I Will Never Drink Coffee The Same Way Again

[~Ze~]

Okay, gather around and listen up...

Brew coffee
Let coffee cool
Replace filter and coffee grounds with new filter and new coffee grounds.
Pour first batch of coffee back into the coffee maker.
Brew AGAIN
Lift off

Let me tell you people something. I work nights and needed a way to stay energetic. I finally found the answer...

I just drank "double brewed coffee" and I feel like I can throw an orange at 60 percent the speed of light. Do you realize that if I had a boomerang right now I could kill god, eat his meat, and use his hide to stay warm during those long nights on the savanna? ENERGY. After drinking this special coffee I suddenly find myself triangulating coordinates and shit in my mind. I'm pretty sure if I was a floating head that I'd be able to float directly to the Bermuda triangle without stopping for directions. I have so much energy that I'm now watching half hour long sitcoms in just seconds!

You ever notice that they don't have any type of Karate for German shepherds? If dogs learned to focus their chi, just imagine how screwed we'd be? Well, I wouldn't be screwed, but you most certainly would be. Right now I could probably fight off a giant ghost flamingo made entirely from ninja stars and tasers. In fact, I'm about 85 percent certain that I could mess up a 2003 Nissan Altima, if it were to suddenly become self-aware and hostile towards me. ENERGY.

I have so much energy that I can multitask more stuff right now than your lazy ass will accomplish within the next 4 months. While I type this I'm also filming a remake of "tango and cash", done with puppets. Simultaneously, I'm also updating my match.com profile while dry humping a zebra and skiing.

And guess what? I just squeezed a New York steak with my bare hands and crushed it into individual calories! I am the ghost of Jim Varney and I will haunt you into infinity! I am the one that inspired the "blade" movies and I will triumph! I am the singularity, the way, the light, the man who can turn a normal visit to the zoo into a multiple felony getaway vacation to the andromeda galaxy and I don't take crap from anyone!!

If you want to lay around until you morph into a giant stick of butter and explode, that's your choice. But if you want so much energy that you could morph into a cybernetic plasma cheetah and beat the living sh*t out of the power rangers then I suggest you try "double brewed coffee". ENERGY.



Source

[Guest032117]

EFFIN hilarious! Too bad I'd fuck up the taste of tea and hot water in my Keurig if I tried this...

[Guest092216]

Hahaha! Love it!!! Are they giving away for free anywhere?

[pyramider]

Yet, no mention of taint being one the benefits of doubled brewed coffee.

[slowmover]

I first heard of double brewed coffee from a professional ball player. It's the best way to get a drinkable cup of coffee from a hotel room coffee maker.

“I hope if dogs take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.” ___ Jack Handy

[Boltfan]

If you drank Spark you would reach 80% of the speed of light with that orange.

[Tara Evans]

Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Hahaha! Love it!!! Are they giving away for free anywhere?

Maybe check Dunkin Donuts or Mcdonads. lol

[DarthDVader]

Double brewed coffee in principle is a good idea if the purpose is to get more caffeine ... It has some problems tho ...

If you pour an already brewed coffee into a coffee maker, you will burn the coffee and it will give you a non-pleasant bitter aftertaste ... also, you can ruin your coffee maker for there are made to work only with water ...

What options you have:
Buy a Melitta (pour over coffee maker)

https://shoponline.melitta.com/items/COFFMKRSPROVER

After brewing the first batch of coffee in your regular coffee maker, pour immediately the fresh brewed coffee in the Melitta which is already prepared with fresh coffee ...
That will make a much better tasting double brewed coffee ...

The quality of the coffee is important as well: I use Dark Roast Verona from Starbucks or Illy and have found them excellent ...

There are other ways to obtain more caffeine:
- Use a double amount of coffee ...
- Drink expresso (best brewing process that results from using steam to extract the coffee)

- 2 oz of expresso has 178 mg of caffeine
- 12 oz of coffee has 240 mg of caffeine
Two small cups of expresso will give you 358 mg of caffeine with a much better taste ... How many expresso shots can you take?: 4? 792 mg of caffeine?
Expresso: The best option IMHO ...

[Ravasher]

To avoid messing up your coffee maker just user a French drip and run the coffee through again while it is still hot. If you want to get crazy do it a third time.

[Prime Time]

[muffin101]

Originally Posted by ~Ze~

In fact, I'm about 85 percent certain that I could mess up a 2003 Nissan Altima, if it were to suddenly become self-aware and hostile towards me. ENERGY.

~Ze~!!

Street Fighter reference??



And guess what? I just squeezed a New York steak with my bare hands and crushed it into individual calories!

Very very bad news for dudes getting a HJ when ~Ze~'s gotten her caffeine fix.

Return visits not likely, due to possibly broken equipment.

*Perfect timing/opportunity to upsell lube IMHO.

Originally Posted by DarthDVader

There are other ways to obtain more caffeine:
- Use a double amount of coffee ...
- Drink expresso (best brewing process that results from using steam to extract the coffee)

- 2 oz of expresso has 178 mg of caffeine
- 12 oz of coffee has 240 mg of caffeine
Two small cups of expresso will give you 358 mg of caffeine with a much better taste ... How many expresso shots can you take?: 4? 792 mg of caffeine?
Expresso: The best option IMHO ...

Darth!!

RedBulls RedBulls and more RedBulls.....

Or dissolve caffeine pills into a regular cup of coffee.. 200mg/tablet

Instant same day withdrawal guaranteed!!

[crimson]

Ze, I'm going to assume that you had double-brewed coffee just before writing that!

[Guest032117]

SHE didnt write it. She copy and paisted the article

[TheWanderer]

I'm looking forward to trying the French drip idea this weekend. I agree that it's a good idea and I can see a problem with boiling the already made coffee.

[~Ze~]

Originally Posted by YummyMarie

SHE didnt write it. She copy and paisted the article

Sure didn't which is why I was nice enough to link the source. BUT - those that know me, and my affection for coffee... sure know that this sounds JUST like me.

My buddy brought over his chemex pot and I have been using it a LOT in his absence. It kills all oft he bitterness of the coffee, and makes it much more my style.