Sung to the Tune of "Down in the Valley"

[Poet Laureate]

I saw a provider, the first time in years
And to my great pleasure, allayed all my fears
Allayed all my fears, oh, allayed all my fears
And to my great pleasure, allayed all my fears

I conquered the urges, to come way too fast
I used my best efforts, at making it last
Making it last, oh, at making it last
I used my best efforts, at making it last

A great fifteen minutes, yes they truly were
There’s nothing to do now, but spend time on her
Spend time on her, oh, spend time on her
There’s nothing to do now, but spend time on her

So down in the valley, between those soft thighs
I give her loving, hearing her cries
Hearing her cries, oh, hearing her cries
I give her loving, hearing her cries

Lips tongue and fingers, working as one
Sometimes I linger, prolonging the fun
Prolonging the fun, oh, prolonging the fun
Sometimes I linger, prolonging the fun

Her body is arching, it’s clear off the bed
Her long legs are locked tight, right round my head
Right round my head, oh, right round my head
Her long legs are locked tight, right round my head

I get her to shudder, I get her to cream
I give her another, now I hear her scream
Now I hear her scream, oh, now I hear her scream
I give her another, now I hear her scream

Back on the pillows, collapsed with a sigh
Softly but clearly she whispers Oh My!
She whispers Oh My, yes, whispers Oh My
Softly but clearly, she whispers Oh My!

Now I lay beside her, expect her to sleep
Instead she turns to me, and kisses me deep
Kisses me deep, oh, she kisses me deep
Instead she turns to me, and kisses me deep

I know I must leave now, to stay would be wrong
Because my appointment was a half hour long
A half hour long, oh, a half hour long
Because my appointment was a half hour long

I paid the donation, I put on my clothes
I’m leaving light-hearted, and free of my woes
Free of my woes, yes, free of my woes
I’m leaving light-hearted, and free of my woes