How The Hobby Changes Providers

[Fast Gunn]

What have been your observations regarding how the hobby changes providers over the course of time?

When most providers start in the business, they are generally young, fresh and optimistic about how they will make so much money and it will be easy work with whatever schedule suits their lifestyle.

It all seems rosy at the start, but then slowly the business starts to take its toll on these women's bodies, minds and attitudes.

Personally, I find it very disturbing when I encounter a provider that I remembered from years back when she was just starting in the business and she was so sweet, so giving and so considerate, but now, its like it's an entirely different person inside her skin. The sweetness is gone and a cold hardness has taken its place. She no longer speaks with a polite deference that was so endearing, but with an arrogant attitude behind an angry tone that is very unattractive.

. . . What happened I wonder? Is this the typical fate of most providers if they remain in the business long enough? Is it just the demands of the work that slowly coarsens their soul or they're just doing something wrong?

[Cpalmson]

This is a hard question to answer because I personally I have not seen the same provider from the beginning of her "career" to a point where she has been providing for a long time. On the other hand, I have been with girls who are new and ladies who have been around the street. I would agree that the younger girls do have expectations that seem unrealistic. The thing with the newer girls is that they are fresh and a bit more willing, yet they lack some degree of maturity and experience. With the older ladies, the experience factor is almost non-existent. That makes being with them a bit easier; however, with the more experienced ladies, you run the risk of no spontaneity. At times, it can seem like they are going through the motions-- almost jaded like. I'm not talking about all of the older/more experienced providers, but it is a risk for the client. It is because of this, I like to see both new and more experienced providers. It gives me a variety.

BTW, I think it goes both ways. What about us guys? We change too. Not to generalize, but over time, I think we as guys tend to see providers more as a "conquest" and not a connection. For some of us, it might become more of a game. How many ladies can I be with? What is the ultimate fuck? Can I find an even hotter experience than the best one. Also, I think a guy's experience in the hobby might contribute to him wanting push boundaries-- either good or bad.

[evietaylor]

If she's good at what she does, she'll put aside her bullshit when she's *working* & you'll only see the good side. That's what being a professional is all about. If she's in a position where she needs to be a provider for financial reason's, she knows it...& she should know how to work it.

'Nuff said.

[proudoftexas]

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

When most providers start in the business, they are generally young, fresh and optimistic about how they will make so much money and it will be easy work with whatever schedule suits their lifestyle.

It all seems rosy at the start, but then slowly the business starts to take its toll on these women's bodies, minds and attitudes.

Personally, I find it very disturbing when I encounter a provider that I remembered from years back when she was just starting in the business and she was so sweet, so giving and so considerate, but now, its like it's an entirely different person inside her skin. The sweetness is gone and a cold hardness has taken its place. She no longer speaks with a polite deference that was so endearing, but with an arrogant attitude behind an angry tone that is very unattractive.

. . . What happened I wonder? Is this the typical fate of most providers if they remain in the business long enough? Is it just the demands of the work that slowly coarsens their soul or they're just doing something wrong?

I wonder how much of it is dealing with you.

[oktome]

Of course every choice we make affects our psyche to some degree. Watch the documentary about former porn stars and their feelings. I think anytime a person has to shut down all emotions to complete a task over a long period of time is going to disconnect them from others and cause emotional issues.

There are going to be exceptions of course, but in a bell shape curve I would bet the long term affects for most are not optimal. Intuition tells you that.

Part of the reason i only hobby a few times a year and keep it as a reward is to make sure it stays a very small part of my life and not a "hobby" is to keep it from having any affect on my pysche the best I can.

[B.Wayne]

It could be that some of that you describe may come from outside factors such as being influenced by the wrong person or wrong type of people. Pimps could have an effect too that in turn could drive someone nuts with the brainwashing and control I would imagine. Also, some have to keep this type of thing hidden and I would venture to guess having to live two different lives could take it's part in adding to stress if having to make up excuses ect, ect. Forbidden topic could also play a role. This could be a very complex issue. I would imagine some women when meeting a new client would have to keep guards up all over the place because they have to worry if they are meeting LE, some crazy, or whatever. Over time guys may turn into jerks wanting more for less and not appriciateing her as they once did and that could take it's course in this too I think.

There seems to be a lot of factors that can go into this so it's really a tough answer.

[proudoftexas]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

BTW, I think it goes both ways. What about us guys? We change too. Not to generalize, but over time, I think we as guys tend to see providers more as a "conquest" and not a connection. For some of us, it might become more of a game. How many ladies can I be with? What is the ultimate fuck? Can I find an even hotter experience than the best one. Also, I think a guy's experience in the hobby might contribute to him wanting push boundaries-- either good or bad.

Sex delivers a powerful dopamine hit. Just like any drug, over time, the same dosage isn't going to have the same effect.

So the brain looks for novelty. Some of the fetish stuff we're drawn to naturally. Some of it is the brain looking for a kick it can't get through normal interactions any more. It's more complicated than that, obviously, but that's a part of it. The novelty thing is just as true for women, as well.

The transaction can give the guy a sense of entitlement over what they're doing that wouldn't be there necessarily if a transaction wasn't involved. For the woman, clear boundaries need to be there and a way to communicate them. I'm sure that's one of the things a new provider lacks compared to an experienced provider.

[evietaylor]

Originally Posted by proudoftexas

Sex delivers a powerful dopamine hit. Just like any drug, over time, the same dosage isn't going to have the same effect.

So the brain looks for novelty. Some of the fetish stuff we're drawn to naturally. Some of it is the brain looking for a kick it can't get through normal interactions any more. It's more complicated than that, obviously, but that's a part of it. The novelty thing is just as true for women, as well.

The transaction can give the guy a sense of entitlement over what they're doing that wouldn't be there necessarily if a transaction wasn't involved. For the woman, clear boundaries need to be there and a way to communicate them. I'm sure that's one of the things a new provider lacks compared to an experienced provider.

Amen.

[proudoftexas]

It's not like providers are the only ones with this kind of issue.

At the end of the day, we all have to compromise ourselves in one way or another in order to function in society. Those compromises can take a psychic toll. Some people pay a higher toll than others.

For example, know anyone who is a cop? Ever notice how suspicious and closed off they are? They have a difficult time trusting anyone, because they constantly interact with people who cannot be trusted.

Ever know an EMT who rides in an ambulance all the time? They deal with death so much, at some point they have to shut down their emotions.

Same thing in a hospital. If a loved one has to be in hospital overnight, I try to spend the night there with them. I don't care how good the care is, or how professional everyone is, at the end of the day it's a job. They have to come back to work there the next day, and the day after that. They can't be getting emotionally involved in everyone who walks through the door. So they do the best they can, and move on. Constantly I find communication on turnover to be lacking, a lack of urgency on various issues, and the patient comfort comes secondary to getting their rounds in. Which I get.

Psychologists take on a burden, too, and can get jaded and formulaic about how they approach clients. Or disconnect from the people closest to them because listening feels like a job.

Or my physical trainer, who takes on 11 or 12 clients some days. After a while, he's just going through the motions.

I could go on and on. At the end of the day, if you're doing a job, even one that you love, there are going to be some aspects you dread. But you do it anyway, because it's your job. It's not necessarily unique to the hobby. Sure, the situation is more extreme, because of the intimacy involved, but it's still the same kind of dynamic of compromise that each and every one of us have to go through to some extent.

I am very sympathetic and appreciative of the women who have chosen this as their profession. I get a lot out of meeting them. I hope each one of you have figured out ways to do this that do not compromise your core values in such a way as to make you feel like less of a person. But I do know all of us have to figure out what we're willing to sacrifice to just function from day to day. That doesn't change just because we change careers. It's just different aspects of who we are that we're having to sacrifice.

[shorty]

If meeting for the first few times, the provider seems all nice and sweet. I think that's because she looks at it as a chance to get a regular or someone she can count on when she's in town. Then once everyone gets comfortable, its all about the money with less services or time from the provider.

[kusmaldo]

Yes so very true,FAST GUNN.It changes both people.You are with constantly
changing people/clients daily,Some like the "provider I'm so desparately trying
to take out to dinner have had dangerous run ins with violent customers.

on the guys side imagine if all you watch is porn,your going to think


everytime your in bed with a female that that is how it is supposed to be.
Wrong so yes it does.

It changes you

[Old-T]

Good question.

Excellent thoughts, proudoftexas.

I'll add some thoughts when I have time to type them up. I have seen beyond the mask of a number of ladies and it has affected them very differently.

[Jimmiwad]

I think the business is more difficult than most expect. What can be so hard about sex for dollars is their initial mind set I suspect. If you are attractive with a great body the attention you get is overwhelming. I know a lady who got into the business and lasted exactly 2 months. She was the flavor of the moment and had every guy wanting an appointment. She texted me at the beginning she was happy and would never be broke again, than came she was getting "burnt out", then "I feel like a piece of meat". She quit shortly after than.
Depends on the make up of the lady I suppose. If she takes her time and is selective it is probably a better life. Entertaining 400 to 500 different guys a year has to take a toll on the body. And of course knowing you are doing something most people conside just wrong has to affect her mentally.
Myself, I'm glad there are ladies that do it and I appreciate everyone of them.

[Zimmie6942]

Doesn't how there clients treat them and how the rest of society look at the profession in general have a negative effect. If everyone treated them as helping people and releasing the daily stress and pressure that men have to deal with in there jobs or running a business. For me I would of killied my self many times with the amount of pressure I have on me running over 50 furniture stores and having to juggle all the financial pressure it comes with. The only thing I have to look forward to is meeting a nice young girl who makes it all worth it. So for me over time i have grown to have more respect for the girs or as I like to call them Patriots. Its been over 5 years in the hobby, and the more I get to know providers and little by little understand where there coming from the more I respect what they do and appreciate it.

It also might be that for about 5 years before that I went to the Yellow Rose strip club every Tuesday, and would spend 4-6K a month and grew to need the service they provide every week. But providers provide a way better service that cost way less. So instead of wasting $800 to $1000 a day and waste 6-8 hours in a club - I can spend $200-$300 and it only takes an hour so I can get rid of all the stress and get back to work refreshed and only wastes an hour versus a whole day. So I can get more work done. It has helped out my business a lot. Because of all that I guess that is why I it offends me when men talke bad about a provider for any thing they do or don't do.

If more people appreciate what they did and didn't give them shit for small things things then a small part of there stress or irritation would go away. I'm sure it builds up over time that some guy you didn't want to spend time with but you do anyway because that is your job and then for what ever reason he doesn't fully enjoy his time and then he treats you bad or writes a negative review for some small issue that really doesn't matter. His dumb as still got a hot girl to sleep with him and still isn't satisfied. I understand that writing honest reviews helps keep providers providing better service.

How they are treated by there clients and society has to have a large effect on how they look at themselves and they work they do. Over time that has to build up and can leave them jaded and end up hating the profession that brings a lot of joy into my life and a lot of other men. Its the same reason I get made at my 7 nephews who take shit about the girls they sleep with and then call them sluts. It is so counter productive and stupid. Women should be rewarded and praised for sleepping around not called names and looked down on. Why as men do we try and make it harder for the next guy to sleep with girls. Its next to impossible to sleep with a girl and have you be the last guy that she ever sleeps with so why not make her feel good/proud of sleeping with you instead of her feeling guilty for sleeping around. I don't know it just seems stupid to me that if we want to sleep with more hot girls then shouldn't we work hard on making them feel good about sleeping with a lot of men.

What am I missing?

[Guest052913]

smh....