my ECCIE or P411 account as well:

"Hi, I'm <your handle> from ECCIE (or P411). I also messaged you there so you can check out my profile. Checking if you'd be available for an hour in the late afternoon this coming Wednesday. Thanks!"

Prior to sending them this text I would have already messaged them on ECCIE (or P411):

"Hi, I'm checking to see if you'd be available for an hour in the late afternoon this coming Wednesday."

If you have P411 there is a booking form you can use to request an appointment.

This will likely go over better than a text out of the blue that could be from anyone. It also mentions a certain time and duration, which makes it less likely you will be suspected as a time waster (and more importantly, don't be one!)

Not all providers publish their phone numbers (you would get it after verification). In that case a PM or email will be your options for the initial contact. A note about etiquette here: If a provider gives you her number and she doesn't post it herself publicly, don't give it out to others or post it anywhere (such as in a review). That will make you unpopular with her quickly. There are reasons she doesn't publish it.

The provider will request your screening information and how she wants to receive it.

Once you've been screened successfully, there will likely be some back and forth until you agree on a day and time and then you're set. Note that you will most likely not be given the location yet. That is normal. She'll send it when it's time.

Things not to do:

• Don't ask about services offered. You can generally find those from her showcase, P411 provider profile or her website, or from reviews. If you have premium access you can also ask the guys in the Men's Lounge.
• Don't ask about donation amounts. This information is also given on her showcase or you can look at recent reviews to figure it out.
• Don't argue about her screening requests. If she asks for something you're not comfortable providing, politely retract your request and move on.
• Don't send dick pics. They don't want them and it just makes you look like a jackass.
• Don't be a jerk. A pleasant and respectful attitude goes a long way.

Asking about services or donations is a sure fire way to send up red flags and make her very suspicious and stop communicating with you.

Don't pepper her with endless questions about every little detail. It's annoying and unnecessary. Once you've made the booking, generally there shouldn't be anything else needed until the day of the appointment. If she wants to have other communications with you, she'll let you know.

[1anchor]

Wow thanks. Those post will help a lot.

[Ginger Doll]

Great post! I'm sure it will help new hobbyists quite a bit.

[bluffcityguy]

Originally Posted by SpankyJ

We frequently have newbies join. Newbies have questions. I get a lot of those questions, and I don't mind answering them, but most newbies have a similar set of questions, so it makes sense to pre-answer as many of them as possible.

Yeah, but...

I used to spend a lot of time on USENET, and I learned a lesson there that it useful to remember generally on the 'net:

"Frequently asked questions are asked frequently. Get used to it."

Not to belittle your work here; good job. It would probably be good to make this a sticky post.

Cheers,

bcg

[Guest110920]

Originally Posted by bluffcityguy

Yeah, but...

I used to spend a lot of time on USENET, and I learned a lesson there that it useful to remember generally on the 'net:

"Frequently asked questions are asked frequently. Get used to it."

Not to belittle your work here; good job. It would probably be good to make this a sticky post.

Cheers,

bcg

Oh yes, the questions will surely be just as frequent, there's no doubt of that. This lets me point guys that ask them to the thread for a lot of them, so I can thoroughly answer them without re-typing variations on similar PM responses. In that sense the thread is as much for me as anyone; I can help, but cut down on the time it takes me to do it.

[Guest110920]

Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

Great post! I'm sure it will help new hobbyists quite a bit.

Thank you!

By the way, for any providers reading, I'm definitely seeking provider input here. If you'd rather not post in the thread, feel free to PM me your suggestions. I won't mention your name in the thread unless you want me to.

[Guest110920]

You may have seen where some providers are "YMMV" (Your Mileage May Vary). There are at least a couple of facets to that, but one meaning is that the provider chooses what she wishes to engage in with each client on a case by case basis. One of the main determining factors? How clean you are.

Be clean. My personal standard is to have showered no more than 1 hour prior to any appointment. You might think that is excessive - you showered in the morning, right? Well I hate to break it to you, but you stink. Not you personally, but all of us at some point, and it gets worse as the day goes along. You want your provider to be "shower fresh," for you, right? Why not show her the same courtesy? If you just can't shower before leaving, many ladies are more than happy to let you use theirs when you get there if you ask. Don't think you can smell yourself and know that you're OK, either. Unless you are some kind of yogi or circus freak that can put your nose to your crotch, you aren't even able to detect anything from the areas you want her to be near.

Let's have some real talk here. A sufficient shower isn't running some water over your body. It involves targeted application of soap (many ladies tell me they love the scent of my Irish Spring, but it's up to you what kind) on areas of your body that can tend to produce unpleasant odors. Such as: crotch, balls, ass, pits, feet, behind ears, anywhere else you can think of. It's hard to believe this needs to be mentioned but I hear from providers frequently (without them using any names) about guys who reeked so much they could barely make it through the session. Don't be that guy. I guarantee you will have a better time if you are obviously clean and freshly bathed. Don't just think you can splash on some cologne and be covered either. Be clean for real.

Don't forget your breath, It's debatable whether you should brush your teeth right before an appointment, as it's said to open micro-abrasions in your gums that can make you more susceptible to infections. But you can use mouthwash, or my personal favorite, chew some mint gum on the way to the meeting. I'm so paranoid about fresh breath I usually go through a whole big pack on the way. A word of caution here: If you do that, make sure the gum you're chewing isn't sugar free. The sugar alcohols in sugar free gum can cause significant gastric disturbances, and no one wants that. Many of the "intense" gums like Orbit, etc. fall in this category. I opt for good old Wrigley's Doublemint instead.

[FreezyIce]

Great post. Very helpful. I recently was a newbie. And of course, I sent Spanky a PM asking questions. His presence on the chat boards seemed to tell me he's the go to guy around here. And because he drinks and he knows things.

Two issues that he educated me on that are not mentioned above:

Protection: Providers normally carry protection with them, especially with in calls. How ever, if you want a special brand or type, it's best to carry your own. Also, this helps you from running out of supplies. I like to go back and forth between activities. This can take up quite a few jimmy hats. Bring your own so that you don't deplete her supply and put a damper on the date.

The donation: Use an unsealed envelope, and put it in plain sight as soon as you walk in the door. If it is an outcall, have it waiting on her in plain sight. After you and the provider have a session or two and get comfy with each other, you can say hi, hug, etc and then lay the donation down. However, if it is your first time with a provider, don't fuck around with the donation. Remember that this is their business.

Just my two cents that I learned from Sir Spanks.

[Guest110920]

Originally Posted by FreezyIce

Great post. Very helpful. I recently was a newbie. And of course, I sent Spanky a PM asking questions. His presence on the chat boards seemed to tell me he's the go to guy around here. And because he drinks and he knows things.

Two issues that he educated me on that are not mentioned above:

Protection: Providers normally carry protection with them, especially with in calls. How ever, if you want a special brand or type, it's best to carry your own. Also, this helps you from running out of supplies. I like to go back and forth between activities. This can take up quite a few jimmy hats. Bring your own so that you don't deplete her supply and put a damper on the date.

The donation: Use an unsealed envelope, and put it in plain sight as soon as you walk in the door. If it is an outcall, have it waiting on her in plain sight. After you and the provider have a session or two and get comfy with each other, you can say hi, hug, etc and then lay the donation down. However, if it is your first time with a provider, don't fuck around with the donation. Remember that this is their business.

Just my two cents that I learned from Sir Spanks.

Thanks Freezy! You are definitely one that I can tell went about things in the right way and had a smooth transition as a result.

Great points - a couple of things to add, not to contradict in any way but just to expand on what you said.

If you bring your own protection, best if it's still in a sealed package to ensure the covers haven't been tampered with. Of course it's at the provider's complete discretion whether she's comfortable with it. I might advise not broaching the subject on the first meeting, but to wait until after some trust has been earned. It has come in handy to carry my own a few times when the provider didn't realize she was out of them or forgot to pick any up.

For the donation, it is very important to not mention it or call attention to it. Just lay it down where they can see, and don't mention it, gesture to it, or anything like that.

The envelope is kind of variable - a few providers insist on it, some don't want it, and most don't care one way or the other in my experience. I would advise always looking at the provider's showcase and/or P411 verbiage to see if she has any special instructions about that. I don't typically bother with an envelope these days unless the provider states somewhere that she wants it. Just be aware that some providers specifically don't want an envelope.

I know that some providers wish for you to excuse yourself to the restroom after laying the donation down, especially on a first meeting, so that they can verify it meets their requirements. I don't have any problems with that since I only spend time with reputable providers that I'm quite sure will still be there when I return.