Big Time Decisions

[christopherstcloud]

I wanted to have an open and civil discussion about opportunities that arise as being a part of the hobby.

I have been in this game for five years and I learn as much as I can but I try to have fun as well. Sometimes when you're learning you can't have fun that may be a trade off.

When you meet people and see them enough and they trust you...they may then bring you into their world...or do an advanced screening to see if you can handle being a part of their world perhaps indefinitely.

As we know the hobby has many ways of doing this. You can be friends with a provider, date a provider, work with a provider, and God forbid have your cake and eat it to marry a provider and everything in between.

Notice boys and girls that I didn't bring up anything controversial.

Your thoughts...

[guest010313]

You do realize that most providers are not "providers" in real life right? However she is during a session is more than likely not at all what she is like when dinner is late and you forgot to put gas in the car and she has to nag you to pick up your socks.

[Muffrider]

Originally Posted by SillyGirl

You do realize that most providers are not "providers" in real life right? However she is during a session is more than likely not at all what she is like when dinner is late and you forgot to put gas in the car and she has to nag you to pick up your socks.

There is great wisdom in this response. The better you are able to keep the "every day rat race" separate from your sex life, the more enjoyable your sex life will be. That's the fantasy that a provider can offer.

[tomcat2102003]

Lilianna is spot on with her observation. The hobby offers something that everyday life just doesn't seem to be able to maintain.

[jaybee]

Originally Posted by SillyGirl

You do realize that most providers are not "providers" in real life right? However she is during a session is more than likely not at all what she is like when dinner is late and you forgot to put gas in the car and she has to nag you to pick up your socks.

lol isnt this why most guys that are married go see our hourly girlfriends??? it is our get away from real life stuff. if i wanted to hear all the nagging and no not tonight and did you call someone to fix the.... lawnmower lol do i look fat???etc id go home and try to do my wife....

[Sens55]

I was told at a tender age by a wise old truck driver that yolu always pay for sex. You can pay by the hour or on the installment plan. But for pure fun, stick to the hourly. Like they say, you don't pay for the sex. You pay them to go home afterwards. That's not being mean. It merely means they have their life, you have yours.

I am friends with several girls. I know a lot about them, like them & I believe the feeling is reciprocated. But even there we are still what we choose to show the other. We don't have to deal with each other 24/7 andthat makes it workable. I know of very few successful marriages between a rpovider & a client. There are some. But it takes something very special to make it work.

[CaptainKaos]

I just got done watching Vanilla Sky and it reminded me that there really is no such thing as a fuck buddy. Hobbying is waaaay better. And while some relationships in the hobby work out, it's rare.

[perpetualdesign]

Originally Posted by SillyGirl

You do realize that most providers are not "providers" in real life right? However she is during a session is more than likely not at all what she is like when dinner is late and you forgot to put gas in the car and she has to nag you to pick up your socks.

If I didn't have to go to the store to get what you forgot which is what caused dinner to be late, I wouldn't have forgot to put gas in the car. And it wouldn't hurt you to bend your pretty ass over and pick up the damn socks yourself instead of nag nag nag! Oh and did I tell you? I love you babe!

[vitokc]

Originally Posted by jaybee

lol isnt this why most guys that are married go see our hourly girlfriends??? it is our get away from real life stuff. if i wanted to hear all the nagging and no not tonight and did you call someone to fix the.... lawnmower lol do i look fat???etc id go home and try to do my wife....

If it begins with "did you" you know you're screwed (not in the good way) cause you probably didn't. If it begins with "can you" or "will you" at least you have some time before you're screwed again.

[BigMikeinKC]

Originally Posted by SillyGirl

You do realize that most providers are not "providers" in real life right? However she is during a session is more than likely not at all what she is like when dinner is late and you forgot to put gas in the car and she has to nag you to pick up your socks.

No different than when you first start dating a gal. Then once you are in a "relationship"....

[naughtynatale]

Originally Posted by Sens55

I was told at a tender age by a wise old truck driver that yolu always pay for sex. You can pay by the hour or on the installment plan. But for pure fun, stick to the hourly. Like they say, you don't pay for the sex. You pay them to go home afterwards. That's not being mean. It merely means they have their life, you have yours.

I am friends with several girls. I know a lot about them, like them & I believe the feeling is reciprocated. But even there we are still what we choose to show the other. We don't have to deal with each other 24/7 andthat makes it workable. I know of very few successful marriages between a rpovider & a client. There are some. But it takes something very special to make it work.

Well said. Ya'll will like me much better for brief periods as to the daily routine. It is not like I sit around all day looking purty But you won't catch me in sweats at the mall either (tee hee)

[sipapi]

-65-90% of prostitutes were victims of incest
-75% have attempted suicide

I am not painting all providers with a broad brush, only relating statistics.

I dated a provider for 18 months. I was only a client for about a month before she quit the business and we were a couple. This provider fit into the statistics mentioned above. She suffered severe emotional trauma and psychological problems, whether this was a result of her abuse, her profession or probably both. Due to these issues, IMHO, she was unable to trust or be honest. She was at times paranoid/delusion. An example, she covered up the cable box because she feared she was being taped. Think about it, if your profession requires you to be dishonest and secrective all the time because you never know who is on the other end of the phone, LE? someone who might hurt you? expose you?, this would have to have a cumulative effect on your ability to trust or be trusted. In the particular case of my SO it damaged her ability to have a normal, healthy relationship with herself, family and certainly our relationship.

The good escorts are great actresses. They create a facade that they want to have sex with you, that they enjoy your company, if it wasn't for that hourly fee would they really be fucking you? Probably not. It is strictly a cash business. It is difficult to create real intimacy with a partner when one of the parties is always up for an AVN award. lol

My girlfriend was the "hottest" woman I've known. I'm sure I will be searching in vain forever to find a sexual partner that equals her. Sex is a huge part of any relationship, a thirst that can never be quenched, (who would want too?) She was also extremely intelligent, funny, vibrant, adventurous...all great qualities for any relationship. But it is like having the best runningback in the NFL, but he always fumbles when he reaches the goal line. You see something incredible, but you can never quite reach the finish line.

My advice as someone who has been there...keep the two seperate, escort/relationship. Even better advise, find a "real" relationship who you connect with sexually. I've heard that utopia exists. lol. Anyone over the age of 16 knows any relationship is difficult at best, given the statistical evidence and inherent baggage a majority of providers bring, it makes a successful relationship with a prostitute a very long shot.

Having said all that...you never know, you and the provider in question may be the exception. Good luck.

Please, all providers, I was not characterizing you personally, only relatiing the statistics and my personal experience. You all may be the exception.

[SinsOfTheFlesh]

You'll get stats like 65-90% victims of incest if your sample is taken among street walkers, which is how most data for prostitutes is gathered. You get wildly different results by sampling escorts. There IS a difference.

Escorts tend to have higher education levels, are less likely to be involved in drug use, and are less likely to have a "pimp" or handler. An estimated 1 in 4 women has experienced some level of sexual abuse in their lifetime, and in that respect, escorts are no different from the general population. Some have indeed been victims of incest or assault, but many have not.

Don't say you aren't trying to paint us with a single brush stroke, while proceeding to do exactly that. *eyeroll*

If she was a headcase, and you stayed with her for 18 months, you need to take a look at your own self before generalizing about others.

[guest010313]

Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

You'll get stats like 65-90% victims of incest if your sample is taken among street walkers, which is how most data for prostitutes is gathered. You get wildly different results by sampling escorts. There IS a difference.

Escorts tend to have higher education levels, are less likely to be involved in drug use, and are less likely to have a "pimp" or handler. An estimated 1 in 4 women has experienced some level of sexual abuse in their lifetime, and in that respect, escorts are no different from the general population. Some have indeed been victims of incest or assault, but many have not.

Don't say you aren't trying to paint us with a single brush stroke, while proceeding to do exactly that. *eyeroll*

If she was a headcase, and you stayed with her for 18 months, you need to take a look at your own self before generalizing about others.

Well said!

[sipapi]

Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

You'll get stats like 65-90% victims of incest if your sample is taken among street walkers, which is how most data for prostitutes is gathered. You get wildly different results by sampling escorts. There IS a difference.

Escorts tend to have higher education levels, are less likely to be involved in drug use, and are less likely to have a "pimp" or handler. An estimated 1 in 4 women has experienced some level of sexual abuse in their lifetime, and in that respect, escorts are no different from the general population. Some have indeed been victims of incest or assault, but many have not.

Don't say you aren't trying to paint us with a single brush stroke, while proceeding to do exactly that. *eyeroll*

If she was a headcase, and you stayed with her for 18 months, you need to take a look at your own self before generalizing about others.

I did not gather the statistics only reported. I never mentioned education level, pimps or drug use. I stated my experience. The provider I dated was a victim of incest, did attempt suicide and did state she "hated" being a prostitute. Maybe she was lying on all 3 counts or maybe she did fall into the statistical norm for the profession.

You stated there is a difference between streewalkers and escorts, I made no mention of either. I have had $40 blowjob from a streetwalker in Tijuana and I have paid $5000 for two "escorts" in Vegas for a night of debachuary. To me there is no difference. Either way, they would of been charged with prostitution and me with solictation. Both extremes I was a john, hobbiest, client. The nomenclalure doesn't change the act. If I buy a shirt at a 2nd hand thrift store or Brooks Brothers, I'm still just buying a shirt, the quality and level service is just different.

The orginial post asked the question if he should pursue a relationship with a professional sex worker. I gave my personal experience and thoughts on the risks.

As far as your questioning why I stayed for 18 months. I make no apologies for giving full attention, trust, optimism to a relationship. I still believe given an enviroment of stability, trust, commitment, loyality the circumstances I encountered could still be overcome. While they did not with this particular SO, I will continue to subscibe to that philosophy. But thank you for reminding me to look inward, always good advice.