Fallen in love.

[MistaE]

I've been a hobbyist for 15 years now. Seen so many women I've lost count. I had a recent encounter with a lady and ever since we parted ways I've been anxious, distracted, and totally off-center. I've never had a time like this. And I'm not talking just about the BCD. Which was the best I've had for quite some time if ever. Ever since then I've felt the desire to not just have her again. But to just merely "be" in her presence. Be a more permanent part of her world. Now keep in mind this, I mocked men that shared what I am sharing now. I ridiculed them. Pitied them. Now it seems the tables have turned. Yes I'm quite aware its just "business". I've always told myself that and I've never, EVER come close to the way I feel about her. I've heard of this situation happening for the better. And the worst. I'm open to advice. Experiences and stories if you would like to share them here and in PM. I truly feel she's "it" for me. Usually I see a woman, have a good time, or bad. Then I begin the hunt again. Not so with her. She's all I want, no at this point after over a week I still feel as strongly about her. I haven't even browsed any ads or checked reviews looking for the next "good time". I will quit this thing of ours for her. I understand its a source of income for her and have no problem with her continuing for the forseeable future as I can't commit totally myself yet for my own "reasons". Before I met her I had no intention of quitting the hobby. I wasn't even looking for something like this to occur. I don't want her to think of me as an ATM. Nor as some douche bag trying to manipulate her into free sessions. I just want to throw it all out there to her at times how I'm feeling. And others I'm trying to keep my cool. Please keep your sarcasm and asinine comments to yourself(though I'm sure you'll post those anyways). Help.

[jughead1171]

MistaE, I don't see providers that much different from other women and if there is a chance she is your soulmate then I say give it a try but both you and her need to go into it with both eyes open. From what I have read the odds are against it working out. If it isn't in the cards move on and don't dwell on it ( I know easier said then done). Good luck.

[MistaE]

Truly easier said than done. Trust me, this totally caught me offguard. I'm one of the most cynical people here. I suppose it is true what they say. " You don't get to choose who you fall in love with." She's worth it.

[Guest061613]

Been there resonantly. You find yourself connecting on not just physical but on a emotional level. First thing you need to see if she felt the same. Are you able to peruse some one in the hobby? If there is any question you can not handle it, do not peruse it. They are women with emotions just like you and me. There feelings can get heart. Maybe even easer. If there is no one else to hurt besides yourself. If you can cope with her past. Go for it. You only live once. Good luck.

[Lone Oak]

It can happen.... you're not the first.

[PhantomofTheOpera]

Well, given what you have written, there is very little anyone here is going to be able to write/say that will make a difference to you. Like you, I had this happen but fortunately for me, it was years ago and I got lucky by not being stuck with the one I felt the way you do.

It is not worth the trouble, heartache or misfortune you are about to embark on, trust me. However, you will not understand this until you are on the other side of what you are feeling which is just lust, not love, I will point out. The way to tell if what you are feeling is real love is to ask yourself this:

How long have you known her real name and her family history? Does she do things for you just because? Are you on her mind as much as she is on yours? Do you talk about life together in a mature, non-sexual way?

Is it days, weeks or months for the above? Love is never something that can just happen because love takes time to develop yet the majority of people think that love at first sight is real. Of course it isn’t as that is just the attraction starting the process which is lust using a different guise to lure you in and getting you to think it is love. Again, I have been where you are and while it is a strange and good feeling, it is not worth the trouble as it will be a mistake long term.

Now you haven’t written if she is telling you she feels the same way towards you or that she “loves” you. Again, be real. She is a provider who is playing a part like a cog in the wheel of time wherein if she can hook you, she will. It’s in her best economic interest to do that and you know that. Go with the idea that any girl in the P4P realm is one you do not want to have as a SO or mate and you will come out just fine as going the other route is doomed to failure. For any real relationship to work, you cannot put the cart before the horse, i.e. having sex before knowing someone, and that is why 99.9999% of any P4P relationship fails once it is taken out of the P4P world and put into the real world.

My suggestion is to drop her like a hot potato and never call her again, ever. No emails, no texts, no nothing... ever and do not return any from her. She will find someone else, don't worry about that. If you do, it will be worse than what you are dealing with now. I know this from experience as well. For what is it is worth, the one I was into had me at hello and she knew it but she just used and abused me because I let her until I told her later. Don’t go their friend; you will take the long way home to sanity if you do. Just think of Billy Joel's song Stiletto... you will get my meaning.

Good luck to you, I wish you the best...

[Jackie S]

The first thing you need to find out is if the feeling is mutual. There is always the possibility that She is simply so good at Her "job" that you have fallen for what you think is the real thing.

You know the old story of the man that found the baby rattlesnake, fed it, raised it, gave it all the love and care possible. One day, he went to feed it, the snake struck, and the man recieved a fatal bite. With his dying breath, he asked, "after all I did for you, why did you bite me". The snake answered, 'because I am a Rattlesnake, that is what we do".

I wish what you had here is a "pretty woman" senario, where you meet the love of your life, and you both live happily ever after. But the reality will probably be something quite different.

I do not envy you.

[Pink Floyd]

Take a big step back. You mentioned nothing about her reciprocating those feelings. You are only looking at this from one side. I firmly believe in chemical reactions between people, but that happens very rarely. You have to look at all the signs. I have a girl who took me to Nirvana and I have seen her many times. She stood in my living room and said she loved me over and over again, but you know what, when she left I didn't hear from her for a month. Our eyes just lock every time I see her so maybe there is really something there, but the odds against anything working are very slim. I am going to fall in love with another girl tomorrow for at least 3 hours.
Seriously, if the normal courtship signs are not there, you cannot make them happen. Be honest with yourself and don't get into a one-sided love affair.

[Jimmiwad]

I think of providers and the girls who put out in high school in the same class of women. I knew girls in high school who fucked them all and had a blast. They are now married with kids living a normal life. I have never really understood the educated provider. She doesn't necessarly do it for the money as she could and sometimes does earn a good living. Maybe it is because there is something missing from her life. Hell, you maybe that missing thing. What can it cost you? A little time, lots of money (maybe), a terrible heart ache or a life time of bliss if it should work. And either way you will always know. Other wise you will spend a good part of your life wondering what could have been

[armydude]

The only way to know is to ask her out. Tell her how you feel. If shes interested she will date you. But she probably isn't because this is a job to them, you just don't know unless you ask. If your not sure, or if you don't feel comfortable asking just yet, then schedule more appointments with her. See how she acts, if she really likes you she won't mind hanging out with you off the clock. Or you could ask her to stay longer and see how she reacts. Keep us posted!

Another way to go at it is to pay her but do not ask for sex. That will prove to her you are different from the rest. These girls are not civilians, they are pros. Their mind set is totally different. It's going to take alot of proving from your end if you want to get inside this girls life.

[MistaE]

I wouldn't be feeling this way if I didn't think on some level she felt something for me. I could be wrong.
Now, let me reinforce this.
I have been in the hobby about 15 years. I'm not some newb who falls for the first girl who turns up the passion in a GFE session.
I stopped counting how many I've seen around 300. This was 4 years ago I believe.
Before my encounter with her I had no plans whatsoever to get out of the hobby. But I will for her to prove I'm genuine.
We have access to each others real world identity.
That's as far as I will go with that.
I appreciate your perspectives and hope to receive more as I sort this out.
But I suppose my main apprehension is that she is a provider so how does one TRULY know?
And will I be fool enough to not act on this and pass up my opportunity?
If she spurns me fine.
I go back to my comfortable little shell of cynism and distrust waiting for the next little tart that catches my eye.
In other words I will pick myself up and hobby on.
Keep 'em coming everyone.

[Pink Floyd]

Mista, you can't act on it, you let it happen if it is going to happen. You have to play the mating game, and if you are opening up and she is not, get the hell out of there because she will play you for a fool.

[Lone Oak]

Hobby on as long as she does.

[sixxbach]

I think the Iron Maiden classic lyric applies here.....

"Run to the hills.... run for your lifeeeeeeeeeeeee....."

sixx

[armydude]

I say he should be honest and tell her how he feels. If he's not ready yet, then schedule some more appointments to feel things out. Sometimes things take time. It sounds to me like they are on friendly terms already, if they have access to each others real world info. As I said earlier, there are a few things you could do to see if she's interested, sorta like a test if you will.

Say you meet for an hour, when your time is up, ask if she can stay longer OTC. From there on, note her reaction. Is she cool with it? Is she willing to stay? Or does she make excuses to leave? Does she get angry? Any girl who really diggs you will be willing to stay OTC. (and I don't mean just 10 minutes, lotsa girls hang around for an extra 5 or 10 minutes so you'll give them a decent review). I mean really stay, to chat and hang out for awhile. If she can't stand you or is annoyed that you asked, it will all show in her reaction. Simple. Some girls are true business women, which is understandable. They are here for the business only, they aren't willing to stay longer without donation. Not knocking them, it's just the way it is. Try to figure out which way this girl swings. Is she all business and leaves when time is up? Or does she dig you enough to hang around?

Or you could ask her if she would like to go grab a bite to eat or get a drink or stay to order room service. That way you don't look like a user, but you still get to see how she reacts and if she's willing to stay OTC.

With that said, yes, this a business, but it's a very human business loaded with emotions and intimacy. She may really like you, she may not. I'm curious how this is going to turn out.

I have to ask you, if she is willing to date you, but not quit escorting since you can't financially take over, are you sure your going to be OK with her seeing other men?