And I'm a Proud Texan
Dear Diary,
Just moved to TEXAS! Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful. I've finally
found my home. I love it here.
June 4th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned
home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday
like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
June 7th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks.
What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
June 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this
kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is
taking longer than I expected.
June 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though.
Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
June 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. Sad.
I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.
June 21st:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell.
The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200
just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
June 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and I
can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?
July, 4th:
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and
gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.
July. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him.
Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are
soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
July 12th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats
in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers
of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass . . . Now my car smells
like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
July 15th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman
says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this state? Water
rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.
Even the cactus can't live in this heat.
July 18th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot to crack
the window and blew the windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and
guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend
$1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Texas . What kind of a sick demented idiot
would want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.
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