A hobby full of fear

[tornado82]

Fear is the main factor that keeps this hobby from blossoming as it should. It is more prevalent on BP, but still exists here. I have documented four predominant fears shared by both clients and providers alike.

1) Fear of Law Enforcement
2) Fear of Bad Performance
3) Fear of Disease
4) Fear of the Unknown

The first fear doesn't need an explanation. The second one is more common on BP with providers who have no reviews. If you're walking in blind, you have no idea if you're gonna get your money's worth. Number three is the main fear for providers who do any services covered. Number four includes things like bait-and-switch, pimps, setups, and any other surprises that may come from a client, provider, or third party.

Every single one of you has or has had one of those four fears when engaging in a session. All of those fears are very real and can happen. The likelihood of them happening varies. As for eliminating those things that we fear, well, let me know when you find a way.

[TravelingGentleman]

Tornado:

It's not as grim as you think - consider changing how you hobby.

You Get What You Pay For
Looking at your review history, a couple things stand out.

1. Backpage: Backpage is the same as a corner hooker who discovered the internet. The first lesson for any hobbyist is to stay away from backpage. Pimps, cons, set-ups, ghettos, bait-and-switch, cops - unless you're visiting a well-reviewed provider on backpage that has popped up on TER, ECCIE, or USA, you shouldn't be there.

2. 15-30 minute Ghetto Booty: There's Whole Foods, there's Publix, there's Walmart, and then there's the "I'm too cheap to go to Walmart ghetto stores" that compete with the trucks on the side of the roads selling the "I hijacked a semi truck and now have 50 cases of Tide to sell for $1 each." You're not even shopping at Walmart, you're bouncing from the road-side stands to the ghetto stores. Step it up a notch.

Safety
1. Law Enforcement: The benefit of a well-reviewed provider is that you don't have to worry about law enforcement.

2. Disease: That's what condoms are for. Female condoms are awesome by the way.

3. Unknown / Bad Performance: That's why all the hobbyists here write reviews - so you can read them to see what to expect.

General Guidance
You have a lot of no reviews. Consider stepping it up a notch in quality.

Personal perspective here: You seem desperate. I'm not saying that you need to pony up $1000 for every visit or make it a half-day endeavor, but you're fishing around in the very bottom of the barrel for Walmart rejects. I'm ultra-paranoid, and when I screen a provider (safety, security, intelligence, understanding) - they mostly get screened out.

Put another way...I'm very particular about wine. When I go out to dinner, I prefer water if the wine list doesn't have something I like on it. I'd prefer to drink water than to lower my standards.

Don't drink it just because it's wet. Figure out some standards, and stick to them - right now, you appear to have none. Your buffet selection will shrink, but I suspect all of those "no" reviews of yours will start to be outweighed by better experiences.

[Victoria Columbari]

Well said Traveling Gentleman.

[RafaelH]

It's not fear that's holding this hobby back, it's legislators too spineless to change the laws. Given my experience in the brothels in Nevada, I'm not sure I'd prefer legalization due to the regulations that would likely be enacted.

I think the OP needs a new hobby.

[JohnnyYanks]

Originally Posted by tornado82

... Every single one of you has or has had one of those four fears when engaging in a session ...

I am usually annoyed by those who claim to know the unknowable, those who deem speak for another's unique experience.

But in this case, I am curious -- what makes you think you can buttonhole my, or anyone's, experience? Is your world that finite, OP?

[cowboy8055]

Avoiding bottom feeders on BP will help minimize the fears of hobbying. Stick to gals you can research. With some diligence it is possible to avoid the pitfalls of the hobby.

[Boudin3112]

The way I see the question is how do you deal with fears of the hobby. And whether you admit or not each of us as people have felt fear. It just seems whenever someone posts something on the board, people attack. Telling him to hobby different was not the question. Hobby however you want, I admit I had fears. I dealt with them the same way I try to deal with all fears, head it face on. Iffear of sting, I make a plan for worst case scenario, getting busted, and determine if the risk is worth the bennefit. Risk is evaluated several ways, if repeat prostitute less risk for me, if steer walker, higher risk. We all balance risk with benefit, if fear too great I do not do it or at least I try.

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by tornado82

Fear is the main factor that keeps this hobby from blossoming as it should. It is more prevalent on BP, but still exists here. I have documented four predominant fears shared by both clients and providers alike.

1) Fear of Law Enforcement
2) Fear of Bad Performance
3) Fear of Disease
4) Fear of the Unknown

The first fear doesn't need an explanation. The second one is more common on BP with providers who have no reviews. If you're walking in blind, you have no idea if you're gonna get your money's worth. Number three is the main fear for providers who do any services covered. Number four includes things like bait-and-switch, pimps, setups, and any other surprises that may come from a client, provider, or third party.

Every single one of you has or has had one of those four fears when engaging in a session. All of those fears are very real and can happen. The likelihood of them happening varies. As for eliminating those things that we fear, well, let me know when you find a way.

None of those fears has occurred in my hobbying days ... but I also do my research ...


The OP might need to find another hobby. I hear quilting is fun.

[ICU 812]

Originally Posted by RafaelH

It's not fear that's holding this hobby back, it's legislators too spineless to change the laws. Given my experience in the brothels in Nevada, I'm not sure I'd prefer legalization due to the regulations that would likely be enacted.
.

Lotta good stuff here. Travelling Gent is spot on. RatFaceH also has a real point on LE and lawmakers too (see quote)

When it comes to the LE though. consider that the elections are just over 60 days away now. I encourage all committed Hobbyists and Providers to look into the Libertarian candidates.

[thecooldude]

I cringe at the thought of hooking up with a backpage provider. It's like playing Russian Roulette. Just the other day, a guy on the job got busted and his picture plaster all over the local news. I agree with Travelinggentleman; pay the premium, it's a whole lot safer.

[tornado82]

Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

But in this case, I am curious -- what makes you think you can buttonhole my, or anyone's, experience? Is your world that finite, OP?

I'll give you an example. How many providers have you done BBFS with? Every time you use a rubber, it means either you, the provider, or both of you fear disease. I've been offered BBFS before and declined because I feared disease.

[JohnnyYanks]

Originally Posted by tornado82

... Every time you use a rubber, it means either you, the provider, or both of you fear disease ...

The example you give may mean that for you, but it doesn't mean the same thing for me.

Just because one is not desirous of an outcome does not mean one fears said outcome. During my poker playing days I folded many a hand. I wasn't fearful of losing my chips. It was that losing my chips was a less desirous outcome than winning my opponent(s) chips. Folding is/was a prudent part of an overall (poker) life strategy.

Healthy decisions need not be fear-based. They might, in many cases, instead be labeled as "life affirming."

Not drinking and driving need not be labeled as a fear of dying/killing. It might simply demonstrate a strong interest in living.

[Permission2Look]

I don't use a condom because I fear disease. I wear one because Kanye "18years. 18years. Got 1 of yo kids got you fo 18years."

[Harley Diablo]

I am older than some on this site and have been in and out of the hobby for 50 years. We all have the fears but it is the thrill of the chase thats makes us keep going. Over the years before I joined eccie, I used BP and women I knew from the streets or neighbor hood. Yes had several close calls, had to fight my out a couple of times, but also had some of the best times ever in the hobby with unknowns and no way to verify. I am to old for that chase today but fear is real and you just need to understand going in if you cannot afford the chance then dont do it.
I also have had some great times on eccie but also have met some providers that were more dangerous than BP.
Just my years of experience for what it is worth. I still choose the hobby over being married and have to share my life and decision making.

[Solid_Snake]

umm... are yall not worried about getting herpes or hpv? Condoms don't protect your pubic region just sayin. Honestly that is my biggest and only fear. The anxiety I get during and after a session just makes it not worth for me.