Divorce Question (New York State)

[RochBob]

I am considering getting a "No Contest" Divorce in New York State. It should just be a matter of filling out the paperwork and filing it with the Court (unless the SO wants to fight over the Pets). We have no joint financial accounts (bills or banking), Kids or Property. And before you ask. No, we do not own a home (we currently live in my Mother's house). We lost our "home" (which was owned and being paid for by the SO) when she decided to stop paying the Mortgage on it and didn't tell me about it. We each own one of our two cars.
I know I can probably fill out and download the forms from someplace like Legalzoom.com. But would feel better if my Lawyer filed the paperwork. Since I am trying to avoid the expense of his consultation fee. Does anybody happen to have an idea of how much this should cost me? Ballpark is good enough.

[ck1942]

You already paused and passed on the best answer....

1) see what the cost of downloading the no fault paperwork is and check with the local court clerk regarding filing fees and court costs. Ask also if spousal signatures are required. Are court appearances mandatory. Most clerks (call on Tuesday thru Thursday) will answer a few questions. Alternatively, most answered might be in Google.

2) Open phone book, look for "family practice" attorneys, and call three or four of them and just ask.

[LittleMiss]

I did this here in Texas. In total, with legalzoom fees and court filing fees, it was under $700 and was about even for both the paperwork, and the filing.

I know you probably have a good reason for wanting your lawyer to file, but when the packet of paperwork comes to you after you fill in the blanks online, it is in a folder, with step by step instructions of what to do. They even type up the petition you have to verbally speak to the judge when you stand in front of him.

It was 63 days, would have been 62, but it fell on a Sunday. So long as you stay on top of it and you guys are getting along well enough to meet at a notary, you can have it all done in the minimum time your state allows. I would probably guess that you would get it done cheaper and quicker if you did it yourself.

I was pleased with the legal zoom process, and felt it was fool proof. If you can follow simple instructions, you're good to go.

I will say, I think in all, I made 1 trip to see him so we could see a notary, and I think 3 trips total to the courthouse. Once to petition, once to stand in front of the judge, and one to get the stamp of approval.

Good luck!

[LittleMiss]

You will have to check your state rules but here in Texas, signatures of BOTH parties were required.

[guest043013-2]

For future reference, you can probably save some money on a Texas divorce by going to this website rather than paying legal zoom.

http://texaslawhelp.org/resource/do-...urt-forms-free

[Liliana Vess]

I'd recommend finding a non-profit legal advice website online for your state - these will usually have step-by-step instructions on the entire process and, if it's like the TX one, all of the paperwork. As long as you read it carefully, the paperwork is very straightforward. All in all, my costs came up to the state filing fee, plus $10 or so to file it online (I used onelegal.com). The ex signed a waiver of citation and that had to be notarized, but it allowed me to do everything in just one trip to the courthouse for the entire process. Highly recommend waiver of citation if available!

It can make you a little nervous to do it on your own, but it really reduces the time, aggravation, and costs.

[Liliana Vess]

Originally Posted by tigercat

For future reference, you can probably save some money on a Texas divorce by going to this website rather than paying legal zoom.

http://texaslawhelp.org/resource/do-...urt-forms-free

Great minds think alike! That is the website I used and it really made things painless.

[sky_wire]

Check out nolo.com for top-notch do it yourself legal references. One question: Do you and your SO agree on the division of property? If so, things “should” go smoothly. I say “should” because community property (as in NY and TX) isn’t so simple. What about credit cards and other debt? A $50,000 credit card debt can be communality property too. If SO can’t pay, creditors may come after you. Sounds like your SO didn’t handle the mortgage too well. Does she have money problems that you don’t know about? These could come back to haunt you. Any pensions, insurance, or retirement savings? State law may have rules regarding division of this property.

Suggest you and your SO each get a free credit report. Go to the government site, not a scam sight. All debt’s must be covered in your agreement. Good luck.

[RochBob]

Thank you all for the useful advice. And Yes Sky Wire. One of the biggest concerns I have is my SO's possible hidden debts. This is just one of the major reasons I think its time to part company. She has what is called a "Careless Money Management" personality. Forgetting to pay debts, not paying attention to her finances, spending money she doesn't have, etc. I haven't found any "smoking guns" when I have run the yearly free credit report in the past. But last Year when applying for a Home Improvement loan to have the Roof replaced. The Company I was dealing with was able to pull up some debts I didn't know about when they ran their credit check with the SO as join applicant on the Loan. I ended up getting the loan with out her on it. She has always been and continues to be very secretive about her finances. And trying to get her to assist with paying the household bills is like pulling teeth. There was a 2 and a half Year period where (near as I could find out) she had no debts and I was paying all of the household bills. But she was constantly broke and her checking account always overdrawn? This from a woman who has a $42,000 a Year income?

[jframe2]

Get an attorney versed in Divorce Law in your state. If you itemize your taxes, write it off as legal expenses.

If you hurry, you might find one in the next 6 hours and can count it on your 2012 Return. (going for a little laughter here)

[sky_wire]

It sounds like you'll be the one paying for the roof since you cosigned the loan. Why didn't her debts show on the credit report you ran? That sounds fishy. One big problem is that you are STILL married and STILL living together. Hell, you’re not even legally separated. If she continues to accumulate debts, you could be liable (community property).

Don’t mean to sound snarky, but here I go anyway. She makes 42K, but she’s living with YOUR mother? What’s your income like? Ever think of throwing her ass out on the street and suing her for divorce? You know men get alimony too. On the other hand, contested divorces are a total mess. Everyone loses except the lawyers.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t look like something you’ll be able to do on the cheap. Suggest finding a lawyer concentrating in family law. Look for a 20-something year old lawyer vs. one who’s been in business 50 years. Lawyers starting out usually have rates that are more reasonable. Try the local city or county bar association for referrals. That’s usually much more effective than picking a lawyer with a fancy website. Normally before a bar association will refer a lawyer, he must undergo “some” vetting. At least you won’t get a lawyer whose license has been suspended.

Maybe you could tell the lawyer up front that you’re doing the divorce yourself; however, you want to pay for a 1 or 2 hour session of legal “admonishments/warnings/pitfalls to avoid.” Tell him that you’ll pay in cash, and the attorney-client relationship ends the moment you walk out the door. This tells the lawyer that he won’t be bothered with “one more question” phone calls or any other contact. This will make him much more willing to meet with you. Take along an up to date credit report from one of the big 3 agencies and a list of all assets belonging to you and your wife. This includes ALL assets whether individually or jointly owned.

GOOD LUCK!

[jframe2]

Due to the unknowns you maybe facing, this is exactly when you need an attorney who has been doing it for 50 years.

After all this crap you are going through, you are gonna balk on spending money to get experienced advice? You need answers at the appointment with the attorney. Not, " I will research it and get back to you." You need a plan of action when you leave the attorney.

I use attorney's often in my business and have decided that if you are going to get one, get the biggest, baddest motherfucker you can find and afford, cuz the other side will go hunting for the biggest attorney they can afford thinking it as a strategic response on their side.

For me, it is a cost of doing business. For you, it will probably be deductible on taxes or some such benefit in your future.

I will leave you with a few positives to start the new year; you may not be responsible for every debt she incurs during your marriage- if she forged your name to get credit, if she lied on any type of credit application and included your name, etc.

The first thing you should do is get a Free Credit report through the gov site as previously stated. It will give you some idea of what her debt is.

Good luck

[RochBob]

Thank you for all the good advice. To clarify a few things. I already have an Attorney from other past legal proceedings and will most likely engage him or his firm at some point (yes, they do Matrimonial Law). We do not "Live with my Mother". We actually live in her old house. She and my stepfather were moving to North Carolina at the time we lost our house and let us move into the house rent free as long as we keep it up and pay the taxes on it. This was supposed to only be a short term thing until we could afford to either buy the house from them or a new one of our own. Here we are Eight and a half Years later still in the same house with no money in the bank. This with a combined Gross income of $85,000 - 100,000 depending upon which Year you want to go with. Since I'm her third husband. I expect the old debts that popped up when the credit report was run on her were under her former names. But her SS# should have been the same? Anyway the financial end of this is only one of the reasons I feel its time to part company. I won't go into the other details here. But I have more than sufficent evidence to get the Court on my side if she decides to get nasty.

[sky_wire]

Brother jframe2 and I will simply have to agree to disagree. ;-)

An uncontested divorce for a couple of modest means with no children should be fully within the skill level of an attorney recommended by the local bar association. Actually, it should be within the skill level of a 3rd year law student working at a legal aid clinic.

You’ve got no kids, which is often the number 1 complex issue. Laws are very specific regarding child support. No couple, no matter how reasonable their intentions, can bargain away a child’s legal rights. It’s no fun getting sued for 15 years of child support when the youngin’ grows up and decides he wants a motorcycle. It happens.

Sure her debt is an issue; however, for a lawyer who’s versed in the community property laws of New York, this is not rocket science. Hate to say it, but the law might be idiot simple – you owe half no matter what. Whether American Express will bother with an ex-spouse is another matter entirely.

BTW don’t tell the wife you’ve spoken with a lawyer.

[jframe2]

Hi Skywire and HNE!

My anticipations are that it very, very rarely goes quietly and with agreement.

But with the OP's last post, I think he has his plan of action and just needed a little re-enforcement.

HNE to All!