Definition of respect...

[Tiffani Jameson]

I had a very interesting conversation about expectations of ladies and gents in reference to meeting for an encounter. Of course, the way most ladies sum it up is that both parties should be "respectful". Although Webster's define respect as to reverence, or a manifestation of personal quality and ability, what it ultimately means to me is to put your best forward when you meet a person. Not to kneel and bow as a requirement (unless that's the plan), but go into the situation expecting to get the best out of it. What better reason to respect a person than an impending inevitable sure-thing intimate encounter?

But the argument was because of it's definition, you cannot actually respect someone before getting to know them. The only thing you can do is "treat them like a normal person." Also that respect of feelings, property and anonymity can come before respecting them as a person. I see the point. Respect is earned. But I have had two people on separate occasions use that exact phrase. And because the definition of the word 'normal' is so broad that it has to differ from person to person, it prompted me to pose this question.

I believe that since the expectation of intimacy looms in the foreground of our meetings, there has to be a certain degree of preconceived respect even in choosing a lady to spend time with, or even agreeing to meet a gent. Warm hugs, friendly and sometimes candid conversations, and the ability to not be put off about kissing someone within 5 to 30 minutes of meeting someone for the first time. What do you call that? Treating someone like a normal person? What's your definition of 'normal' in this arena anyway? What do you call the niceties before the BCD activities?

[Guest083011]

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

The only thing you can do is "treat them like a normal person."

..... the ability to not be put off about kissing someone within 5 to 30 minutes of meeting someone for the first time. What do you call that? Treating someone like a normal person? What's your definition of 'normal' in this arena anyway? What do you call the niceties before the BCD activities?

Are we all normal here? Maybe that's the bigger question (and thread).

The old cliché of "treat others as you would like to be treated." If I show compassion, warmth and caring to the lady I am seeing, I hope the same would be returned. (to paraphrase Ans on another thread, if I go in expecting a vibrant person who views our meeting as a fun thing that hopefully both people can walk away with a smile, I would have shown her respect). Now mind you, I do not suffer fools lightly, so the lazy or not so intelligent get me going (and by intelligent street smarts and common sense are what I mean. My sister is book smart but not a lick of common sense).

And before I forget, "5 to 30 minutes" before kissing?! Why wait so long? I love to kiss.

[charlestudor2005]

I somewhat agree w/ the OP. "Respect" is earned.

In my workplace, it is often said by mgmt that you have to respect your co-workers. Well, some of those co-workers I could never respect. They haven't earned it and could never earn it.

But I do say I can be professional with them. I may not respect them, but I can treat them professionally. I think the same dynamic works in the hobby. It's not because I can't respect a provider...it's because I haven't known her on a personal level long enough to develop respect. But I can act professionally. And that entails following a certain etiquette, employing courtesy and thoughtfulness, and acting professionally.

[atlcomedy]

It is an interesting question but in my mind largely academic (although some of you like those kinds of questions).

On the surface this may seem like circular logic, but bear with me:

Who Cares!!!!???? People use words improperly all the time. "Respect" is just one example. Don't get hung up on what Webster's says. Focus on an individual's - be it an escort, a client, your grandmother or a toll booth worker - behaviors. I do think we all should be able to treat a complete stranger with an appropriate level of politeness.

[Rudyard K]

You can get a pretty good idea of someone's respect for other's by the way they treat a waiter or waitress.

[..]

re. respect, the most powerful maxim in history is Rabbi Hillel's: "That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn."

[John Bull]

Originally Posted by ..

re. respect, the most powerful maxim in history is Rabbi Hillel's: "That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn."

Word!

[Tiffani Jameson]

Thank you guys for your input. I like people a lot, and I'm quite observant. Until the word was explained to me by several people, I didn't notice how differently people felt about it. Of course people are different and our approaches to meeting new people in certain settings are different, but not where they automatically separated in their mind 'I don't respect this person'.

As for me, I'm from the South, and I don't believe in walking past a person and making eye contact without smiling or saying hi. In professional situations, I still smile and speak and engage the screw-ups in conversation as long as they're nice (and they usually are because I'm the one that does their quarterly evaluations for bonuses and terminations.). I agree with SR's version of respect. Treat people how you want to be treated.

Now I've noticed over the years there are certain people that make statements like "I can't respect a person who...". My best friend gives people that "what're you looking at?" look when people are too nice to her, no matter where she is (forgetting that she's absolutely gorgeous). I know people where the nicer you are to them the less they like you because they think you're kissing ass.

And it's very true RK, that to some people that those in the service industry including this one, are just 'the help' no matter how good they are at their job. But I think that's a form of elitism, can come off as rude. But like CT said, employing the proper etiquette, thoughtfulness, and being polite go a long way in an intimate setting. I just never gave it any thought that what I was showing, was or wasn't respect.

Thank you again for your responses, gents!

[Randy4Candy]

How about using manners? You're a southern gal...

[Gryphon]

To me there's a difference when meeting with a provider between common courtesy and respect. Common courtesy is being polite, on time, showered, with the proper donation. Respect is behaving as I would on a "civilian" date.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by Randy4Candy

How about using manners? You're a southern gal...

Never said I had a problem with being rude. As a Southern woman I believe using manners is being respectful.

Originally Posted by Gryphon

To me there's a difference when meeting with a provider between common courtesy and respect. Common courtesy is being polite, on time, showered, with the proper donation. Respect is behaving as I would on a "civilian" date.

I understand completely. You know enough about the lady TO respect her, and want to know more about her.

[Doove]

Originally Posted by Rudyard K

You can get a pretty good idea of someone's respect for other's by the way they treat a waiter or waitress.

And by how many times they resort to personal attacks and name calling on an anonymous internet message board.

[Rudyard K]

Originally Posted by Doove

And by how many times they resort to personal attacks and name calling on an anonymous internet message board.

Yep, it's a failing of mine. I have little respect for the kid who runs in the house yelling...Mommy, he hit me back!!

[Doove]

Originally Posted by Rudyard K

I have little respect for the kid who runs in the house yelling...Mommy, he hit me back!!

So half the male population in here runs around yelling.....Mommy, he hit me back!! ? And only those on the liberal side of the political spectrum?

Or let me be more direct. You're full of it. Try again.

[Guest083011]

Originally Posted by Rudyard K

You can get a pretty good idea of someone's respect for other's by the way they treat a waiter or waitress.

Unless I receive truly lousy service I tip them well. And I leave money for house keeping each night at a hotel (see the thread from a few months ago). It's a thankless job. When I am on a "date" I sure as heck want enough towels AND to be left alone. I've had a few SB impressed that I always leave a few bucks for housekeeping, even at the notel.