Mean-spirited, hate-filled hobbyists bash women for what reason?

[Lena Duvall]

ECCIE clients, if a particular escort isn't your cup of tea and isn't sexually desirable to you, how do you choose to navigate that in the public coed forums? (God only knows what goes down in the "Locker Room" section of this site so please spare me the sordid details.) Do you still civilly engage? Or politely ignore the companions you don't fancy. Or do you like to go the route of obsessively fixating on them and using online stalking tactics to antagonize them?

What kind of coed forum do you want for the city you live in? Should the coed forum be an extension of the men's only section? Should women remain silent and voiceless as if it's 1717 and not actually 2017? Do you like your local coed forum to be dominated by the most braggadocious clients to the point where companions are shunned? Or do you prefer hobby-related discussions that are lighthearted, cheerful and maybe even a little sexy and flirtatious?

[Luxie]

I am clearly not a hobbyist but the coed areas of certain cities is just disgusting. I think it reflects badly on this website to let pathetic trolls run rampant. It not only puts off other men looking to sign off but it pushes us, the providers, to other advertising venues.

If someone has an issue that is alert worthy then definitely post it. But that isn't what is happening. We have trolls who are eviscerating providers just because the woman isn't their cup of tea. That's not right and I do not understand why it's being tolerated.

[Luxie]

On another note, I'd like to take this time to congratulate the mods in Nebraska and Kansas City for not letting trolls infiltrate our coed section. I love my Midwest Gents. <3

[Brooke Wilde]

I'm so glad to say that I don't even notice this taking place on Eccie anymore. My ignore list is BEYOND long so a lot of stuff I don't see and if for some reason I do notice it, I just ignore it.

I don't add to the thread. I don't bump the thread. I just look to see which handles are saying awful things and add them to my block list. I can't control grown men. I can only control the way I interact with them.

I love Eccie and enjoy the lighthearted banter I have with the guys here.

[Brooke Wilde]

I answered "other" in the poll with my exact answer being ... they have low self esteem and are normally poor. Educated, professional, well-rounded men are not posting on a hooker board 7 days a week, 50 post a day. They are making money, bettering their self and out having fun.

[Guest110920]

Originally Posted by Lena Duvall

hobby-related discussions that are lighthearted, cheerful and maybe even a little sexy and flirtatious?

This by a long shot. I try to promote such discussions by posting thought provoking threads and polls in Arkansas coed. Often times they get off track because people can't seem to keep from attacking each other though.

A provider doesn't have to be my cup of tea for me to engage with her on the forum in a positive way.

I voted misogyny.

[Claire She Blows]

Apparently the OP has perused Austin Coed....

[ck1942]

Question: do you know the difference between sex and intimacy?

If, for the rest of your life you must give up one or the other, which do you choose?

There are, imo, several reasons why males hobby.

One is they feel ignored, disrespected or left behind by many of the significant females in their lives.

Sometimes, it is just the sex at home, or, should I say, the lack of it.

Sex, imo, is not a big thing. Very easily replaced in the hobby or via an affair.

Intimacy, however, is not easily replaced either by an affair nor in the hobby.

Thing is, some males can deal with losing either the sex or the intimacy or both. These males are what I call the "lovers." They usually do not exhibit lack of respect for the ladies when posting.

That leaves the other males. Those I label as "haters." And these usually out themselves either in public or in private or both.

I don't pretend to have statistical data to validate any of the above. But having been in multiple male environments for many decades, I think I am close to accuracy.

[Old-T]

Lena,

I enjoy reading many of your posts. Thank you for another one worth thinking about. You actually touch upon several things and I want to comment on only a couple of them.

First, personally, I separate wanting to meet a lady in person from talking with her on here. I have exchanged ideas with a lot of ladies on here and other sites who either are far from where I ever travel, or who do not appeal to me erotically—however they post interesting, humorous, etc., ideas, which is what I think the forums are for. When I reply in a forum, I am replying to what they say, I am not saying “I want a date with you”. If that is what I am looking for there are PMs and P411, etc.. I certainly see NO reason to tell any lady in public, “I do not find you physically appealing”. If I find someone both unappealing and uninteresting I usually skip over their posts—though occasionally I will reply if I read something I believe needs to be responded to.

But to your point about the forums and the reality that can sometimes be a machismo group-think in some of them. Yes, it has certainly been there at times. Austin, TX comes to mind. Houston. Well, to be honest, much of Texas. Kansas City has gone through some of that occasionally, as has upstate New York. I suspect that has happened in forums I don’t frequent also. Your question in those cases is “Why?” Based upon reading the posts I think the reasons vary tremendously. You have the guys who seem to lack self confidence with women, and have to come across with fake bravado. You have some who truly believe women should be barefoot, pregnant, and silent—as seem by some of the Austin crowd who complain every time a lady speaks her mind about almost anything. And you have the pimp wanna-bes who want to control the conversation, claim most the women are fat, old, and not worth the prices THEY want to pay; drive prices down and drive business to their “favorites”. This last type of poster formed a gang that did a lot to try and take over ASPD before its demise.

I am sure the lines blur among these groups, and I am sure some unpleasant folks don’t cleanly fit any of these groups.

My final point—what would I like the co-ed forums to be? Certainly not an extension of the men’s locker room. I want a place that has a mix of flirting, casual conversation, and more thoughtful conversation. A forum where I can find out about ladies I may want to meet—or ones who I just enjoy exchanging ideas with. I don’t mind a few argumentative threads—some topics are inherently argumentative. But I see no purpose for hostile and belittling threads. [Though I admit the evil side of me does occasionally enjoy taking out my filleting knives to use on someone whose hostile posts deserve it.]

A long-winded answer to your question young lady.

PS: After I posted I noticed that CK said much the same thing. Only better--as he usually does.

[Guest122317-1]

Originally Posted by Lena Duvall

ECCIE clients, if a particular escort isn't your cup of tea and isn't sexually desirable to you, how do you choose to navigate that in the public coed forums? (God only knows what goes down in the "Locker Room" section of this site so please spare me the sordid details.) Do you still civilly engage? Or politely ignore the companions you don't fancy. Or do you like to go the route of obsessively fixating on them and using online stalking tactics to antagonize them?

What kind of coed forum do you want for the city you live in? Should the coed forum be an extension of the men's only section? Should women remain silent and voiceless as if it's 1717 and not actually 2017? Do you like your local coed forum to be dominated by the most braggadocious clients to the point where companions are shunned? Or do you prefer hobby-related discussions that are lighthearted, cheerful and maybe even a little sexy and flirtatious?

God bless you Lena...This is one subject that drives me crazy to see guys treat the ladies like this.. in the career and out. Thank God I was raised by the parents I had that cherished and respected each other.

There are sites I had to just stay away from because the vast majority of the clients there were mean, belittling and corrosive towards the ladies that they should be showing gratitude and respect..

I also want to thank the mods that keep a tight reign in such behavior here..

[DocHolyday]

I hope the OP is NOT naive enough to think this is a one sided issue. There are plenty of mean spiereted, hate filked Providers who make up lies and attack hobbyists and other Providers. IMHO, the Providers are driven to do it out of jealousy and narcissism.

[DSK]

Originally Posted by Old-T

Lena,

I enjoy reading many of your posts. Thank you for another one worth thinking about. You actually touch upon several things and I want to comment on only a couple of them.

First, personally, I separate wanting to meet a lady in person from talking with her on here. I have exchanged ideas with a lot of ladies on here and other sites who either are far from where I ever travel, or who do not appeal to me erotically—however they post interesting, humorous, etc., ideas, which is what I think the forums are for. When I reply in a forum, I am replying to what they say, I am not saying “I want a date with you”. If that is what I am looking for there are PMs and P411, etc.. I certainly see NO reason to tell any lady in public, “I do not find you physically appealing”. If I find someone both unappealing and uninteresting I usually skip over their posts—though occasionally I will reply if I read something I believe needs to be responded to.

But to your point about the forums and the reality that can sometimes be a machismo group-think in some of them. Yes, it has certainly been there at times. Austin, TX comes to mind. Houston. Well, to be honest, much of Texas. Kansas City has gone through some of that occasionally, as has upstate New York. I suspect that has happened in forums I don’t frequent also. Your question in those cases is “Why?” Based upon reading the posts I think the reasons vary tremendously. You have the guys who seem to lack self confidence with women, and have to come across with fake bravado. You have some who truly believe women should be barefoot, pregnant, and silent—as seem by some of the Austin crowd who complain every time a lady speaks her mind about almost anything. And you have the pimp wanna-bes who want to control the conversation, claim most the women are fat, old, and not worth the prices THEY want to pay; drive prices down and drive business to their “favorites”. This last type of poster formed a gang that did a lot to try and take over ASPD before its demise.

I am sure the lines blur among these groups, and I am sure some unpleasant folks don’t cleanly fit any of these groups.

My final point—what would I like the co-ed forums to be? Certainly not an extension of the men’s locker room. I want a place that has a mix of flirting, casual conversation, and more thoughtful conversation. A forum where I can find out about ladies I may want to meet—or ones who I just enjoy exchanging ideas with. I don’t mind a few argumentative threads—some topics are inherently argumentative. But I see no purpose for hostile and belittling threads. [Though I admit the evil side of me does occasionally enjoy taking out my filleting knives to use on someone whose hostile posts deserve it.]

A long-winded answer to your question young lady.

PS: After I posted I noticed that CK said much the same thing. Only better--as he usually does.

Excellent post as usual.

I would add that these ladies do a very hard job and should be thanked for a service I rank up there with nurses - angels of mercy, when it is done right by a woman who can muster up a little love for someone who wants it.

Not all of them, but most of them.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by DocHolyday

I hope the OP is NOT naive enough to think this is a one sided issue. There are plenty of mean spiereted, hate filked Providers who make up lies and attack hobbyists and other Providers. IMHO, the Providers are driven to do it out of jealousy and narcissism.

Nasty people and mean posts certainly come in both genders, but the overwhelming number of posts--and almost all the gang-posts trashing people--are posted by men. Take a look at Still Looking's spew-fest on the front page of the Austin CoEd forum right now.

The guys who post that kind of anger, attacking post know it isn't going to hurt their business, but often the women who would like to reply in kind cannot, because their business will be hurt. It is especially true when the "made guys" can post half-truths and private information that is allowed to stand.

[Guest030824]

I was married for fifty years when my wife passed away. I look for some one with a good sense of humor and intelligent. I have covered a bunch of Texas in search of the "right" woman. I have found several that I truly have enjoyed.
We all know the trolls that post here on ECCIE and for the most part I ignore them. I am in search of companionship as much as the sex. I have discovered I will continue as long as I can. The coed section is open to the trolls and we should just ignore them as we would at a social. I have written only one no review and let it drop as I won't continue to rag on it.

[Luxie]

And now we have literal rape and death threats being posted. I am NEVER going to visit Austin.