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crazyassfireman98 · 10-22-2016, 03:12 PM

Ok i am 38 and enjoy sex and most every part of it. I thought my girlfriend did as well, but now on year 3, its noting more than excuses as to why she doesnt want to do anything. I dont think im bad in bed, i dont think im a pro by any means. I just dont understand? Yes cheating is bad, but what the fu?k? Ok rant over.

Hawks222 · 10-22-2016, 04:13 PM

Sorry to hear that. I don't know I guess unless I really loved her, I'd be strongly thinking of moving on. That sounds like a marriage after many years. Luckily your not married and wouldn't have a messy divorce to go through. I guess I always ask myself, is this the woman I want to be with the rest of my life? Can I put up with this for many many more years? A few times it's been no and I ended the relationship. Not gonna waste time/money on a roommate, assuming you live together. Just my 2 cents I guess. I'm 30 and single and getting tired of trying to go out and meet women, which is partly why I'm in his hobby. That and i get to live out some fantasies id never get to otherwise.

crazyassfireman98 · 10-22-2016, 04:44 PM

Thanks for the thoughts!

shyboy69 · 10-22-2016, 08:36 PM

Dated my SO before we married for a year. A year later we had a son. Then.....the chastity belt went on and I was cut off. Him being my only son, kept me married. We dont fight and have a "professional" relationship. I can say I've enjoyed ladies "WAY ABOVE MY PAY GRADE" in the hobby. Do I wish things were different? Sure I do! But I won't have changed anything. I stay for my son. And at 52, I know there will be a day when I'm not horny.

All that said if you love her and everything about her and your lives together. Then do what's in your heart! It may be hard to believe, but sex isn't everything!

DallasRain · 10-22-2016, 10:45 PM

Baby you are NOT "bad in bed" by any means! You are a sweety!!

Sometimes women have health issues that can cause them to have a low sex drive...sometimes it may be pre menopause or menopause........maybe try chatting with her about it.

In meantime,just enjoy us gals till things work out!

Estella Ayres · 10-23-2016, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyassfireman98

Ok i am 38 and enjoy sex and most every part of it. I thought my girlfriend did as well, but now on year 3, its noting more than excuses as to why she doesnt want to do anything. I dont think im bad in bed, i dont think im a pro by any means. I just dont understand? Yes cheating is bad, but what the fu?k? Ok rant over.

Of course talking to her is good advice but then again she may not be able to tell you the truth because it would hurt you more than she is willing to. I hate to say this but for many women, they never liked sex with their SO to begin with. Either they are not and never were really attracted to them physically or they were but you let what they liked go (not just weight, it could be facial hair/no facial hair, etc), or they never liked the style of bedroom activities you like (or maybe you've become lazy with her, it happens to everyone at some point). The thing is, there are so many social and societal pressures that women face that say you need to be married or in a relationship so a lot of women settle for being with someone they like a lot of things about but not really the sex, or even kissing them. They just don't realize it will be such a deal breaker for you because the importance of sex isn't as important to them. Or maybe they never thought you had that great of a sex life so it doesn't seem so weird to them that they don't miss it much and don't understand why you do.

There are actually a lot of men who need help with technique but due to egos and their fragility, most people wont ever help them out so a bad and never ending cycle begins that no one tells you is coming.
Just speaking from personal experience…I don't settle but many do. And honestly, usually the men you have the most physical chemistry with are terrible relationship partners and if she's smart she's probably learned you can't have both usually. It's sad but true. I spend all my time in my personal dating life with people I can have great endless sex with that I would not get tired of..as for the other things about them….well let's just say it speaks volumes that I'm not married. You just can't have it all from one person. You have to make choices and communicate openly about them. I hope this isn't taken as harsh but if you had a good sex life (in not only your opinion but hers too) and she was still physically into you, you wouldn't be asking this question in the first place.

But before you go too far into the hobby, I would suggest that if you really care about her, you make it clear that if she's not into it you'll find someone who is regardless of whether you break-up or not. Most civie women don't really fully understand that you complaining about sex will really lead to real infidelity and if they did, they might make other efforts or choices to make you happy. At the very least they may actually tell you what the issue is. But you can't be judgmental about it, you just need to try to see it from her side. That's the only safe way to get someone to open up fully to you and get the truth.

Sorry for the lengthy post.

JocelynJohnsin · 10-24-2016, 12:58 AM

Monogamy isn't natural ... just my opinion as a chick that used to pretend to be asleep when my SO got home from work (of 8 years). Variety is the spice of life and you only get one chance to make it epic

x"CY"ting · 10-24-2016, 03:47 AM

I agree with Joce!!!
Instincts baby!!

Nonyabiz · 10-24-2016, 06:44 PM

This is a girlfriend, right? What ever you do, dont put a license plate on her....ever. If she is acting like this now it'll only get worse. My suggestion is to forget her. Move on and focus on yourself. Stack cash, hobby as you please, but dont marry her or any American broad for that matter. Its just not worth the headache and risk these days to put up with the BS and the attitudes they all seem to have. Seeing some gals in the hobby is waaaaay more cost effective.

DallasRain · 10-24-2016, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JocelynJohnsin

Monogamy isn't natural ... just my opinion as a chick that used to pretend to be asleep when my SO got home from work (of 8 years). Variety is the spice of life and you only get one chance to make it epic

Ditto!!!!!!!!

Personally I don't look it as cheating...i see it as a "sexual necessity"!! If it works for you,so be it..enjoy!

I am a very sexual "old lady" and I am in an "open type" relationship for over 30 years....I have several "gent friends" we play with ocassionally and I will hire a provider for him a couple times a year.......and aalso he is one of the m" m" parts in my mfm/mmf sessions!!.................... .and our personal sex life is awesome!

crazyassfireman98 · 10-24-2016, 08:32 PM

I did the marriage thing once, im good wont do it again. Thanks for all the input!!

les123 · 10-24-2016, 08:40 PM

I have never been in a relationship myself but I have witnessed many (both successful and failed) from afar. Thank you ladies, for enforcing my observations. I just don't see why I should invest so much time and money just to make another human being totally miserable.

shyboy69 · 10-25-2016, 09:59 PM

Ms. Ayers post is to large to quote. My SO told me, in a conversation one day, that I never did anything for her. In or out of the sack. That she was also used to something larger then i could offer. And that I should find a way to satisfy myself. When I broached the idea of finding some physical contact for relief, she told me we're divorcing! Now I know most providers will tell what you want to hear. Because its their job. Ya know? But I truely believe I have a particular set of skills that women love. My tongue is very talented! So in that, I have no idea what came.over her. And probably never will.

My son is my only child and means the world to my. So I stay for him. I couldn't imagine not seeing him everyday! AsnI previously said, the SO and I have a professional relationship. There is no fighting. I truely believe she feels I'm happy and that we have a healthy and normal relationship. As a young man, I judged a few for staying in a unhealthy, unhappy, relationship. So I realize I have no room to judge. So OP should do what's in his heart!

Nonyabiz · 10-26-2016, 05:12 AM

Good Lord, Shyboy! Im sorry to hear you're stuck in a spot like that. My thoughts and prayer, friend. (no saracasm)

Lads, this is part of what Im talking about. Most of us have had times in our lives where we were so damn thirsty for pussy, we learned to put up with all manner to humiliation and abuse in order to just be near a vag. In fact, we began to think it normal. We're told, "be a nice guy, be a gentelman, treat her like a pirncess, make sure her wants?needs are met first" etc....only to be treated like the OP and Shy. That may have been applicable generations ago, but it most certainly leads to a ruinous life for men, today. There are options available, but it takes balls to exercise those options. Its well past time to get our balls back, Lads.

ClimaxBlues · 10-26-2016, 06:25 AM

Nonyabiz, can't pm you, mail boxes are full. Without premium access your stored message capacity is almost nil. You need to clean out all your message boxes.