Free Offer to Hookers w Poor Language Skills

[jfred]

No, I'm not "offering" to perfect your French (although I was once a judge in a bona fide blow job contest and hope I am more qualified now than then to give instruction).

But that's not it today. Truth is, work is slow and if I didn't have a girl friend who is rich and likes to buy me things I'd be hurting. But I'm still bored as Hell.

Yesterday, on another site, (where working girls occasionally interlope) I was reminded again of the cruel ironies of life -- in this case, of a young black hooker seeking a benefactor among only the most elite and successful of generous gentlemen, and expressing herself in terms that belied the truth of her uncompleted high school education. I love to be surprised as much as anyone but (dollars to doughnut holes) no one like that will ever call her. Just the usual jerks.

Enterprising people with aspirations inspire me (and not much else does these days) and to hear an ambitious young woman declaring to her elite audience that she doesn't want them to "waist" her time and to be sure to respond "respectively" (and the fuckin list went on an on...grammar, syntax, punctuation...imagine the worst and double it)...anyway, it broke m'heart.

LADIES: Do not fuck yourself in the foot before a decent SD gets a chance to smell your perfume. I know, I know, you think and talk and txt that way to your friends and it seems to work just fine. But at least consider that it may just be because none of you can recognize a coherent paragraph, much less compose one yourself, and it's the first thing he's gonna see (for cryin out loud).

HERE'S THE OFFER: Send me your ad or web page blurb and I'll send it back redacted into common-usage American English, with attention to preserve any attractive idiomatic constructions you happen to use, and without loss of erotic potential (yes, it's a gift). Simple as that. No guarantee but no charge either and NSA.

Unless too many respond I'll also try to take a look and be sure you're not saying crazy shit or just going on and on about stuff you ought to soft-petal.

As an example: Her answer to stock site question "What turns you on?" -- Dude, we ain't gonna even TALK about that until I'm sure you got lots of money!!!" Compare my suggestion to replace that -- "The gentleman I choose will find me extremely responsive to all the things women love. I cum easily and often." No contest, right?

Alright, we can start with PM's here. I'll use an old email address if we swamp the ECCIE server.

GENTLEMEN: You gotta write your own love letters. Wish I could help.

[smoothnsilky]

So is that "Hookers on Phonics"? Heheh, sorry I couldn't help it!

xoxo
Dawn

[rand]

for fun, can we send you some posts on BP and see if you can translate them into something coherent?

[LadyRed]

That would be a bait and switch or false advertisement. It would become apparent as soon as you spoke to or met them.

I don't think it would benefit them or the gentlemen they seek much.

[jfred]

Originally Posted by rand

for fun, can we send you some posts on BP and see if you can translate them into something coherent?

Yes, rand, you may send them to see if I can tweeze out the hidden message.

I mentioned the boredom, correct?

P.S. "Sentences begins w capitals." ~ Mrs. T, 2nd grade

P.P.S. Dawn, lovely to hear from you. Is it a coincidence that you (of pure, pale complexion) and the lass in my avatar (with her flawless matte-mocha skin) once performed an act that remains my favorite fantasy? I think not!

Hope you're well.

[rand]

Seriously? Mrs. T has terrible grammar.

Correct sentences:
"Sentences begin with capitals."
or
"A Sentence begins with a capital."

I hope Mrs. T isn't still corrupting our future generations.

[ArisRose]

A feeling of random sadness has overcome me.
It really hurts to think about people who don't have a proper education or have problems with reading and speech.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by LadyRed

That would be a bait and switch or false advertisement. It would become apparent as soon as you spoke to or met them.

I don't think it would benefit them or the gentlemen they seek much.

I agree with this totally, Miss Red.

I feel this is something a lady should want to accomplish on her own, especially since most browsers automatically come with spell check.

For those who think proper grammar is not important to their business, it probably isn't. But when it does become important, and they see the generally negative responses to ill-thought out threads and posts with bad grammar, they will seek to change.

There are companies that ladies can pay to write their ad copy and website verbiage. But unless the woman capable of that on her own, I wouldn't consider it a wise investment.

[parisdivine]

LMAO!
Not for nothing.... When do sex workers/ escorts / models, lets be real... need a degree in kneeling , twirling,and legs to the sky! !
lol seriously??
Not all sex workers are working toward a college degree baby!
While some ladies are paying their bills ,taking care of families, others are doing earnest work, to get out of a bad situation...Let's face it ... POVERTY SUCKS! Although we all come from various places , we are bound by the oldest profession.. The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.
Most ( not all ) of these Ads , yes, I'll say it "low budget ads " on BP and the like... are placed by predominately UNDER educated women from various socioeconomic backgrounds.

Legalizing sex work, taxing the income , would create declared income , and pay for education; thereby achieving true economic freedom.
In a BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY, the REAL CRIME should be taking / paying SHORT money from women that DON'T KNOW their REAL value in this industry.
The low hanging fruit often gets picked , ripe or not.
Cmon! One gets what one pays for when they go trolling on such sites ...proofreading... really? oh BTW I have an associates ..lol So what!

[rand]

Ok, let's do this. jred, see if you can work some of your "My Fair Lady" magic on this ad ripped from the nola bp. Pardon the caps, the message is copy/pasted without any corrections.

IM HERE TO PLEASE YOU. TRY ME AND SEE. I GRANT YOU WONT BE DISAPPIONTED. CALL ME @ 504 957 2342. FULL FILL YOU EVEREY NEED. NO RUSHING.

[Brooke Wilde]

If you could help this one out, that would be GREAT!


Imma supa frEaK2146974826 ma asai 15 callers onlyspeacial 40$ speacials until 6am - 20


Don't u wish your gyrlfriend was fly like me? Well let me b your gyrl and I promise u satisfaction garunteed call me I'm well revieewed 2146974826 ms asai


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[ArisRose]

Originally Posted by parisdivine

LMAO!
When do sex workers/ escorts / models, lets be real... need a degree in kneeling , twirling,and legs to the sky! !
lol seriously??
Not all sex workers are working toward a college degree baby!

It doesn't matter if your job is shoveling elephant shit at the zoo. Literacy, reading comprehension, and common sense can benefit anyone. All of which can be gained from America's limited public education facilities and government funded libraries (I love the library).
No associates degree needed.

Life can be pretty tough if you can't understand information being presented to you or are unable to articulate your needs to others.

[ArisRose]

Is anyone bothered by how the BP ads are presented? The only people I know who type like that are children. I had to unfriend an entire generation of cousins because of their mumbo jumbo English on facebook. Are these girls really children or is that the image their pimp wants to present (young and dumb).

[jfred]

Originally Posted by LadyRed

That would be a bait and switch or false advertisement. It would become apparent as soon as you spoke to or met them.

I don't think it would benefit them or the gentlemen they seek much.

Ms R, can you help me count the times I wouldn't come within 10 feet of some gal, until I came closer and she grabbed me by the dick (so to speak)? You'll have a hard time convincing me that an improved initial presentation won't give a gal a better chance. That's why I made the offer, not to promote fairness.

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

I agree with this totally, Miss Red.

...most browsers automatically come with spell check.

...and they see the generally negative responses to ill-thought out threads and posts with bad grammar, they will seek to change.

There are companies that ladies can pay to write...I wouldn't consider it a wise investment.

Huh? Spell check won't tell you that "waist" and "respectively" are the wrong word spelled correctly, and the browsers on most sites (ECCIE included) don't flag grammar at all.

And why wait for negative responses to crappy ads? Lost opportunities are LOST. And why are we discussing the merits of paid services?

Originally Posted by parisdivine

LMAO!.... ...blah blah blah...So what!

Yes, dear. Those are great injustices for sure. You should start a thread about that, somewhere, maybe.

Originally Posted by rand

Ok, let's do this. jred...

No, rund, what say we don't, instead. Sorry I invited that...not really here for your amusement (and your example poses no challenge at all). Bored again.

Also, jred (God rest his soul) was my late great-uncle from Moscow. Pay special attention to spelling folks' names.

[rand]

I'm sorry for the misspell, honest mistake; no offense intended.