I'm an expert in "opening up" newbies. Many gentleman feel comfortable with me who have never tried before. I like to use stainless steel toys instead of silicone / etc. The stainless steel toys are SEXY, virtually frictionless (less lube needed, less distraction, longer playtime), and warm to body temperature! So instead of feeling the object inside of you, all you can feel is where it's stimulating you. The steel toys work wonders. The body loves them. The key is to go slow if you want to see the prize at the end. I do also have a traditional strap-on, but I'd much rather do you with my handheld steel toys, unless the fantasy of the strap-on is specifically important to you (then I'm happy to accommodate).
I start by teasing the asshole gently and slowly with my tongue or lubricated fingers. The MOST important trick in these early stages is to go super slow and tease. If you don't give the asshole what it wants right away, it will get HUNGRY and DEMANDING. I love hungry and demanding assholes. So I tease. Going too fast will make the ass scared and overwhelmed. Did you know your ass contains emotions? Sounds silly, but it's true. The nerves are connected to very intimate places in our spirits, which is why it is scary for lots of people to get fucked there, and so deeply satisfying for people who enjoy it. So I like to let that asshole know right from the beginning that I am not going to hurt it... In fact, I am going to tease it and go slow and only give it what it wants (if it's lucky)!
I start with fingers, but since I always wear black latex or nitrile gloves for penetration, this is actually a high-friction experience, so I only use my fingers (with lots of lube) for a minute or two. Mostly I want to gently penetrate slowly, and the benefit of using my fingers is to feel how a gentleman responds. An asshole might be so hungry it gobbles my fingers up quickly and easily, or it might be cautious and need very slow and gentle insertion to take my fingers. It's important to realize at what pace an ass wants to progress, and to follow it's lead. Basically, even if there is an ILLUSION that I am in charge because I'm the one doing the penetrating, in reality, the ass is always in charge. So I use my fingers first to understand what the ass is trying to tell me about how fast it wants to go.
Since a guy relaxing his asshole is an ACTIVE process on his behalf (which many do not realize), I also give some basic coaching on how to relax. I say, "Relaxing your asshole is not like relaxing your leg. Your leg is relaxed by default, so to relax your leg, you just let go... But your asshole is clenched by default (to hold things inside you). As a muscle, the sphincter needs to be exercised and to have practice being stretched in order to be able to relax more and more successfully, much like how your bicep needs training to lift a weight. So to relax your asshole, is an active process on your part. You need to flex the muscle to relax it!" So what does that look like? It is a somewhat conscious but somewhat subconscious process that each individual needs to locate in their brain. I recommend to guys who have no idea how to do it, "flex the muscle that makes your cock jump over and over and over when I say to relax". This will cause your asshole to "suck up" a finger or a toy or whatever is gently trying to work it's way in. Receiving anal play is an active process on behalf of the receiver, and that's the best way to have a quick entry and a successful session. You can't just close your eyes and "take it"!
Anything that feels "tight", I work at gently and patiently. Sometimes once the head of the toy gets in, the hard part is over for the asshole, and the head of the toy can stimulate the prostate while the neck of the toy is thinner and isn't a challenge to have sliding back and forth across the sphincter (especially since metal is frictionless). But if I know a guy wants to take more, I will gently pull back in the toy until the head presses against the sphincter from the inside of the body this time, and tease, by slowly pulling back just a tiny bit, but not so that the head of the toy is actually all the way in the sphincter muscle. Then I go back to stimulating the prostate, then back to teasing the inside of the sphincter with the head of the toy (as if I'm going to pull it out, but I don't). The sphincter likes being teased from the inside and usually opens up this way. Some people like long strokes, and some people like something different. I always communicate with my partner and focus most of my attention on this process while we are opening up.
Once the guy is fully warmed up, things can become more exciting and distracting. For me, this is the right time to incorporate oral pleasures, don a strap-on, move onto fisting, or whatever his pleasure. Once you are warmed up, it's just a matter of keeping things lubricated and clean. Sometimes, we go thru this entire process only to discover that the gent did not clean very well, and his own fecal matter causes friction inside of him which causes us to need to cease to play. So clean out well and mind your diet, for your own sake, gents!! Shit happens, and while I'm not squeamish about it, I'm disappointed when it causes us to have to stop playing just as we really get warmed up...
I'm visiting Dallas mid-late September, so maybe some of you gents will be lucky enough to experience my finesse firsthand.
Strapon Sex...Working Him Open
My Bio Page - Texas - West
