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Guest032112 · 09-26-2010, 11:01 AM

OK, I'll be the first to admit, that I haven't been the party responsible for the purchase of condom's ephemistically known in the hobby as the raincoat. Shortly after the birth of child #2, I was fixed, so I shoot blanks making the need for home protection unnecessary. Of course abstinance on the part of Mrs. Ark generally solves that problem, too. For a foray outside the hobby, I found myself in the position of making the "protective" purchase. While I'm a normally highly observant person, when it has been time to dress Mr. Happy, I haven't carefully read the package, but was only concerned with its contents and making Mr. Happy . . . .well, happy.

So my trip to Kroger for protective shopping discovered they keep the damn things under lock and key. The only key exist in the 60ish looking lady who appears to be the horniest person in the store and she gives you the look that says "I know what you're doing, wish it was me, I haven't had it in years". If you don't know the look, pm me and I'll direct you to the proper geographic location of the aforementioned Kroger.

So my purchase ended up being Ultrathin Trojans with spermicide. Now once again, I'll admit to not fully reading but truth in labeling should make this model read. . . . "These are great if you have a pencil dick and may cut circulation to the member when properly installed" Round 1 went just fine until you figure out if these things are tight enough to be ultrathin for added pleasure, there's no place for the load to go. Makes a big mess and you might shoot the thing across the room (think rubber band at 10 feet).

The next truth in labeling should read, "May cause numbness". For the beginning of round 2 anything that has come in touch with the "pleasure lengthening product " is in danger of coming in contact with the continued effort for more pleasure . . . think transfer of said chemical during DATY, BBBJ, playing with digits, etc. The bottom line here is my lips were numb, Mr. Happy was in shock from lack of circulation, and even the sound of opening another condom package caused him to lay down.

So this begs the question. . . . the next time I go "Krogering" what is your favorite brand? Or should I just ask the horny lady with the key?

Lily Blair · 09-26-2010, 11:21 AM

Yes luv, avoid the spermicide. It's very irritating. Youre fixed so thers no reason to murder your sperm as soon as it has escaped. Also, if I remember correctly, you're definitely not a Trojan ultrathin kinda guy. I would recommend Trojan Ecstasy condoms. They have a wider gauge than other condoms, the point being to create a looser fit to feel more natural.

The horny lady with the key would have probably told you she preferred a bareback experience considering she hasn't had sex since before HIV was even discovered. So yeah, no need to ask her

guest071811-3 · 09-26-2010, 11:22 AM

Ask the horny lady with the key.. lmao.. i went into a kroger over in west LR.. near shackleford and markham.. was shocked to see them locked up.. i ended up standing there, handling various boxes..seemingly weighing my options..looking deep in thought..all the while the person with the key stands just off to my right..staring at me..having to wonder what the hell i am studying about.. to which i mumble under my breath.. "i never know just how big the guys will be" the "kid" gets a chuckle turns red and spins quickly around and dashes back into the pharmacy area..

as a side note i prefer thin ones..do not like spermicide as it irritates the HELL out of my skin..

jon5150 · 09-26-2010, 11:31 AM

I agree with Lilly, I started using Trojan extacy and it's as close to wearing nothing that u can get. And the lady I was with also said she liked the feeling as well.

MacTheKnife · 09-26-2010, 01:30 PM

The only place I can find my size of condoms is at Wal-Mart.

When I purchase them, it is embarrassing to see the looks on the faces of the check out ladies when I have 12 of them in my shopping cart.

jon5150 · 09-26-2010, 01:56 PM

Lmao!!!!

urhuckleberry · 09-26-2010, 03:48 PM

Anybody try the Trojan "Fire and Ice"?

Damn interesting sensation(s)!

Huck

MacTheKnife · 09-26-2010, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by urhuckleberry

Anybody try the Trojan "Fire and Ice"?

Damn interesting sensation(s)!

Huck

"We" have.

And the Lady told me to never bring that MF type of condom with me again.

urhuckleberry · 09-26-2010, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacTheKnife

"We" have.

And the Lady told me to never bring that MF type of condom with me again.

That's funny... a lady introduced me to them... she enjoyed them very much, as did I. Started out icy and got warmer - friction?

Not to be confused with Durex "Fire" which will "heat up" both participants in an unpleasant manner...

JME.

Huck

figure_artist · 09-26-2010, 05:13 PM

This is a fantastic discussion and an educational one. I myself am a newb with condom variations. To be honest I always worried about the integrity of those ultra thin ones or the Trojan Ecstasy.

A couple of stupid questions if anyone would be merciful:

1. How does one know if a condom is too tight? I realize pain is an indication but it shouldn't just come off easily though, right?

2. Is there a more reliable brand than Trojan?

3. What's the deal with lube versus condoms?

Any info anyone felt like providing would be massively helpful.

Humbly,

fa

Guest032112 · 09-26-2010, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by figure_artist

A couple of stupid questions if anyone would be merciful:

1. How does one know if a condom is too tight? I realize pain is an indication but it shouldn't just come off easily though, right?

My first clue was when it turned blue just before going limp . . . Fortunately, I was with a trained medical professional and artificial resusitation was applied and Mr. Happy came back to life again.

[sorry, FA. I couldn't help myself and the unmerciful sarcasm!]

BTW, Its too loose if you're partner has to go on a search and destroy mission when you finish.

MacTheKnife · 09-27-2010, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by urhuckleberry

That's funny... a lady introduced me to them... she enjoyed them very much, as did I. Started out icy and got warmer - friction?

Not to be confused with Durex "Fire" which will "heat up" both participants in an unpleasant manner...

JME.

Huck

I brought my own condoms with me. I THOUGHT I brought Trojan Magnums. Unbeknownst to me, the 12 pack that I had bought included 2 free fire and ice condoms. Both were in gold foil packages, just like the Trojans. BOTH of us were surprised. Needless to say, I threw away the second condom.

Each woman's vajayjay reacts differently to outside sensations. Her's was not a pleasant experience.

Miss Dreams · 09-27-2010, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacTheKnife

The only place I can find my size of condoms is at Wal-Mart.

When I purchase them, it is embarrassing to see the looks on the faces of the check out ladies when I have 12 of them in my shopping cart.

OMG ! hahahaha

Sweet N Little · 09-27-2010, 11:55 AM

Plain Trojans is my preference, & bb I go to that kroger & have 2 ask 4 the key except it was lube I had 2 get & only the elderly pharmacist was on duty lol

Guest032112 · 09-27-2010, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

Plain Trojans is my preference, & bb I go to that kroger & have 2 ask 4 the key except it was lube I had 2 get & only the elderly pharmacist was on duty lol

I'll meet you in the produce department if I can squeeze the melons and not get arrested. We might give the horny lady with the key a thrill she hasn't had in years.

And no, I'm not interested in a 3some with the lady in the pharmacy.