google pizza

[darkwader]

CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza?

GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?


CALLER: My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:

According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered

an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms

and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER: OK! That’s what I want …

GOOGLE:

May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula,

sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?

CALLER: What? I detest vegetables.

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER: How the hell do you know?

GOOGLE:

Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.

We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:

Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE:

Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.

According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol

tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER: I paid in cash.

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:

That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER: WHAT THE HELL?

GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:

Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and

all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV,

where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…

[bored@home]

Spin it to a Black Mirror episode and reap in the merits

[VanillaCreme]

[Tera Paris]

There was an episode of X-Files this past season that was absolutely amazing. It’s a silent episode with Mulder and Scully having difficulty with increasingly aggressive robots and how the robots shared the information with each other.

Maybe unironically, if you Google “X-files silent episode” there’s an article that compares it to Black Mirror.

[rexdutchman]

Sadly its coming to that ^^^ X - files great show Is that the episode that starts in the restaurant funny shit

[Tera Paris]

Yes! I thought it was absolutely brilliant.

[CG2014]

They now have body scanners, fixed and mobile (on a van or truck with cameras and scanning everyone on the street, it's been used at the Super Bowl, NFL games, and other sports and concert events without your knowledge), at bus stations, subway stations, train stations, that scans 2000 people per hour and look for signs of fidgeting, sweat, unusual behavior like not making eye contact with other people, raised body temperature, nervousness, perspiration, standing away from the crowd, and then tag them and put them into the system to ID them from the databases of driver's licenses so they can put on the no fly list for 90 days.

Remember the movie Minority Report where they can prevent crimes and murder from happening using biometric data from scanning people.

That machine now exists and it's coming too.

Also look up TSA Blue Skies program.

http://fortune.com/2018/07/30/tsa-qu...-surveillance/

[Tera Paris]

That’s also like that show, Person of Interest. I’ve only caught it a couple of times but the premise is interesting (the delivery is kinda corny).

I thought Minority Report had “seers” or something like that. Weren’t there three of them and they’d have premonitions? Or am I thinking of a different movie?

[CG2014]

Minority Report had human seers but now they have machines that will do the same thing and predict when someone will be prone to committing crimes.