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lawyerinjeans · 08-12-2014, 10:11 PM

Something happened that reminded me of the night I got "THE TALK". I thought it might be an entertaining topic for others to share how they got their "talk".

For me, the whole family was watching some old movie, parents on the sofa, me and two brothers with chin in hands laying on the floor.and there was a scene where a female character had to show her papers of some sort, and stamped on the document was the word "Prostitute". Laying on the floor, I just sort of asked over my shoulder, "Hey dad, what's a prostitute?" Nothing. Dead silence. So I asked again. You could hear a pin drop. So I let it go.

After the movie, mom hustled by brothers off to bed and dad said, Why don't you come over here on the couch for a minute. Well, what followed was the longest minute of my life. He finally got around to defining the term I'd asked about, before asking if I had any other questions. No way I could ask a question. I felt so embarassed for my dad.

Couple days later, I was hanging out in the garage with my grandfather. He said, "I heard you got the sex talk from your dad?" I thought, Not again. Gramps said, well, I'm sure your dad covered all that messy stuff, but let me tell you what my grandpa told me... and it's the best advice I've ever gotten about sex. He said, Son, you'll go places with a hard on you wouldn't go carrying a shot gun.
Still the best advice I"VE ever got.

pyramider · 08-13-2014, 08:17 AM

I am pushing 100 years old, I am still waiting for the "talk."

Kalani Kai · 08-20-2014, 05:45 PM

That's a crack up!!! I got mine at the family table when I was 7 or 8 (I think). I had been hearing my older Teen siblings talking about sex all the time, but didn't know what it was. Still can't believe I asked what it was at the dinner table. Dad & Mom dismissed the rest of the family and gave me "the talk" then. "Ueeeew, gross," I uttered. Then my immediate thoughts to myself were of intense curiousity. No sooner after that, I learned how to .... (Well you know). Won't say much more. Let's just say I don't exactly struggle to enjoy my Companion sessions, that's for sure!! LOL. Thanks for sharing LawyerIJ!!

Golfcart · 08-20-2014, 10:29 PM

A joke was told at school. The punch line was, "Grab her, she's a virgin." All the guys laughed. I didn't know what a virgin was so I didn't get the joke. When I got home I asked my mother what's a virgin. She said she didn't know either and I should ask my father. So I asked him when he got home and came in the back door. He was in a big hurry but when I asked the question he stopped in his tracks, sat me down, looked me seriously in the eye and said, "Son, a virgin is a tree that has never been cut." So there's this pause and I'm playing around in my head, "Grab her, she's a tree that has never been cut a few times and I still didn't get the joke. Then my dad asked me if I had any more questions. I said, "No," and he went on with what he was going to do when he came through the door and I never asked my parents any more sex questions.

SA Angel · 08-20-2014, 11:39 PM

Never got the talk.

I was supposed to stay a virgin until marriage so I didn't need one........whoops!

2wheels2fun · 08-21-2014, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAangel27

Never got the talk.

I was supposed to stay a virgin until marriage so I didn't need one........whoops!

It happened that way for me, too. And because I'm in my 40's and still a bachelor, my parents probably still assume I'm a virgin. There are some things you do not discuss at Thanksgiving.

MrThom · 08-21-2014, 06:17 PM

It was after my GGrandmother found the condom in my wallet when she was snooping. Dad and I went out for a drive and had a "discussion".

Mary Ann · 08-21-2014, 08:45 PM

I was the youngest of three girls. My mother had planned for the day that the oldest girl was going to start being curious... she bought a book called "The facts of Life". It was two books in one.... on one side it was about girls, and then if you turned if over, and flip it, it was another book about boys. In the center of the book where the two meet, was a two page photo... on one page it was a girl shown from a toddler up to adult and the body changes she goes through. On the opposite page, was the same for a boy.
I'm not sure what happened or what was said that caused the book to be brought out, but one day my mom brought it to all three of us, and explained that it was for the oldest to read, then once she was done with it, that we were welcomed to pick it up and read it when we wanted to. The oldest took it to her room for a few weeks, then she brought it out and place it on the bookshelf in the living room.
So we had that to refer to for any questions we might have... but we also knew about my fathers playboy and Hustler collection he kept in a box on the shelf in his closet. Between the two sources, none of us ever had to resort to approaching our parents with any questions. lol
When one of us girls had a new friend come over to the house, we would show them the book, and then get into the magazines... we would sit inside of our closet and whisper back and forth and giggle like crazy!

Guest091515-1 · 08-21-2014, 09:00 PM

In sixth grade, A friend of mine found his dad's hardcore porn magazine collection. After we spent hours pouring over them we figured it out for ourselves.

rare2prtk · 08-21-2014, 10:50 PM

Was in 9th grade, dad was headed to 'Nam, decided he needed to give the talk before he left. He was so red-faced, shaking, stammering, sweating when he was talking that I didn't know whether to believe him or not. Actually found his collection of Playboys more informative.

JohnnyCap · 08-22-2014, 06:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pyramider

...I am still waiting for the "talk."

Best thing I got from my Dad about sex: "If you're doing it for hours, you're doing it wrong."

Gotyour6 · 08-22-2014, 11:06 AM

I was molested by a 35 year old woman when I was 15

She fucked my brains out and I never told anyone.

Not like the dumb ass kids today with teachers.

Molested me all summer long lol.

FoulRon · 08-22-2014, 02:23 PM

There was supposed to be a "talk"?

Solitaire · 08-26-2014, 12:48 AM

My mom gave me a talk, some explanation about my period, and the 4-book series "The Life Cycle". It was pretty thorough, but based on the illustrations, I still didn't understand what a penis was supposed to look like, or how it "transformed". So every time my male cousins came around I'd pull the books out, show the pictures and ask if they had one of those. LOL

Later I found my dad's Playboy, Hustler, and Penthouse Letters collection... then it all made sense.

Guest021817-2 · 08-26-2014, 09:53 AM

Never got one either, but when I was 16 riding with my grandfather, out of the blue he tells me, ya' know... There is no such thing as bad pussy, some is just better than others.... He was 78 at the time. He then went on to tell me he wished he had a pair of boots made out of pussy, then made a list of pro's and cons for this and decided he did not need a pair of boots made out of pussy. That was an interesting ride with my grandfather that afternoon.